Taking time for self, but lonely

[Guest LittleShimmer]

Hi friends!

My Daddy and I separated a few months ago because I moved to a different state. I've been taking this time to "date" myself and really discover what I like and want in a relationship. I think it's been great so far. There are just times that I get really lonely. I have my regular life friends and they are fun to hang out with, but it's just not the same. I'm not actively looking for a new Daddy or partner of any kind at the moment. I am sill enjoying taking time for myself. 

 

Do any of you have advice on how to get through those lonely spells? Any ideas on how to care for myself in a way that let's me go into little space and feel loved, without depending on someone else?

[Biscuits]

Honestly, just like, ice cream and cartoons. Sit in bed, tie a soft blanket around yourself, put the tub of ice cream in front of you (or anything else that you enjoy having), and watch some cartoons. This, personally, is one of the best ways that I treat myself because I can watch something on TV made for 5 year olds and enjoy it by letting myself go a little with a treat.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

Hi there! I can definitely relate to these feelings. As someone who is going through some pretty serious Caregiver changes, I'm finding it harder to feel that connection and relax myself! What I find really helps is that being "Little" is really just a frame of mind, and once you find things that make you happy, feeling small and protected and safe comes naturally. Focus less on finding things to do that make you "Little" and more on things that just make you happy -- once you remove the restriction that they have to be Little things, it's easier to find your center. (And remember -- /anything/ can be a Little thing if you make it!) I also suggest reaching out here or similar sites and finding some Little friends. Even if you just message with them online, or set up a Skype playdate to watch some movies, it'll make the time go by a lot differently. 

[alotalittle]

The other responses were perfect. I relate to your post a lot in that I get lonely for a caregiver sometimes. I think what you're doing by "dating" yourself is awesome and a wonderful healing process. Doing that will definitely improve your life! Keep up the good work with that and good things will come. Saying that, I know how hard loneliness can be and how strong the desire to feel taken care of, for even a moment, is.

 

I rarely get the opportunity to go into little space (and often struggle to get into it when I do have the opportunity). However, on the rare occasion that I know I have a full day to myself, I will plan ahead to have my own "little day". The day before, I'll go on a small shopping trip and get some of my favorite little items: coloring book/crayons--unless I already have them, ice cream, cereals, fruits and other snacks, temporary tattoos, a small toy, etc. I'll usually get everything I need to get done as early in the day as possible, and then I prep my "little space" (usually my living room) with blankets, stuffies, coloring utensils, etc. Finally, I get to spend the rest of my afternoon/evening in little space watching my favorite cartoons/movies and doing lots of my favorite little things.

 

By planning ahead and getting everything set up, I have more freedom to slip into little space and less need of a caregiver in that moment to set it all up for me. It doesn't solve the loneliness entirely or the desire for a caregiver, but prepping everything first and acting as my own caregiver in a sense, works for me sometimes.