Why are people so judgemental?

[Guest Angeldark87]

So today I decided that I was going to tell my long time friend madison that I had discovered DDLG and that I am a caregiver.  I figured that she would understand and support my decision to be a part of this lifestyle considering when she told me about a few of her lifestyle choices which were a little bit out of the ordinary I was completely understanding and I supported her decision fully and even helped her to learn more about it.   But today when I told her I got a completely different reaction than I expected.  First thing she said was   "uhhh....???  isn't that the weird daddy molesting kink? ewwww.   How could you be into that!  I feel really uncomfortable now"   I was shocked and I reacted with  "what???  Ok CLEARLY you do not understand anything about DDLG and just an fyi it IS NOT a molestation kink.  it is a lifestyle choice and part of BDSM and for the most part a 24/7 thing which I very much take seriously.  Yes there are some people that use it as a way to fulfill their "playing with little girls" fantasies but normally those are fake daddies and not real caregivers.  What I am into is the ability to be a true caregiver to women who like to let out their inner child and what's wrong with that?  yes there is sex involved but there's usually sex involved in any relationship you are in from vanilla to heavy bondage.  I strongly suggest before you judge me again that you look into DDLG and get your facts straight"   Sadly she replied with  "Nah you do you man.  Just don't tell me about it.   cus I have no interest in hearing about your disgusting kinks"   So ya.  can people PLEASE do their research before they judge us?   We are not disgusting and we are not pedophiles at all.  Everything that happens in a DDLG relationship is completely consenting between two adults.  Thank you for listening.  

[Sparklefrosting]

I had a friend of 15 years stop talking to me just because she found out I make bdsm collars. I told I had friends that were into it that needed custom sizes and wanted something more colorful/playful than what's normally available and since I'm good at making things I had made some sample work for them. She asked some random questions that didn't have really any point and then I never heard from her again. 

It sucks when people we care about act rashly. I hope your friend comes around and decides to be more receptive on the subject. 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

My dearest friend knows Daddy and I are D/s, she has no clue what all that entails for us and knows nothing of DDlg. I'm too afraid to tell anyone... I'm sorry your friend reacted so negatively.

[Guest Angeldark87]

I had a friend of 15 years stop talking to me just because she found out I make bdsm collars. I told I had friends that were into it that needed custom sizes and wanted something more colorful/playful than what's normally available and since I'm good at making things I had made some sample work for them. She asked some random questions that didn't have really any point and then I never heard from her again. 

It sucks when people we care about act rashly. I hope your friend comes around and decides to be more receptive on the subject.

 

Thank you so much for that! I am so sorry to hear about your friend no longer being there just because of something like that. I mean she must have been really judgemental to end a 15 year friendship from something so small. So what? You have a good hobby that makes people happy whats so wrong with that?

[Guest Angeldark87]

My dearest friend knows Daddy and I are D/s, she has no clue what all that entails for us and knows nothing of DDlg. I'm too afraid to tell anyone... I'm sorry your friend reacted so negatively.

You shouldn't be afraid to tell people you are close to. Even if they judge you it is part of you and nobody should ever try to change who you are. Back it up with specific information and invite them to read up on it and include a site that has good honest information. Give them the tools to learn about it so that they can know you even better. Because for most of us ddlg is one of the biggest parts of who we are.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

You shouldn't be afraid to tell people you are close to. Even if they judge you it is part of you and nobody should ever try to change who you are. Back it up with specific information and invite them to read up on it and include a site that has good honest information. Give them the tools to learn about it so that they can know you even better. Because for most of us ddlg is one of the biggest parts of who we are.

Indeed it is a big part of who I am... it is also a part of me I don't feel the world needs to know. I am a very sensitive person, and peoples opinions matter greatly to me. I don't feel like I could handle losing the very few people close to me over this. I am who I am in public regardless... it's once you throw the label that people start judging. I have very few people I consider friends, anyways.

[LittleNanette]

we're all judgemental in our own ways....  that's how humans are can't do anything about it but hope that they don't judge you for what makes you you

[Guest Angeldark87]

Indeed it is a big part of who I am... it is also a part of me I don't feel the world needs to know. I am a very sensitive person, and peoples opinions matter greatly to me. I don't feel like I could handle losing the very few people close to me over this. I am who I am in public regardless... it's once you throw the label that people start judging. I have very few people I consider friends, anyways.

Well that is your choice completely. You have the right to either tell others or keep it to yourself.

[Guest Angeldark87]

we're all judgemental in our own ways....  that's how humans are can't do anything about it but hope that they don't judge you for what makes you you

Precisely and that is exactly my point. I take being daddy very seriously and I am a damn good one at that. What she says or anyone says will never take that away.

[EllaDawn]

I'm pretty open about it with my friends and family. Not with my inlaws though. Recently someone I know only slightly requested that no one talk about it around them on social media, and that if people whose posts they might see did, they needed there to be a trigger warning because it triggered them so badly. I'm really bothered by that, because if I'm posting in MY spaces, then I shouldn't have to do a content warning about my relationship as if it's something horrible or shameful. I really wish people would educate themselves more - I'm always happy to talk about it. But I won't flag discussions about my very valid and healthy relationship dynamic, at least not on my page or in groups that allow discussions of D/s and non-mainstream dynamics.

[Guest Angeldark87]

I'm pretty open about it with my friends and family. Not with my inlaws though. Recently someone I know only slightly requested that no one talk about it around them on social media, and that if people whose posts they might see did, they needed there to be a trigger warning because it triggered them so badly. I'm really bothered by that, because if I'm posting in MY spaces, then I shouldn't have to do a content warning about my relationship as if it's something horrible or shameful. I really wish people would educate themselves more - I'm always happy to talk about it. But I won't flag discussions about my very valid and healthy relationship dynamic, at least not on my page or in groups that allow discussions of D/s and non-mainstream dynamics.

I completely agree! But honestly I think people complain just cus they like to complain. They think the world revolves around themselves and their stupid closed minded opinions. And yes I believe in freedom of speech but I also believe in getting your facts straight before oprning your mouth. Theres too many half assed attempts to seem smart out there but really are but made up crap in order to seem smart

[LittleNanette]

we can't educate ourselves about everything... i'm part of the ddlg community but i have no idea about a lot of BDSM practices... i have no idea about astrophysics... we have to be as open minded as we want others to be... if they don't understand it... explain it... if they don't want to understand it that's their right....

[Sparklefrosting]

Thank you so much for that! I am so sorry to hear about your friend no longer being there just because of something like that. I mean she must have been really judgemental to end a 15 year friendship from something so small. So what? You have a good hobby that makes people happy whats so wrong with that?

She's extremely religious, which oddly enough is why we got along so well because we're both innocently natured, I understand why it would make her uncomfortable but I don't want to compromise who I am and I'm sure she feels the same way. It's just sad.  

On a bright note I told my best friend that I'm a little and she was concerned/a lil freaked out but asked lots of questions and in the end was happy for me. 

[Frog]

The only people close to me who know are a longtime friend and my brother. That's it. I know most I know wouldn't understand it or, like many, would assume it's a molestation kink.

 

My friend has told me things about herself that she tells very few, and I've told her about DDlg and a couple other things that I probably won't even mention to people here. (In fact, she may be the only one with whom I've confided a couple things.)

 

I realize that means I'll probably never tell anyone else close to me. But, well, for some of us there are things we need to hide. DDlg is just another thing I feel I have to hide from most.

[Himedere-Chan]

I know the feeling. I had a heated debate about CG/l and kinks and sexuality as a whole with people. The girl kept saying CG/l Is a way for "cis" gender white males to take advantage of mental females. Like, what?! There are female caregivers lady and men can be littles too, it's just more common for females to be little.

Anywho people are dumb dumbs, but we shouldn't hate or not listen to them, they expect people who are into this to not listen and rage, if we just state the facts and leave it at that, they'll see (hopefully) we're at the very least kind and honest people.

Personal opinion. Love the post I think many of us can relate.

[Harley_Quinn]

I know someone who told me I can't have my son and participate in child molestation kinks. It's thrown me massively out of little space because of it people just suck

[BruceDaLittle]

I told my brother about me being a little and he told me you do you. I told him about littles and caregivers and stuff and he is cool with it as long as I'm being safe and my mommy is ok. I won't tell any of my other family or friends cuz they are all judgemental. my aunt caught me in diapers holding a stuffie and told me to stop wearing them cuz I was depressed. I wasn't and she never asked me why I was wearing them. i had stress incontinence. I'm an adult and that's how I chose to deal with it. I still wear diapers for bedwetting cuz of my cerebral palsy.

[Guest x77]

I don't tell anyone. None of my friends need to know about it and it's not that I'm ashamed of me being little I just don't think it's crucial or relevant that anyone knows. I feel like I have to constantly explain that I'm not mocking victims of sexual assault or promoting pedophilia. I say "two consenting adults" and it's just in one ear and out the other. When I first found out that Cgl was something that really suited me I went looking for groups hoping to find other Littles to talk to and it was all just gross people looking for hookups and posting nudes saying "lookit meee #Babyguuurl" and fake daddies replying "Hi princess" - I imagine that a lot of Anti-Cgl people see this and have a terrible first impression.