Is it always a BDSM thing, or is there a community for like non domination age play and caretaking?

[Libby]

Um so I'm very new lol. I like the age play and daddy caretaker thing super fun, and I try to find info about because i've heard about DDLG, but I've only ever found stuff where its a part of BDSM and there is domination/punishment/ things I find nasty yucky and not interested in. I can't find anything about it without the simulating/pretending or actual abuse part. Is it not popular at all that way or something? 
Anyone have information for me about.. um.. stuff?
Thank you.

[LittleAlienGirl]

Personally,for me, it's age regression and my boyfriend just takes care of me. We've yet to try anything like dom/punish/etc, so right now it's just sweet stuff.
I don't know if this is a helpful answer, but I try!

[LittleAlienGirl]

Oh, and don't hesitate to ask questions here! Nobody will judge. Hope you get a better understanding of it, and find out what you need.

[Guest Loki]

Yes some of us have BDSM along with our DDlg (I'm one of them) but for most DDlg it's about being able to do things kids do without fear of judgement. And the Caregivers play with and protect their littles. Many DDlg relationships don't have any sexual aspects at all!

 

I don't trust most of the places that talk about DDlg because they are spreading lies. If they say anywhere it's about pedophilia then leave ASAP. They are outright lying and intentionally causing harm!

 

That's why it's so important to join a community and ask questions!

 

Don't be afraid! We're friendly.

Edited March 19, 2017 by Pinkyellowblue

[Libby]

Oh no Im into the sexual aspect, what I mean is Im not into bondage or sadomasochism. I don't want to be injured, dont like pain. Would I still say my interests are part of BDSM and try to get into a BDSM community/scene, or would I fall under something else?

[Libby]

Or am I misunderstanding the term BDSM? It makes me think of people whipping or hitting or cutting the little or something. But can it also mean .. not that? I would want my daddy to treat me like his little darling not enact sadism against me when he plays with me. I don't think I'm a masochist, just submissive like..

[Pink]

BDSM is usually used as an umbrella term for most kinks c:

 

There is no one way or one right way to do DDlg, CG/l etc., whatever way feels best for you is 100% correct ^.^

 

I don't do sadomasochistic stuff either or extreme punishment for that matter. It's really up to the couple and the type of dynamic they want!

[Libby]

Alright. So I'm single at the moment actually. I want to get into the "scene" I think, and find people to date who might make a good daddy for me, I don't want to be attracting guys that want to do sadistic things to a little/me. What advice would you give?

[Pink]

Just take your time, find what you like for yourself, then get to know potential people, and don't go with the first one you meet. There's lots of good and wonderful Daddies out there, and there's lots of bad Daddies out there. Your own natural instincts will tell you if there's a red flag, a gut feeling, something will tell you that there's something wrong. But trust me when I say there are so many good and nurturing Daddies out there, one who will cherish you and make you feel loved <3

[Libby]

Aww thanks. :-) <3

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

If your looking for someone to date, just be open and honest about what you want, don't want, like and don't like. Tell people right off the back what your looking for. It's the only way you'll know 100% for sure that someone else will know that you want. You have to tell people, as much as we'd like them too sometimes, people can't read minds and hints can be confusing.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

your posts honestly make me think you need to educate yourself a lot more on

ddlg and bdsm both. ( that and your consideration for others, i wouldn't suggest calling anyone else's

kinks icky or nasty. ) you don't seem like you know what either of those things are 

about, i only say this because it sounds like you got your version of whatever you're

thinking from 50 shades of grey. try surfing this site a bit to find out what exactly it is

you're attempting to get into. not all ddlg ships or bdsm is masochism or any of the 

like you assume it is. it's dangerous to get into any kind of relationship without knowing

what it is you're stepping into, knowledge is power. 

 

every relationship is going to be different, some littles might like what you're assuming it

all is and that's their ship - two consenting adults. really, everything you just said screamed

wrong, yes, it's good to ask questions but i'm positive no one else here would tell you that

saying something you don't like that others actively participate in is disgusting is terrible.

 

my advice, find a safe spot to educate yourself ( like these forums ) but keep in mind that

not every relationship will be the same, not everyone likes or dislikes the same thing as you

do, that there is NO wrong way to do it because ddlg is so very open to interpretation. not 

every ship has punishments, rewards, rules, or even ageplay. like stated above, it's basically

100% what you and your partner want. 

Edited March 19, 2017 by ☄ Stardust Kitten ☆

[DollDirector]

On top of what Pink,CrazyLittleBuggaBoo and Cosmic Pengu say,I would add that you can write a personal that says what state of mind you are in. Don't rush into anything. You are not going to have sex on day one,are you ? These relationships can start like any other one,indeed they can start more carefully than any other one,which would be in tune with the dynamic ...

[Harley_Quinn]

Personally if I regress in age of daddy becomes dominant I cry and get scared. So usually he has to be a non dominant daddy if I am deep in little space

[TheRatQueen]

DDlg relationships like one you're describing do exist.

 

My advice is to read. Even if you think there's an aspect you'll dislike like - read on it. Educating yourself is so important and it allows you to explore things without physical risk. It also allows you to be a better partner and more responsible participant. There's no wrong way to practice DDlg as long as everyone involved are consenting adults.

 

Personally, I think DDlg falls under BDSM regardless of any domination/submission/what have you, because it's an adult thing.

[Frog]

I agree with others in that you need a bit more education on BDSM. I think many misunderstand what domination means. I used to think the same thing, that it always meant being a slave or quiet pet or something. Later I learned about it and had a dominatrix friend who helped me understand it a bit more. 

 

Before I say anymore, I'm not highly experienced, so take what I say with skepticism. (I feel more should be skeptical anyway, but that's a different conversation.)

 

DDlg falls under the BDSM umbrella because quite often littles like the structure and guidance that bigs offer. Not always. There are many littles who don't want to be guided or "pushed" at all. Some like spanking, some don't. If you don't like something, then don't accept that as part of a relationship. This goes for DDlg or vanilla or anything. Would you put a bad tire on a car and drive it? Of course not. Then don't add an unwanted aspect into a relationship.

 

BDSM isn't one thing. It's a classification with so many types that I don't think anyone can count all of the types of BDSM. I've talked to people who liked playful spanking and I've talked to people who want to be forcefully grabbed and thrown to the floor. One person I talked to likes being yelled at and spit on. I wouldn't do that, but if it turns her on and she accepts it, then she's more than welcome to have that in her life. I don't understand it, but I don't have to. We can't really judge consenting adults just because we don't like something.

 

By far the most important thing about BDSM is communication. I was just talking about this with my brother a couple days ago. The thing that impresses me most about DDlg and BDSM in general is the amount of communication that is involved. I'm always hearing about conditions, soft limits, hard limit, safe words, safe gestures, and so on. How often I've heard vanilla couples say something like "I never knew my partner did/didn't like X." But I don't hear that very often in BDSM couples. 

 

tl;dr BDSM is a varied umbrella of interests, not just sexual. You can pick and choose what letter in it you like and don't like.

[mylittlesidewearsblack]

Alright. So I'm single at the moment actually. I want to get into the "scene" I think, and find people to date who might make a good daddy for me, I don't want to be attracting guys that want to do sadistic things to a little/me. What advice would you give?

Be honest with people. No good Dom or Daddy would make you do something without your consent - that is abuse, not kink. But yeah, there are non-D/s relationships within DDLG, but i do have to say that it makes more sense to me with D/s relationships involved.

[Libby]

 

your posts honestly make me think you need to educate yourself a lot more on

ddlg and bdsm both. ( that and your consideration for others, i wouldn't suggest calling anyone else's

kinks icky or nasty. ) you don't seem like you know what either of those things are 

about, i only say this because it sounds like you got your version of whatever you're

thinking from 50 shades of grey. try surfing this site a bit to find out what exactly it is

you're attempting to get into. not all ddlg ships or bdsm is masochism or any of the 

like you assume it is. it's dangerous to get into any kind of relationship without knowing

what it is you're stepping into, knowledge is power. 

 

every relationship is going to be different, some littles might like what you're assuming it

all is and that's their ship - two consenting adults. really, everything you just said screamed

wrong, yes, it's good to ask questions but i'm positive no one else here would tell you that

saying something you don't like that others actively participate in is disgusting is terrible.

 

my advice, find a safe spot to educate yourself ( like these forums ) but keep in mind that

not every relationship will be the same, not everyone likes or dislikes the same thing as you

do, that there is NO wrong way to do it because ddlg is so very open to interpretation. not 

every ship has punishments, rewards, rules, or even ageplay. like stated above, it's basically

100% what you and your partner want. 

 

 

 

 

My post makes you think I need to educate myself more? That could be because I said I was entirely new and asking where I could find information on it that would be relevent to me in my original post, right

I'm also perfectly entitled to call violence nasty, I don't like it. If you do that's your deal but I can actually find it repulsive, it's my own sexuality and ethics I was talking about not yours or others'.

I come in peace, I'm not looking for condesention from anyone, just have some questions. Which, granted, I see might be annoying to people fully immersed in the subculture, if you find my newbie questions annoying perhaps just leave them for someone who isn't annoyed by them to answer? 

Yes I will surf this site a bit more, thanks for that.

Edited March 20, 2017 by Libby

[Libby]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for me. This is probably a bit of overshare but you are strangers on the internet so here goes, I was physically abused as a child, and what I'm looking to see if I can find in this "scene" is the type of relationship that's very loving and nurturing, along with age play, I like the bedtimes and sticker chart and dressing up cute and feeling safe to go into a little persona and have nice, light, fun, sexy times lol. It doesn't seem to fit the BDSM label as I understand it, though I have brought it up/tryed to do it with a boyfriend in the past but he wasn't into pretending I'm a little girl so I just dropped it. I'm trying to find "my people" to learn about this from, I'm thinking the majority of this scene are different to me in that they like punishment and pain or etc, but surely I'm not the only one who likes it sweet haha. Ok sorry if I got a little defensive earlier to, I'm not really used to talking about my unusual sexual desires with a bunch of people, at all.

[mylittlesidewearsblack]

Also, have you considered taking the BDSM test? There may be things that you are interested in that you didn't know you were. If you want to take it, you can click on my profile. But basically, answer honestly, and then you can put the results in your profile on different fetish/dating/whatever sites and that is one good way to show people what you are actually interested in.

[Libby]

Alright will do, thanks.

[Pink]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for me. This is probably a bit of overshare but you are strangers on the internet so here goes, I was physically abused as a child, and what I'm looking to see if I can find in this "scene" is the type of relationship that's very loving and nurturing, along with age play, I like the bedtimes and sticker chart and dressing up cute and feeling safe to go into a little persona and have nice, light, fun, sexy times lol. It doesn't seem to fit the BDSM label as I understand it, though I have brought it up/tryed to do it with a boyfriend in the past but he wasn't into pretending I'm a little girl so I just dropped it. I'm trying to find "my people" to learn about this from, I'm thinking the majority of this scene are different to me in that they like punishment and pain or etc, but surely I'm not the only one who likes it sweet haha. Ok sorry if I got a little defensive earlier to, I'm not really used to talking about my unusual sexual desires with a bunch of people, at all.

Take your time finding your place in the community, I know lots of littles who don't do sexual anything while in little space, I don't for instance. I like the caregiving aspect of DDlg, CG/l etc. Makes me feel safe. You're not alone. <3

[Frog]

[Libby]

It's alright. Thanks for welcoming me.

[Sparklefrosting]

When I first started exploring being a little, cgl/ddlg, and bdsm it was super confusing and a lot of the information out there is incorrect or just from one point of view which can leave you feeling uncomfortable and creeper out about what you thought you wanted. 

Know that there are many types of daddies & caregivers and no one true way to incorporate a ddlg dynamic into a relationship whatever you're comfortable with you can find someone that’s interested in the same things if you're honest and open.