Learning Daddy...

[Guest thepoet]

I'm sure this question has been answered before, but I'm wondering how to juggle the inconsistencies between being a Daddy that's new to the scene and the expectations of the role of a Dominant. Clearly, new Daddies must come from somewhere - for the growth and benefit of the scene - but I'm curious on the balance between needing to learn and needing to be in charge. As I've mentioned, I'm sure this question is fundamental enough to be par for the course, but for all my current searching I'm yet to find an answer that satisfies me. How does a new Daddy enter the dynamic?

[GuyWhoLovesTheSun]

In my short experience of 3 years in the dynamic, I found that I learned a lot from the littles I talked to as well as fellow DDs as to what to do, say, prepare, and expect from certain situations you may find yourself in. My first experiences talking to people in this dynamic was in a group chat where DDs and LGs comingled and though I wasnt pursuing anyone at the time, I learned a lot just talking to people and getting a feel for what drew them to the dynamic and what they took from their experiences. Im sure there is a learning curve, but if you talk to experienced members, most of your difficult questions/problems are found to be easilly answered/solved. Hope this is an answer you were looking for, and if you have any questions, feel free to message me, I may not be a veteran daddy by any means, but I do have a relative amount of wisdom rolling around the old hamster wheel.

[Guest]

From talking with different DD/ Mommies and caregivers, one thing I have heard a lot is wanting to take care of someone or having a need to protect someone is something they felt very early one when being in relationships.

 

I think for most DDs and littles it's just a learn as you go kind of thing. You read stuff, you talk to people. You find out your likes and dislikes as you go. Each Dom has their own way of doing things , as each little has their own way of doing things. I think it's awesome as of lately there are doms reaching out to fellow Doms for advice and friendship, cuz for a while I didn't see many Dom's being friends. (from what I saw at least.

[Guest Princessaj]

Hi thanks for asking for our feedback.

 

New Daddies come from zero to Hero. Hero's are prepared for everything.

 

A little, or as for me, a middle secret. There is nothing like the look on our faces with big smiles when you, a Daddy Dom already knows what we like and want. You will feel ten feet tall when a little says "....how did you know?...you made me so very pink pony happy, twirls and falls down giggling!!!"

 

Study littles. They will teach you a lot about what goes on while they are in little space.

 

Read everything in "Little Space" here. Pretend you are just eves dropping in on little conversations.

 

Littles are not afraid to speak their mind. If you don't understand something you may want to request a friendship with that little who said it so they can explain it to you. Get it from them directly.

 

Start a notebook with a wish list of things that you see that littles mention that you want to have in a little and do with your little in a DDlg relationship.

 

"Expectations of the role of a Dominant."

 

Expectations belong to the person that holds them. I can only have expectations of and for myself. If you think that you must be a certain way for someone 's ideas of what they think will make them happy, no one will be happy.

 

You ARE a Dominant, you are not playing a role. Please be yourself. Being Dominant is how God made you and it is an adventure. Some days you might be the "ruler of the universe" Dom, other days you may be the "soaping up your little in a bubble bath" Dom. Embrace it all.

 

When you, the educated, well read, researched, socialized Daddy Dom knows more about yourself and what littles are made of, you won't be new anymore...ps...you never stop learning anyway. Hugs.

[Hurndauke]

It's all a learning experience, my friend.

[Frog]

I'm new to DDlg because I (like many) had the wrong idea of what DDlg and cg/l are. But when I actually read about it, I realized I had been like that for as long as I can remember. Like Princessaj said, it's what you are.

 

When I first learned about it, I still wasn't interested. I didn't want to roleplay 24/7. (Again, I was very new.) Later I learned it's a part of who I am. When I mentioned it to a non-DDlg friend, she even remarked that's me.

 

The good part about this is that there's a broad spectrum of what kind of dom you can be. Just keep reading, figure out whay you do & don't like, and talk to others.

[Loxarchos]

Everyone's different, is something to keep in mind. I have Daddy/Dom tendencies, but the exact aspects that come out really depend on the person I'm connecting with, and the chemistry that we share.  

 

Like others have said, it's great to talk to people, to read up, to learn as much as you can.  You'll likely learn a lot about yourself in the process. Most importantly, you want to figure out what works for you and what doesn't, what you want and what you don't--- and how all this applies to someone you want to be with. Or are already with. 

 

All relationships, whether "normal" or ddlg, are about figuring the other person out  and in the end that's the task ahead of you.