Nonsexual Relationship?

[Guest aishthetic]

Hi cuties! How are you doing today?   

So I have a question...

Since I'm still relatively new in this forum and this lifestyle, I know that some people in the DD/lg community often times have a sexual relationship. And sometimes there are those who are into nonsexual relationship as well.

But, is it weird if I want to have a nonsexual DD/lg relationship? It's just that since I'm still a newbie, I think it would be weird and it makes me uncomfortable being in a sexual DD/lg relationship cause I've never had sexual relationships in the past (I've never even kissed!)

And if I was in a situation where I was talking to a potential daddy who's very sexual, and told me he expected sex (but he did say we'd take things very slowly), but I've already told him I felt uncomfortable but he still insisted, what should I do? Isn't that kind of situation kind of, you know, violate the rules?

Sorry for asking lots of questions!   

[Guest Ginger]

Not at all! Non-sexual relationships aren't unheard of. Platonic relationships, if you will There are quite a few looking for the same thing in Personals.

 

If you're in a situation like that, then he's clearly not respecting your boundaries and you can just cut ties immediately. You deserve someone who will respect your wishes. If you don't want to be sexual, you don't have to be. I'm sure there's someone out there who wants the exact same!

 

Best of luck
~Ginger

[Guest aishthetic]

Not at all! Non-sexual relationships aren't unheard of. Platonic relationships, if you will There are quite a few looking for the same thing in Personals.

 

If you're in a situation like that, then he's clearly not respecting your boundaries and you can just cut ties immediately. You deserve someone who will respect your wishes. If you don't want to be sexual, you don't have to be. I'm sure there's someone out there who wants the exact same!

 

Best of luck

~Ginger

 

I know, but it's just that those who aren't in platonic relationship find it weird... and someone asked me a question if I'm interested in a platonic relationship, how would I "make my daddy happy", when I told him that sexual intercourse isn't the only way to make someone "happy", he said that he expected me (he thinks that I'm interested with him being my daddy) to be curious of sex, implying that he expects me to want to have sexual intercourse.. I've met 2 guys from here who I feel comfortable talking to but they just don't respect my wishes.. I didn't know being in a DD/lg lifestyle is exhausting

Thanks for the respond, Ginger!

[Guest Ginger]

 Seriously, they asked that? Jeez... Don't they know that sex isn't required to be in a relationship? Dude can go take care of himself. It's not unheard of and it's certainly not your problem. If you don't want a sexual relationship, that's that. If you put that down in a Personal "I don't want anything sexual" and someone asks why or something, ignore them. You don't have to explain your reasoning. What matters is that they respect your boundaries. If you find someone and feel comfortable to explain why, by all means, go ahead if you want to.

 

Typically, if someone jumps straight to asking for nudes or sexually explicit talk, you can about guarantee they're not really looking for a DD/LG relationship. They're looking for a submissive who they can manipulate. Not that everyone's like this, but that's been my experience.

 

I'm sorry if I sound rude or anything, I just get really frustrated when people think they can push their wants onto someone who's already stated they're not interested. Just ignore those meanies and I'll keep my fingers crossed you find someone that's right for you!

[Guest aishthetic]

 Seriously, they asked that? Jeez... Don't they know that sex isn't required to be in a relationship? Dude can go take care of himself. It's not unheard of and it's certainly not your problem. If you don't want a sexual relationship, that's that. If you put that down in a Personal "I don't want anything sexual" and someone asks why or something, ignore them. You don't have to explain your reasoning. What matters is that they respect your boundaries. If you find someone and feel comfortable to explain why, by all means, go ahead if you want to.

 

Typically, if someone jumps straight to asking for nudes or sexually explicit talk, you can about guarantee they're not really looking for a DD/LG relationship. They're looking for a submissive who they can manipulate. Not that everyone's like this, but that's been my experience.

 

I'm sorry if I sound rude or anything, I just get really frustrated when people think they can push their wants onto someone who's already stated they're not interested. Just ignore those meanies and I'll keep my fingers crossed you find someone that's right for you!

 

That's what I think! Yes, having a sexual intercourse may be important but it's not required in any type of relationship.. The first guy I talked to (from here) already said that he's a sexual daddy, which I understand cause that's his choice but I already said that I'm not too into sexual relationship, I already told him over and over again (while we texted yesterday for a day) that I feel uncomfortable with the notion, and I told him I even feel uncomfortable and awkward talking about sex with him, but he just insisted that all I need is time and "a good nurturing". I told him again that I didn't feel like it but all he said is he'd take the relationship slower but thatt clearly contradicted with what all he said yesterday, always adding sexual innuendos in our conversation like when I sent him a picture of me with a caption"I'm short", he wasn't responding like a normal person talking about heights, he said "I like short girls, they're good for sex" ??????????? what the actual??????? then I told him what I expect from my potential daddy, and I told again that I'm uncomfortable with sexual relationship. Guess what he said?

Because I felt comfortable talking to him (besides the annoying sexual innuendos), I told my reason for wanting a platonic relationship, but guess what he said again? That I just need a "good nurturing" :)

This guy clearly doesn't respect and literally ignore my boundaries it's sickening

And even though at first we're talking about normal things, he did sexually explicit talk.. so I'm 100% sure he's not serious into a DD/lg relationship, he did say that his background he was a Master

 

And then there's another guy, he's the one who ask me how I would "make my daddy happy" if I don't want to have a sexual intercourse.. He's the one I'm talking about on another post (the older guy), after I said that if a couple is comfortable with each other, they'd find another fun activities to have fun together, and he literally said "of course you're uncomfortable, you're a little. Just do what daddy says"...

 

Oh and don't worry you don't sound rude at all

[Guest BabyGlitterMilk]

It's not strange at all!

I'm only interested in a platonic CG/l relationship myself, and I can promise we aren't the only ones who feel this way. I am so, so sorry to see you've had problems with douchey guys just looking for a kinky lay. I hope you find a REAL Daddy who will respect your boundaries. I'm sure having a sexual relationship is nice but like, if you don't want it you don't want it. Any Daddy making excuses for you as to why you don't want it is just garbage. I don't care. You can't tell somebody they're wrong for not complying to your every little sexual desire.

 

ugh. (๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧

Edited March 12, 2017 by BabyGlitterMilk

[littlebylittle]

That's what I think! Yes, having a sexual intercourse may be important but it's not required in any type of relationship.. The first guy I talked to (from here) already said that he's a sexual daddy, which I understand cause that's his choice but I already said that I'm not too into sexual relationship, I already told him over and over again (while we texted yesterday for a day) that I feel uncomfortable with the notion, and I told him I even feel uncomfortable and awkward talking about sex with him, but he just insisted that all I need is time and "a good nurturing". I told him again that I didn't feel like it but all he said is he'd take the relationship slower but thatt clearly contradicted with what all he said yesterday, always adding sexual innuendos in our conversation like when I sent him a picture of me with a caption"I'm short", he wasn't responding like a normal person talking about heights, he said "I like short girls, they're good for sex" ??????????? what the actual??????? then I told him what I expect from my potential daddy, and I told again that I'm uncomfortable with sexual relationship. Guess what he said?

Because I felt comfortable talking to him (besides the annoying sexual innuendos), I told my reason for wanting a platonic relationship, but guess what he said again? That I just need a "good nurturing" :)

This guy clearly doesn't respect and literally ignore my boundaries it's sickening

And even though at first we're talking about normal things, he did sexually explicit talk.. so I'm 100% sure he's not serious into a DD/lg relationship, he did say that his background he was a Master

 

And then there's another guy, he's the one who ask me how I would "make my daddy happy" if I don't want to have a sexual intercourse.. He's the one I'm talking about on another post (the older guy), after I said that if a couple is comfortable with each other, they'd find another fun activities to have fun together, and he literally said "of course you're uncomfortable, you're a little. Just do what daddy says"...

 

Oh and don't worry you don't sound rude at all

 

From what I read, these guys are just trying to abuse you. You should make clear that you have your boundaries and stop interacting with people who do not respect them.

[Princess-P]

Sex is absolutely not a requirement. Ignore those who tell you its weird or question your reasoning. Why waste even a minute of your time trying to explain something to a brick wall?

 

Because I have a sexual relationship I can't really say how difficult it is to find a non sexual partner. Sex is of course important to many but its just as important for those who are not interested to have their decision respected.

 

Also because your new remember that Even in a CG/l relationship you don't have to be pressured into something because your partner takes on the "Dom" role. For many there isn't even a power exchange.

 

Every relationship is different, there are no guidelines. So don't waste your time or settle for someone who isn't perfect for you. And especially don't rush anything until your confident in what you expect and what can be expected from you.

[Frog]

It's not weird at all. It's just who you are. There's no reason to feel like you need to do anything just because someone else does. Like everyone says, if someone suggests something you don't want, tell him.

 

If he doesn't respect it he's not a daddy. The one that impresses most about DDlg (and all BDSM) us the amount of communication involved. If you have to say no too often, then that person isn't understanding relationships, much less one involving a dom.

 

Edited for autocorrect typos.

Edited March 18, 2017 by Frog

[IchigoHime]

It's not strange! I honestly would love to have a non sexual ddlg relationship. I have only had one ddlg relationship and it was very sexual, but that's just not what I want at this point. It's all about what you are comfortable with.

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

Just because 95% of people are jerks, don't let them ruin the one that's not. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be sexual. The right person will not pressure you for anything, of course unless you ask them too. The right person will understand and care, they will think about your feelings. They will want to make you comfortable. Just be strong, stand behind what you feel is right, and if you feel uncomfortable and pressured then tell them "I'm sorry I don't think your what I'm looking for" and block them if need be.