**Trigger Warning**self harm and daddys disapproval

[Lil_pinkprincess]

So I have a sensitive topic.

Last night, my daddy and I got into an Argument and well I had a bad day yesterday and I had already cut my leg, but I refrained from telling him, I tried to keep calm but I couldn't handle him being mad at me already. I begged him to comfort me after we argued and he refused. I literally felt like I was going to explode.
I ended up cutting my arm as well, and daddy found me crying under the covers with my paci and blanky. He just said I was stupid under his breath and walked out. After a while, I just had to be held, so I apologized and sat on his lap on the couch. He didn't say much but he did rub my back and told me he loved me.

I felt so bad, and anxiety kept me up all night.
I hate it, I hate my scars, I hate how alone I feel when I do it, I hate that I still haven't figured out why I do it. I hate the way my daddy looks at me sometimes.

Edited March 9, 2017 by Daddysmonkey
as discussed

[Princess-P]

I'm not someone who self harms but a few things stand out to me from your post.

 

You mention trying to hide it from your partner. Whatever the reason you had for doing that its not healthy. Your partner should want you to get better but if you hide your illness from them then they can't help you and will cause trust issues in your relationship.

 

While calling you stupid under his breath was mean and you should talk to him about that. Often we say things we don't mean when we are angry or frustrated. And he tried to comfort you after even though it sounds like he was still mad at you. There's clearly some communication issues here.

 

Lastly, I hope your getting help. Hiding this kind of problem is a huge issue and will only make things worse. You need to be seeing a professional and working on this behavior and searching for a cause/solution. If your not already doing this it will almost positively put a strain and probably end your relationship. Being a caregiver is a lot of work, being any kind of partner is a lot of work. Everyone wants to be loved and supported but if your not trying to make thing better it will be too much of a strain on your Daddy and he will feel like he failed you or that he just can't help you.

 

Nothing is fixed over night but you need to talk to him and work with a professional for this behavior.

[DollDirector]

Hello !

 

It seems you are doing it because that's the only way you have found to express yourself. You say you felt like you were going to explode.

 

This is less obvious but it seems he might not be able to communicate either. So I would add to what Princess-P says,that if you think your relation is worth saving,then you have to go see third party help,together.

[Guest]

I agree with Princess-P. Cutting is a form of anxiety disorder. If left untreated it can lead into Bipolar disorders, and even lead into antisocial personality disorders (Pshyopathy/Sociopathy)

 

If its gotten to this point, I strongly recommend telling your pshyician or scheduling an appointment with a mental health expert. Your safety, both pshysically and emotionally should be your partners greatest concern. If he can't comfort you after a arguement, he may not be the best choice for a caregiver. This is not the type of thing to be pushed under the rug, and if he cant support you when your obviously in distress that's also not a good sign. Relationship counseling is probably the best option if you feel close or if the relationship is salvageable. 

 

Best wishes, hope you get better. 

Edited March 9, 2017 by Soldier_777

[Guest Isabelle]

I suggest you get into some therapy, it's really done well with me and my anxiety. I'm not a cutter but I do understand what it feel likes to get so upset/angry/sad you want to do something, and I think your daddy got so upset because he doesn't want you to hurt yourself, he wants to protect you, and its really hard to protect someone from themselves. He might be feeling bad he wasn't able to stop you. Try to move on from this and find some mental health services, and work hard to stop the behavior.

Edited March 9, 2017 by Isabelle

[tayiie]

I myself am in sort of such situation at the moment. Right now I stress and have anxiety about school. Ive harmed myself but havent told my partner about it. Im a little scared to do that because of the reason that I dont know how he would react. Hearing someone tell me im being stupid or neglect me by not trying to comfort me are two triggers that would only make me cut more because I would feel unwanted and probably hate myself because I really dont want to harm myself but its such a relieving feeling that it sort of is worth it. To me your partners behavior is unacceptable. But thats just my opinion.

 

But I would tell you this, try and seek help from a psychiatrist. Ive tried but the health care in my country really is the worst when it comes to these sort of things

They only give you pills and then never follow up. In the beginning it worked for me. Now it doesnt.

 

But try and seek help. Hope you're feeling better

Edited March 9, 2017 by babyfoxalex

[Guest LicklePrincess]

This thread is being locked as the medical advice being given is incorrect and misleading.