Help? D:

[Guest viatorsursum]

So... I'm really new here in this forum, and I was searching for place like that for about... really long time D: I'm a little, but my care giver said they have no nerves to take care of me and they just ignore it when I feel little

we are still in relationship and they says they love me, but get mad really easly, even when I didnt do a thing and Im scared Im bad, and thats because of my bad behaviour, but I was doing everything like They wanted. They often yell at me,doesnt like when I cry and yell more then, and tells bad words, and I dont even know what to do because they just doesnt want to take care of me anymore, but doesn't want to let our relation go. I just wanted to ask what can I do to make everything better?

[Guest Loki]

Anyone who treats you the way you describe isn't a Caregiver! They are an abuser!

 

Be calm. Figure out exactly what you need and what you want. Speak with your Caregiver, and if they refuse to change, it is time to move on.

 

Take time to heal. Emotional wounds are just as bad, and sometimes worse than, physicals. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't hurting!

 

Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, drink lots of water, pick up a new hobby.

 

Reach out and find new friends.

 

In short:

 

DUMP THEIR ASS

 

YOU DESERVE ALL THE GOOD

[Guest QueenJellybean]

I think the answer is pretty clear here that you don't really have a relationship anymore. Regardless of if you are D/s or Cg/l in your relationship with your partner, the way you are being treated isn't okay. Getting mad easily, yelling at you, making you cry, saying bad words, and not wanting to take care of you are all indicators of an unhealthy relationship. The fact that you are scared is a really big deal to me. I think that the only real thing you can do to make it better is stand your ground, tell your partner that if they really loved you like they say that they do, they wouldn't treat you the way that they are, and walk away.

 

Don't ever stay in a relationship because of love that was once there, or the hope that they will stop treating you a certain way. You deserve better.  

[Guest SaladHater]

If everything you said about him not treating you right is true and you're not hiding a very important detail then why in the world would you want to try to make things better with someone like that? If he can't realize that you're trying your hardest to make the relationship work then he's not worth shit. There's better people out there in the world who would never cuss at you and treat you how deserve to be treated maybe even better.

 

Know your worth and don't settle for someone like that. You tried your and that's all that matters (:

[sighing]

Ditch him. If he won't treat you the way you want to be treated, find someone who will.

[Guest viatorsursum]

Thank you all for replies to my post!

Well...I tried to get away and end this when I really couldnt handle it all. They doesnt want me to have any friends and hates all of them and even members of my family. When I tried to get away it was getting worse and worse, and they just come to my house and made big, big argue, telling me its all my fault and they hurt themself because of me, and Im scared they would hurt their body again and come to my house again

[Princess-P]

Completely block them from your life. If they show up, call the police. Don't answer the door. Get a restraining order. If they tell you they are going to hurt themselves then ignore them. Obviously this person is mentally I'll and not Willing to get help so their problem is not your problem.

 

Don't concern yourself with the life of some garbage human who treats you like shit. Why on earth would you ever want to make things better with someone like that?

[Guest viatorsursum]

I wanted to make things better becuseI really started to believe thats its all my fault and I dont know how to stop it

[Himedere-Chan]

I don't want to assume anything here since this discussion is one sided, but from what I'm getting is they are abusive and are using you to relieve their stress which no human should do. They need help, however I think you shouldn't help them, a professional needs to look after them which they should find professional help on their own.

In the end what I feel like what should matter the most to you right now is YOU, go hangout with friends, family, do some hobbies, live your life how you want to.

Hope my opinion helped and that you are okay. 

[Guest QueenJellybean]

I wanted to make things better becuseI really started to believe thats its all my fault and I dont know how to stop it

 

I don't know you very well, but this is a very, very common viewpoint of someone who is being abused or manipulated. It is not your fault. At all. Not even a little tiny bit.

 

The best way to stop it is tell someone other than us about it, someone who you live with or someone you trust. Block him from everything, like was already suggested, and if he keeps showing up, call the police. His actions and behavior are his to own, not yours. Protect yourself, and stay safe. 

[Guest viatorsursum]

I will try to contact Police, but before I tried it and they said they need evidence and I had none other than our messages. My family knows they should not let him in, but they arent always home, and we dont close door often, but I will get myself to work with all of it. Thank you all again!

[Guest Loki]

It is NOT your fault.

 

Learn some Tai-Chi. In its slow form at relaxing, but it is at its core self-defence. It's a martial art that doesn't do harm to you or the attacker.

[Guest x77]

Sounds like he's trying to keep you because he'll be lonely without you and he's being manipulative to make you stay. I've been down this road, you can't let anyone prevent you from seeing friends and family, ever, major red flag. If you break it off with him, stay strong, keep yourself occupied and DO NOT go back to him no matter how much he begs. You can do better - Keep your chin up and above all, keep yourself safe.

[Guest Princessaj]

Hi and thanks for asking us for feedback...

 

I just googled Poland Domestic Violence....

 

There is something really big and potentially bad (my opinion) going on in Poland regarding the laws to protect women against domestic violence and women's rights in general. Poland is potentially seeking to revoke/end the Istanbul Convention, a pact made in 2012 between the leading countries in Europe that was created to end violence against women and girls. Polish women are having massive rallies/marches 2 days ago.

 

Viatorsursum, I didn't know Poland's history and current struggle with the church and being a patriarchal (run by men that think women are of a lesser value) society. I now understand why you said that the Polish police are of little to no help when you call to report domestic violence.

 

Here is the information and contact number for the "Blue Line," Poland's domestic violence helpline.

http://www.pap.pl/en/news-/news,623707,polands-domestic-violence-hotline-now-available-in-english-russian.html

 

Here is a list, in Polish, of resources to help with domestic violence in Poland.

http://www.hotpeachpages.net/europe/index.html#Poland

 

You need support from us and from the people in Poland that can help you physically and mentally get you out of harms way. Hugs.

[Guest viatorsursum]

Again thank you all for anserwing 

Well, yes, in our country police isn't really helpful when it comes to domestic violence or just violence, because its pretty common in here. I will try these numbers, thank you very much!

And yes right now inside our country is a big, big mess because of new politicians in power and we have lots of these marches lately. New Acts brak human rights sometimes, and are inconsistient with UE They even resolve some Acts without society knowing it

[New York Daddy Dom]

This infuriates me wish I could help good luck little one

[Guest viatorsursum]

Thank you,I hope everything will end up good D:

[TeddybearCandyfloss]

I'm trying to impart the most serious tone in this. He's an abuser. If you feel scared of him, and feel as though him treating you poorly is your fault than that is a clear sign of abuse. You deserve to feel like you're a good person and to feel safe.

[Guest Little Bee]

I've been through the same myself. My last relationship was not really a D/s but he was the dominant one in the relationship, AND he was also emotionally abusive. There were a lot of good times (yes, it is not always bad - which makes it hard for you to see the abuse), but there were more of the negative things, like guilt tripping and I'd always felt like everything was my fault and that I'm disgusting for him. I, too, believed that I am causing the ups and downs of the relationship and that really brought my self esteem down and I also felt isolated, he would even always say to me - that it is "normal to have ups and downs in a relationship" (though it honestly just felt like it's only always down). I guess what I'm trying to say is abusers will ALWAYS ALWAYS blame the wrongs on you, even if it is already obvious that they're the one at fault and even if you've already given and opened up yourself/everything to that person, and you should NEVER EVER believe that. I personally know many women who'd been a victim themselves and I've always been cautious about people who are like those because of that, but I was still not able to keep myself safe in that last relationship. But you can walk away (hell, you should even run away) - noticing all these bad things is a start. They should be the one responsible in making their life better, and you can only be accountable for your own life and sanity.

 

You're an amazing person, and the right person/Daddy for you will NEVER make you feel as though you're the worst person in the world AND will only make you feel that you're the most precious person in his life. Lol my message is kind of all over the place, but I want to give you lots of hugs and tons of courage to run away from that kind of a relationship! *huggles*