Lack Of Contact Making Me Seriously Depressed

[KindBabyDaddy]

For the past month my little has been very absent from her Skype and online profiles, for weeks it was a legitimate issue with her being sick. But since then I can barely get her attention for more than 30 minutes a week, she tells me she's just not on Skype as often but it says she's been online for days.

 

I'm certain she still feels something for me as she was really excited to show off her new hair color and the fact we've known each other for two years.

 

Not the first time she's been gone for a longtime, it was two months last fall but largely due to coming out as transgender.

[cuppycakes]

There's 2 options here. Either your relationship is fine, and she's just been busy; or your relationship isn't going as well as you thought it was. Either way I would sit down with her and have a real discussion about where you want to go from here.

 

Personally, I'm VERY hard to talk to on social media because I just don't check it (my phone either haha). And if I happen to be very busy a certain day, I might just forget to talk to my daddy as well (though we try to make a point to talk every night). She could just be really busy or going through some things, or maybe she's avoiding talking to you, or maybe she feels guilty about something, who knows!

 

As of right now, not only is this lack of communication, this sounds like lack of quality communication. Communication is so important in relationships, but it's not just talking to the other person, it's what you talk about. If you feel like you're being pushed aside then your little needs to know that and her primary concern should be making you feel better.

The only exception to this is if something more drastic or immediate is going on in her life right now, but you should be talking about that as well.

 

Really, just give her the whole "we need to talk" thing, and say how you feel. It's not hard to put aside 10 minutes every night before bed to call each other, and if she's a good one, she'll understand.

[SharkPrince]

First of all, I would like to point out that Skype is a program that a) can open itself and start itself when the machine starts, and can run in the background. So even though it says someone is online doesn't mean that they are neccesary active and using it. I myself can have skype open for hours and not notice nor even see messages from people. It's a legitimate issue with many messaging apps that say people are available and online when they might not actually be so if she's said she hasn't been on skype, than maybe trust that she hasn't instead of accusing her for being online for days, like you did in the OP.

 

Going back to the original issue of lack of contact, maybe find some other way of contacting other than skype? If you're in the same country maybe texting, so you can send a good morning and a good night text? My SO and I have a rule that if we're spending the night apart there's always a good morning text and a good night text/call.

 

There may be something going on that she hasn't told you about, have you asked if there's anything going on? I know that for myself, as a trans man, I sometimes pick up on friends using the wrong pronouns because people make mistakes but then I'll just systematicaly distance myself from themselves and not notice I'm doing it. It's also very common for trans people to have depression ro anxiety and sometimes it makes talking scary.

 

There's obviously no way to fix this other than having a talk but make sure you go into the talk calm and don't attack her. Yes you're upset about a lack of quality time and that's understandable but she probably has a reason. Also, now is the time I'm going to probably seem like an asshole and ask you a question. I know personally that if I don't get any contact from someone in a while, or if contact just drops to barely talking, my first point to go to is "oh my god. what's happening? Are they okay and can I help" Now I may be judging becuse I only have the op to go on but you seem to have skipped that and gone to I am hurt, you've upset me. Have you checked in that there's not something youve said or done or that someone else has said or done that's generally upset her and made her withdraw?

 

Once again I am not attacking you but I think checking that's she's healthy and hasn't disappeared because she's upset is a priority