Doesn't want to give me rules..

[Guest Daddy'sShyKitten]

So recently I've brought up rules with my Daddy. At first it was just me suggesting that if he set rules in place, I would follow them. After a while, though, I was explicitly asking for rules. 

 

At first, he didn't know what to do, or what rules to put in place. To give him an idea, I linked him a thread from this site, just to give examples. 

 

I know rules aren't a necessity for a lot of people, they're fine with or without them. But. I need them. Having rules to follow give me this really wonderful and little feeling I can't even explain. 

 

Today he told me that he didn't want to give me rules, and that there was no reason to. I've tried to explain to him that I want rules, but.. 

 

I don't want to constantly keep bringing it up, because I know he'll be angry and annoying with me, but I also can't just drop it. 

 

What do I do? 

[Himedere-Chan]

Tell him what you said on here. You need these rules to feel little and feeling little feels amazing. In the end you both will have to have a talk, whether it be about rules or other things, talking openly helps relationships grow. Like milk for bones. >w<

Best of luck to ya~!

[Guest]

Well you could try to give yourself your own rules even if it's stuff you are already doing.

For example:

*Set a bedtime

*Brushing your teeth in the Mori g and at night

*Taking out the trash

*Doing the dishes

(x amount of days doing this rule, gets x prize, x amount missed gets x punishment)

 

Maybe if you make a rule list of things you wish to focus on, your daddy can help you keep to these rules.

 

I wish you the best!

[BabySwe]

I understand your need for rules, I love them too, so I can definitely relate to the feeling you say they give you... Has he given you a reason for why you shouldn't have rules? If you are good at following them technically all he has to do is set them up, but to me part of the rules are knowing that if I overstep them I'll get punished for it. Maybe he doesn't like the extra responsibility? Some people might feel like it is a lot of pressure to have a little that requires a lot of time and attention, whereas other people love that (nothing wrong with either!). Or is it possible that he doesn't like to punish? If that's the case, you could set up your own punishments and just suggest them to him. Whatever it is, maybe you can get him to explain to you how he feels, and why he's against it. In turn, you can explain your side to him, so you can come to a good solution together ^.^

[Aqu45]

I would just tell him what you told us, explain to him that it helps you feel little and you like them. i think he thinks rules are being overbearing. You two just need to talk is all. Dont feel like youre being annoying, its important to you and its just standard communication. You have a problem with something in the relationship, you talk to him about it and you two come to some sort of agreement/middle ground. If he gets upset about you wanting to talk about than thats a different story 

[cuppycakes]

I really like what Arya said! Partially because it's mostly what me and my daddy do, too. I've never asked him explicitly for rules, but instead I've given myself a set of rules, and then said "can you help make sure I do this please?" so he helps me keep them! I don't call them rules, I just say "my bedtime is at midnight" or "I don't have soda after 9:00" or "can you help me remember to do ___ tonight?" and usually he helps me do it.

[DaddysCuddleBug]

I agree! I would definitely talk to him and be honest about your need for them. Talking openly can help him understand why you need them and it can set a middle ground for the both of you. I would also definitely agree with Arya about making your own rules. Maybe making those rules and following them for yourself will make your Daddy understand how effective they are and how they help you! I hope that helps

[Cuddly Bumblebee]

This and so many other posts makes me think that, is there anymore a real dominance over a subs? Seems like people wants to submit but they got to insist it. I understand suggestions of course and communication about wants and needs in a healthy relationships. But I've seen so many subs saying that their partner who is a dominant one(?), doesn't want to be one. It's like "submissive" ones are more likely the dominant ones. Sounds like your fetish isn't your partners fetish. I know there are different kinds of dynamics in bdsm kind of relationships, but I'm just wondering. How being submissive is working, when you are setting rules for your partner and ordering rules from him to yourself? Don't you feel like you are in charge then? 

 

I just drop my thoughts here.   This wasn't anything personal, but I've seen that these questions are quite common so I'm just wondering. Just curious and confused.

[EllaDawn]

My Daddy isn't interested in setting a lot of rules, nor is He good on follow up, should I break them. It IS a bit frustrating. I am a brat and I tend to push boundaries but sometimes I feel as if I have no boundaries to push and I don't have anything spurring me towards growth either - because rules can often do that. Being pushed can do that.

 

My biggest thing and the one thing He will ever enforce is that I behave myself in public. My behavior reflects on Him as a Dom and a Daddy, so I know better than to really brat or cause mayhem then. I save that for appropriate places. I do wish that at times I had more guidelines or limitations, though.

[PrincessVirgo]

As mentioned previously, some DDs don't care for punishments​. Instead of rules and punishments, you may consider incentives. For ex, I have issues with staying hydrated. If I don't drink my quota, it's a disappointment ​to me cuz I failed... that doesn't make me excited about trying it again tomorrow. However, Disney on Ice is in town soon.... we get to go if I reach my goal 75% of the time. Your Daddy may feel more comfortable helping you set goals and accomplishing them... I don't know if that would meet your need for rules, tho. I wish you the best.