Conflict With What I Am

[MusicChicaMia]

Hi, guys. A few of you know me (or have seen me) on here and probably have noticed I haven't been on here in a while. I have been saying "Oh I've just been busy with my new job!" And it's true, I have been busy with trying to get my life together (basically). But I've also been conflicted on if this is the lifestyle for me.

 

Lately, I've been having to step up and be an actual adult. My parents don't have jobs currently and I'm the only one working. I'm out of my little space a lot lately, sometimes it takes a good couple of weeks before I even feel a little bit Little. I'm surrounded by so many adults lately and I just feel like I have to be big all the time. If I'm not around people who are older than me, I'm around people who are younger than me and they expect me to act older. I'm the kind of person who likes to impress people and their opinions of me do matter to me. 

 

Long story short, I can't find it in myself to be "little", even though I'll try to surround myself with adorable things and stuff that normally makes me feel little. My mind keeps telling me "Oh your interest in DDLG was just a phase then, you're not into." But I'll also start thinking "I do like the idea of someone who cares for me like a parent would." I had to grow up fast and being an only child who's parents were rarely around, I felt I was never given the chance to do the things that kids normally do. 

 

I'm just so conflicted right now. Should I just give up DDLG and come back to it when I feel I'm ready? Or should I just forget about it completely? 

 

I just don't know if I'm a Little anymore, and I guess what I'm asking you all is if any of you have been in this situation and what your experiences with it where/ how did you handle it. 

 

I need help in some form because right now, the ddlg part of my life is just a big "what if"/ "does it really exits?" 

[MisterMomo]

Hi! 

 

I dont think you have to forget about it or even give up. Sometime in life you have to adapt to other situations and get distracted.. 

 

I like Skiing... I have all the equipment.. but I did not go skiing for more than 2 years now..  I wont give up skiing or Forget about it .. NEither should you for something fun that you can like ..  

 

Maybe you dont have time or the right energy to deal with DDLG right now.. (or any couple relationship I guess) ... Mostly you are buzy and it is okay. 

 

You will figure it out with time and then you will know. 

 

You are the only one that can really figure out the answer.. but maybe you can just hae fun right now while doing what you do... and you'll see where you go after. 

 

...

[Mikaitaku]

There is no right or wrong way to be little, everything that I have ever read or observed points to that. Sometimes life gets complicated and chaotic, and you don't have the time or energy to do things you once loved, you just have to take your time and when things settle down they settle down.

[BigCityLittleGirl]

Being a little doesn't mean you don't have an adult life with adult responsibilities. Like myself, many of us work quite a lot. I'm stressed as hell with my adult life and can only truly be a little on weekends when I see my daddy if he is even available. You're a little in your heart, regardless if you are able to act it out. Don't worry gun, you will soon find time for yourself! Even taking a bubble bath with a rubber ducky can be your small escape. Most of us don't have the luxury of living the little life all the time. Stay true to you girl

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

It's a mindset. You don't wear your mindset on the outside, people can't read your thought patterns. It's not how you look or how people perceive you that make you yourself, or Little. It's how you feel inside and perceive the world.

 

I'm always in my childish ways, yet I still have to go about my adult life. Going to work sucks, having to pay bills is a drag, but that's life, and who hasn't played pretend grown ups? Like I said, it's a mindset. So you have resoponsibilites, now you have a reason to have cute journals, charts, agendas, calendars, etc to help keep you on track. Tell yourself your playing a game when you have to work. Don't like the "adult world" get you down. Sometimes you just have to "put your big girl panties on" as my mother would say but that doesn't mean you can't still have fun or treat yourself in small ways. Instead of being upset and let reality bring you down, look for the sliver lining. There is sliver lining in everything, sometimes its just very small and depends on your point of view. Have a sucker after work. Get a tasty coffee, hot coco, milk shake every paycheck. Or candy bar, small toy, whatever you like what is a couple dollars. Watching cartoons(or whatever you like) when you get home. Counting work as a chore, calling work a chore. Cause work is the same thing as chores but chores sound more Little friendly.

 

Even if you have to wear a suit and tie, sit at a desk, fake smiles and make people like your company. No one can tell how your thinking and behaving on the inside, or that you have super cute socks or underwear on. Just because your an adult and have to do adult things doesn't mean you can't comfort yourself.