story feedback?

[Guest Ginger]

I kinda data dumped a story today... It's up on my wattpad account here, http://my.w.tt/UiNb/P1gKBfdj8A

 

I know it's going to be ddlg related (non sexual) as well as fantasy based. Haven't quite decided on everything else... It's unedited and probably riddled with issues.. But any helpful tips you guys can give, I'd be greatly appreciative! I marked it mature for language.

 

I just realized that the main male protagonist is named Jake... He'll be a werewolf. Ugh I might change his name now, I like it but not the connection to twilight I just made... Grrrr