Daddy's Selfish?

[BabyGirlInTraining]

So I'm new at all of this, I'm still only in about week two. But something doesn't sit right with me, and I'm unsure if it's acceptable and I'm being weird or if it's not that great at all.

 

I feel super shitty today, and I did yesterday as well. I have a bad cold, I'm on my period, and my body is sore from falling down a flight of stairs. Anyway. Today, my daddy dom woke me up and told me I had to drive him to work today (even though he takes the bus usually) and make him tea. I asked him if it was absolutely necessary because I'm sore/have a headache/stomach pains/generally just feel really shitty and he said I was being disrespectful and in order to avoid the punishment, I got up and did what he asked. But he does things like this all the time. Can't say no to sex or sexual things (or I can, but he decides whether or not my reason to say no is acceptable). Last night, he had me blow him, despite the fact that I couldn't breathe through my nose. Do you know how hard it is to breathe through your mouth during a blowjob? I don't mean to sound like a horrible little by saying all of this, but I'm new and I guess I just wanna know if this is normal and what advice you guys have for a beginner.

[Child Of Light]

It sounds like your not OKay with a few of the situations that are going on (and that's OKay not to be). I'd propose you use your 'safe word' and re-adjust boundaries. If you aren't comfortable with something-- you need to express that. You are NOT a horrible little for not wanting to tolerate certain things. Everyone is different and we all have different needs. You should feel comfortable and safe with all the dynamic and if you don't -- that's problematic. For me, I would feel highly disrespected in the above situation and would feel more like M/s than DDLG (which I don't like >.< ). For someone in M/s they wouldn't feel disrespected: because they consented towards that type of dynamic. For me, I haven't.. and it would feel like they've pushed the boundaries too far for me. It works for some people-- just not for me. 

Edited February 21, 2017 by Child Of Light

[Guest PastelRosePrincess]

Is this acceptable to you? People will have their opinions and most will sway towards the "no" side of things I'm sure but this is your life. It seems like your Daddy likes a more harsh approach which when done with a consenting little is all well and good. So I revert back to my original point. Is this acceptable to you?

 

Please have a good long hard think about this and ask yourself is this the level of control you want to have in your dynamic. Some littles enjoy a rather mean Daddy and others don't. Both are valid and both should be respected. I hope you do whats right for you <3

[Daddy's Meg]

Time to reevaluate. 

 

Call a time out on your dynamic and have a Big/Equal conversation. As you are new, you're learning what you do and don't like. Tell your DD exactly what you didn't like about it and why. You'll have to come to a compromise as to what is acceptable and what is not. Redefine the rules you're just starting to create so it doesn't happen again. Remember that even if you're a little (or sub, or w/e) You're still actual an adult and you have the right to be comfortable in your chosen dynamic.

 

Like those above said, everyone has their own preference on level of control, behavior, etc. Clearly what he's asking of you is a bit much right now. I wouldn't like it either, so don't feel bad. I am a sub and a little, but my Daddy understands when I *can't* do things and doesn't even ask for them. EX: When sick, I'm not expected to do anything sexual. We've communicated our way to things working so we're both happy. It came with time. Talk it out in a safe equal space and I'm sure if he's a good DD you'll both find a comfortable compromise.

[Guest Princessaj]

Sorry to hear of your difficulty. I like the suggestion of putting your relationship on "pause."

 

One of the things that we don't know is how much experience your Daddy has at being a Daddy Dom. Sometimes people without really good SOLID relationship experience and study of themselves and DDlg try things out to their satisfaction first only wanting what they want and don't consider the other. Him "trying" out being a DD with you is a one way street like it is now. What most new and some experienced and selfish Daddies don't know is that the little is really in charge. If you are both new, then you can both REALLY study TOGETHER.

 

I suggest that you need to study DDlg. This site is the perfect place to be. You can search for many things.

 

I did a search for "rules" in the main page search box that looks in all the categories and found this link about "rules" that started on 4-27-15 and has kept going. That means that "rules" are a very important topic and lots of people have shared what their personal rules are. Not only will you be able to see what are the most common "rules" that keep coming up over and over, but also the "rules" that you may not have thought of.

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2210-what-are-your-rules/?hl=rules

 

I suggest that you prepare yourself completely with your own set of "rules" before talking about them with your Daddy. Being educated on your DDlg and in real life needs, wants and desires is vital. If you don't know this already, your "rules" have to be completely agreed to by both of you equally. Nothing should go on that you don't want to do or have done to you and have not agreed to. Also, the two of you can add, subtract any of the rules at anytime as long as you are happy and you do it together.

 

It also sounds like your Daddy is quite strict, demanding and dominant. Perhaps he is wanting more of a BDSM kind of relationship, where he treats you as his submissive/slave. Being or not being a submissive/slave is your choice. You should also study BDSM to be able to identify the things and ways that have been happening to know more about it.

 

It's OK to have a list of things you want in a DD and make certain you get them. If you are not being treated to your satisfaction, move on and get to know yourself and DDlg better before getting into a relationship. You can be a little all the time on your own if you wish and you are still a little. Friends first always works best.

 

I wish you a very long happy DDlg experience, with or without a Daddy. Hugs

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

His behaviour is unacceptable.

Daddies are meant to take care of you and your hurties first.

Otherwise, are they really Daddies at all?

[Princess-P]

Some littles enjoy giving up that Mich control. However a proper Dominant will know when to care for their little/sub. If he's not respecting you then he's not doing it right and he's being selfish and using the dynamic in order to make you feel less than him.