@ all the Daddys / caregivers

[Guest ASerpent]

Hi,

I was wondering if you could give me any advice about how to express being submissive in a stronger way. What would you appreciate as a Daddy? What actions would really show a Daddy / caregiver that the little is submissive?

[Guest Appacheian]

Talk,talk,talk. I've always appreciated my little explaining her feelings and as her daddy I have a responsibility to make her feel she can tell me anything. In the end, the control, dominance and submissiveness will have to be decided between the two of you. There's no guarantees that his dominance and your submission match the levels you both require. You can't make someone be who they are not.

[Guest ASerpent]

>>You can't make someone be who they are not.<<

 

That's not my intention at all. It is more about offering submission and what I could actually do to show submission.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

Dominence and submission are so subjective to each individual couple its hard to say, oh do this one thing or do that. But like everyone says, communicating a ton is the best way to start. Just casually talking about what you love the most will make him more comfortable pushing your boundries. A really good D/s dynamic takes alot of time, trust and communication to build so you must be patient. He is probably still fuguring his own self out, as well as trying to figure out what is best for you, so try to be patient.

 

If you are talking about D/s in just every day life and regular things, i love it when my little asks permission for normal things. Like "Daddy can i have a soda, or should i drink water?" Then even if you really want a soda, dont argue and whine, do as he says, maybe answer him with a submissive phrase.

 

If youre talking about sexual Dominence and submission, and ill try to keep it PG-13 here, maybe show him a pic of your panty drawer and ask him to pick out your panties for the day. And you can certainly take that as far as youre comfortable with, whether you show him them on or not, and stuff. If you want really hard sexual dominence, maybe take his hand during sex, and put it around your throat, he might not be 100% comfortable with that kind of rough play, but that could be an action that encourages more rough stuff, if thats what youd like.

 

Just try to remember, D/s relationships are a wonderful journey, that you two are on together, sometimes, its about the journey and not the destination. Allow him to take the lead, but help guide him along the way, by doing your best to express the direction youd like to go in.

[Guest ASerpent]

Thank you for your answer I totally agree with you, that every relationship is different. I know we will have to talk things out later, but at the moment everything is just new and a lot about trying things out. So I was wondering, how to express submission in every day life.

 

>> If you are talking about D/s in just every day life and regular things, i love it when my little asks permission for normal things. Like "Daddy can i have a soda, or should i drink water?" Then even if you really want a soda, dont argue and whine, do as he says, maybe answer him with a submissive phrase. <<

 

This is a really good suggestion, thanx. I think something like that might encourage his self esteem. I will try things like that.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

I have thoughts like these, what a good question and interesting replies!

[mylittlesidewearsblack]

Try not to fight when given an answer, and don't ask for advice if you already know what you want. These are what i work on the most. You can also do things like thinking of him first. Ex: if i feel thirsty, i ask Daddy if He wants a drink or snacks. If i want a shower or bath, i ask Daddy if He needs the restroom before i go in. Little things add up to big things.

[Daddy's Meg]

I thought I'd give a couple examples on what works for us. That combines mylittle/middle and submission comfortably.

 

I greet him at the door whenever he comes home on my knees. This is a great way to get extra pets anyway! Lol

 

I always ask permission before having food or using anything that belongs to him. I know him well enough he won't care but I consider it a way of respecting him. Also as a little it's polite to ask! He'll usually set me up with the item (like Xbox) or make me the snippy bottle of water, etc.

 

I stand back a couple feet when he is talking to people in public and keep my mouth shut. I don't invite myself into conversation unless invited. Kids are to be seen, not heard. I was always shy as a kid anyway.

 

I don't usually leave the sidewalk until he has taken my hand and taken the lead. Never cross the street alone. He's the leader.

 

I try to meet his needs are they come daily. Sometimes his knees bother him and needs me to fetch things for him. Sometimes he wants to just stay at home and I ask to do things on my own. I was always a helpful kid, it hasn't changed as I've gotten older. I just put him first in my mind and at the same time (in a Daddy way) he does the same.

 

Practice makes perfect.

[Guest Isabelle]

Just reading this and saw she's daddy's say "Kids are to be seen, not heard." As a teacher I can say this opposite of this is true, of course we have our own opinions, but why did you have kids unless you wanted to interact with them? There is tons of psychological and medical studies shown to disprove that statement. Doesn't mean a child has to speak or should be or shouldn't speak, it's better to let a child be themself and encourage their own exploration of life. Again cultures and people are different with lots of opinions, but my opinion and education and 12 years with kids has had a big focus on allowing children to find their own personalities and be a part of the conversation/situation in their own abilities not be pushed to the side to be seen only. I was one of those kids, and believe me I've spent years in therapy in part because I wasn't allowed to speak. When I was I was punished. I've lived a life not being able to stand up for myself, was bullied, manipulated, the list goes on for me. It's taken years to straighten out my adult mind to understand all of that shouldn't have happened, in large part if I had been listened to/allowed to speak, and believed. If you want to be seen and not heard that's fine, but make sure if you do want to speak sometimes, make sure your Daddy doesn't punish you for that (of course this can depend on situations, I'm speaking generally).

 

ASerpent, you can always ask your Daddy what he would find submissive, have you tried that? Feeling dominant/submissive often is individual, he might have some ideas or wishes. Depends I think too as others have stated how far you want to go, are you degrading slave type submissive who wants to be slapped and call your Daddy master, or are you more of a softer submissive like me? My way of giving submission to my future Daddy will focus mainly I think of his being in charge of me, like opening my soda, me asking him what's okay or not even in small ways (can I have gum, do I have to eat this? can I go to this place, can I buy this stuffie, what picture should I color, which book do you want to read to me). If you think of a real father/daughter biological relationship that could give you some ideas of the softer side/caregiver role type. Is it okay to go to a friend's house, help me with my homework, I can't do this will you fix it/help me/show me (even if you know how). Asking for help if you get into an argument with a friend, or get into trouble in some other kind of way and need advice or to be led into the right direction. Other ways are doing things for him, asking what he wants you to do (does he want slippers when he comes home or a soda?), saying I cleaned the house just for you Daddy, or let me cook dinner you worked hard today. Let him drive, let him pay, let him defer who chooses the location for a date. I found some Daddy's love to let their little choose, as long as their little asks Daddy first. Really in any situation you find yourself, waiting to be told what Daddy wants you to do is submissive, if you spend more time perhaps thinking in each situation for the next few weeks how can I make myself submissive now you might surprise yourself. Don't forget some daddys like a bit of a spunk/brat attitude from time to time to 'punish' or 'correct' their little, which is a huge part of D/s in my opinion. So whining if he says no, pouting, not doing a chore, are all ways for him to take the lead and dole out the pre-agreed punishment. If everything runs smoothly with rules on your end, I think you might lose some of the dom/sub you're after. That of course also depends on how much punishment you and your Daddy go for, so it might not apply for you. Explore things with your Daddy and try new things out, I think if you can sit down and write out a paragraph or a page of what you find submissive, once you can define that word for yourself it might give you a lot of new things to try. If you're into the more degrading type of submission I wouldn't be the one to ask I'm new to this too but a big help to you would be to find out what your Daddy finds submissive or ways he says he wants to be dominant over you.

Edited February 11, 2017 by Isabelle

[Daddy's Meg]

Just reading this and saw she's daddy's say "Kids are to be seen, not heard."

Just using it as an easy way to explain my mind set. Not a guide for actual child rearing. It's very comfortable for me rather than some kind of demand.

[Guest Isabelle]

Okay

[Joe]

In my opinion, submission is shown by questions and asking for approval. Just giving evidence that you want him to lead.