Afraid to tell him

[princesspixie]

Early on in my relationship with my boyfriend, we discussed what we were into, if we had kinks, fetishes, as well as the stuff we didn't like, etc... I didn't know much about DDlg and stuff at the time, and told him I didn't like it (having very limited knowledge of it) and the whole daddy stuff. I thought it was weird or gross then.

 

But a lot has changed in my life since then, and our relationship has developed sort of similar dynamics now to DDlg. He seems to really like when i'm in little space and it seems to make him quite happy (though i haven't told him anything about it being that). I'm afraid to tell him i'm into DDlg after telling him previously that i thought it was weird and gross. Just awkward to bring up... I think he'd be a good daddy, if he wanted to be though ... Though wonder if it's really necessary to tell him or label things.

 

 

[Mezgoezrawrz]

Of course labels aren't a necessary thing for any relationship! On the other hand, I did the same thing with my partner. When it was first brought up we both agree'd that calling him Daddy or anything as such was just weird and uncomfortable. I still feel that way and likely always will, but I didn't even call my actual Dad, "Daddy". It's just weird for me. 

 

Anyway, it wasn't hard to explain the dynamics of DDlg to him and to inform him that I enjoy the lifestyle just not the title. I don't know if it's the exact same thing for you, but either way you can simply explain that there are certain parts of DDlg that you do enjoy.

[HeCallsMePrincess]

labels arent necessary. but if it's really bugging you, you should talk to him. it sounds like he enjoys aspects of it and he might react more positively than you think. and dont worry so much about what you said about it before, explain to him that you didnt understand it before

[Frog]

This may be a stupid question... When you originally said you thought it was weird and gross, what was his reaction? Did he say he agreed? 

 

The reason I ask is this. It's no problem you changed your mind, since we're human and we change over time anyway. But if he never said he agreed it was gross, he may not be against the idea. Like HCMP said before me, if it's bugging you, talk to him. This sounds like it is. In any relationship, communication is key. What I'd suggest in addition to the others' suggestions is get into big space, and tell him it's awkward for you to talk about it. From what you said, he seems he'd be a good daddy and likes your little space. It sounds like he'd be understanding if you tell him it's hard to talk about it. 

 

Also, I would suggest telling him early on that you think he's already being a good daddy. Start off on a good note. Every person needs to be told they're doing a good job and it may get him in a good mood when you start.

Edited February 8, 2017 by Frog

[alotalittle]

As the others said, there's no reason for labels unless you feel there is. There's many parts of myself that I give labels to only because other people require it, but if it were simply up to me, I wouldn't label it for myself. Don't feel pressure to label anything within your relationship that you don't want to.

 

It's completely normal for your wants/needs/desires to change over time. This is a part of the human experience that we all deal with in many different ways. You used to not like the idea of DDlg, and now you do. This may change many times throughout your life and there's nothing wrong with that. I agree with Frog in that it's important to know if he was also grossed out by the concept of DDlg when you spoke of it early on, or if he was indifferent to it, or whatever his feelings were towards it. That'll give you some indication of how to approach the conversation.

 

I would start off simply stating your own feelings about little space and how you experience it. If you make it about you and a headspace that you get into, I think it relieves pressure off of him to take on a "daddy" role for you. Since he already likes you when you feel little, I don't think that will change just because you tell him that's your little space. Maybe he wants to take on a CG role, and maybe he doesn't. But I don't see any reason why he can't continue enjoying your little space and you can't keep exploring your little space.

[DaddysMonkey]

Hello there ! 

 

I am curious about the same thing Frog is.. Did he reveal he felt the same way as you when it was first brought up ? Could you sense any disgust from his demeanor?

 

I believe that strong couples are built on communication and fairness. Personally , my advice would be to have an open discussion with him about how you are feeling and what you think about this topic now. You say he seems to enjoy your little space , I would take this as a good sign and just take the leap and have a discussion , although I am generally a very forward person so this tactic might not be for you. If you are nervous and have anxiety about it having such a straight forward talk , maybe you could leave ittle hints here and there. Do you have a tumblr or social media profile he follows? Maybe slowly put up some DD/lg stuff and see if he asks any questions. 

 

I think labels are so over rated and so unimportant , BUT they do however make life easier for seeing a select group of people you would like to discuss or talk with.. for example Dd/lg , or ABDL are very different in my opinion even though they have massive similarities. You might be more comfortable in the "Dd/lg group" so having that label can help steer you in the direction of specific interactions you are willing to have in this "world" of DD/lg. Just like some of us age play , egress , use binkies , have littlespace , others do not. Labels are stupid and we are all human but for some people who are concerned with what other people like and do.. they help I suppose ^-^

 

Hope this helps !