ex-daddy wants to be my little boy

[moodylittlecloud]

Backstoryyyyy: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years, he introduced me to dd/lg (less than a year ago) and I loved it, that's how I discovered I was a little. A few months ago he said he didn't want to be my daddy anymore because he wanted a girlfriend, not a daughter (ouch but noted). I've been finding it really really hard to cope.

 

So my boyfriend/ex-daddy and I were talking and he said he liked calling me mommy and he wanted to try being little again (we tried it once before but I got really upset because I wanted my daddy). He doesn't know if he still likes being little so I said we could try it out this weekend and if everything went well and he liked it he could be my little boy. The only problem is I'm super scared of getting upset. Sometimes I can't even come on here because I get really upset because I miss being his little girl. It's not that I don't want to be his mommy or that I don't like little him because he is the sweetest little boy ever... it's more that I don't know how I will cope being his mommy/watching him be little when I can't be little around him and in a sense, he's made me feel ashamed of that part of myself. Even though I do want to be his mommy, I am primarily (80% of the time) a little girl, what if I can't give that to him as much as he would want it? I'm just really scared.

Any advice?

[Guest BabyBubbles(^w^)]

Hii ^^

 

Okay i'm gonna be straight with you and I don't intend to cause any offense But tbh to me it sounds like you both want different things. You can't both be little and in my opinion i find it very hypocritical of him to first tell you he wants a girlfriend not a daughter (after he introduced you to ddlg) and then come back saying he wants you to be his mommy… maybe when he first introduced you to it he had hoped that you'd be his mommy and not him be your daddy…? Idk… you probably don't want this advice but the best i can give you is to tell him that what he's doing isn't fair and that you teo just want different things. And then you guys need to take it from there. Whether you end up deciding you'll look vir different bigs (both of you) or if one of you will bite the bullet and take on the Dom role… it all depends on how much you love each other. If you really really love each other, or if you just love the idea of ddlg with each other… but you guys have to determine that yourselfs and make an informed decision based on that

[cuppycakes]

While I agree with baby bubbles, I also think that you still have the option of being switches. In your case it probably isn't ideal, but if you really want to be his little, and he really wants you to be his mommy, then you need to compromise.

 

However, he is being very hypocritical and if his actions are making you feel as upset as you day they are, then this should have already been discussed months ago. Communication is important, and so is compromise.

[alotalittle]

I agree with the above responses, but figured I'd chime in since I'm a switch and am in a relationship with a switch.

 

My partner and I introduced ddlg into our relationship with me being the little and him being the daddy. We stayed that way for about 1 1/2 years. Our relationship went through some major turbulence at that time and, ultimately, we had to do some rearranging in our relationship. I had become WAY too dependent on him as a little and was losing my ability to function as an adult (and there were tons of other problems on both sides). So in some ways, he also communicated to me that he needed another functional adult (keep in mind, he never said it in terms of the ddlg aspect of our relationship, so I do think that was harsh of your partner to do that do you and then later express that he wanted to be little).

 

My partner doesn't have a little side, but he does have a submissive and a feminine side. I've gone above and beyond to embrace and enjoy those sides of him, and if you want to keep your relationship going, you'll need to do the same for your partner. Your partner has a little/submissive side that obviously needs tended to and he wants you to do so. HOWEVER, your little/submissive side needs tended to as well and you cannot be expected to never have that part of you embraced by him every again. 

 

The trickiest part of this whole thing is, if it turns out that you both are exclusively submissives, it might not be possible to make it work. Some people can get around that by opening their relationship, but that's not possible for all people. It's up to the two of you to communicate openly and honestly about what your needs are and how they can be met. It may takes months to get through some heavy discussions and trials/errors on exploring your dom/sub sides together before you figure out what works or if anything can work in the long term. This, most likely, won't be easy for either of you. I have found that having real open, honest discussion is rarely easy for me or my partner when it comes to highly personal things. It took us over six months to find any sort of a balance (and that was after we discovered that we were, in fact, both switches). We still have to discuss and work towards balance to make sure everyone needs are being met. These discussions will never end because we are all ever-changing humans.

 

In short, I suggest that you have more conversations with him about both of your wants/needs. Try to find a comfortable/happy compromise for both of you if possible. If it turns out that neither of you can successfully have your needs met by the other (and vice versa), then separating is inevitable, but at least you'll both know that you tried your very best to make it work with someone that you care about.

[moodylittlecloud]

I agree with the above responses, but figured I'd chime in since I'm a switch and am in a relationship with a switch.

 

My partner and I introduced ddlg into our relationship with me being the little and him being the daddy. We stayed that way for about 1 1/2 years. Our relationship went through some major turbulence at that time and, ultimately, we had to do some rearranging in our relationship. I had become WAY too dependent on him as a little and was losing my ability to function as an adult (and there were tons of other problems on both sides). So in some ways, he also communicated to me that he needed another functional adult (keep in mind, he never said it in terms of the ddlg aspect of our relationship, so I do think that was harsh of your partner to do that do you and then later express that he wanted to be little).

 

My partner doesn't have a little side, but he does have a submissive and a feminine side. I've gone above and beyond to embrace and enjoy those sides of him, and if you want to keep your relationship going, you'll need to do the same for your partner. Your partner has a little/submissive side that obviously needs tended to and he wants you to do so. HOWEVER, your little/submissive side needs tended to as well and you cannot be expected to never have that part of you embraced by him every again. 

 

The trickiest part of this whole thing is, if it turns out that you both are exclusively submissives, it might not be possible to make it work. Some people can get around that by opening their relationship, but that's not possible for all people. It's up to the two of you to communicate openly and honestly about what your needs are and how they can be met. It may takes months to get through some heavy discussions and trials/errors on exploring your dom/sub sides together before you figure out what works or if anything can work in the long term. This, most likely, won't be easy for either of you. I have found that having real open, honest discussion is rarely easy for me or my partner when it comes to highly personal things. It took us over six months to find any sort of a balance (and that was after we discovered that we were, in fact, both switches). We still have to discuss and work towards balance to make sure everyone needs are being met. These discussions will never end because we are all ever-changing humans.

 

In short, I suggest that you have more conversations with him about both of your wants/needs. Try to find a comfortable/happy compromise for both of you if possible. If it turns out that neither of you can successfully have your needs met by the other (and vice versa), then separating is inevitable, but at least you'll both know that you tried your very best to make it work with someone that you care about.

 

 

While I agree with baby bubbles, I also think that you still have the option of being switches. In your case it probably isn't ideal, but if you really want to be his little, and he really wants you to be his mommy, then you need to compromise.

 

However, he is being very hypocritical and if his actions are making you feel as upset as you day they are, then this should have already been discussed months ago. Communication is important, and so is compromise.

 

 

Hii ^^

 

Okay i'm gonna be straight with you and I don't intend to cause any offense But tbh to me it sounds like you both want different things. You can't both be little and in my opinion i find it very hypocritical of him to first tell you he wants a girlfriend not a daughter (after he introduced you to ddlg) and then come back saying he wants you to be his mommy… maybe when he first introduced you to it he had hoped that you'd be his mommy and not him be your daddy…? Idk… you probably don't want this advice but the best i can give you is to tell him that what he's doing isn't fair and that you teo just want different things. And then you guys need to take it from there. Whether you end up deciding you'll look vir different bigs (both of you) or if one of you will bite the bullet and take on the Dom role… it all depends on how much you love each other. If you really really love each other, or if you just love the idea of ddlg with each other… but you guys have to determine that yourselfs and make an informed decision based on that

Hi guys! I'm really thankful for all your input. I just wanted to add in that he said he wants to call me mommy but he is unsure if it's a little thing. Also, he is a dominant and a submissive, I am a submissive. While I love little him I am not a dominant. Sometimes I can be, but it's more that I want him to have his submissive side too.

[jellicle baby]

also, if I may make a correction, he already had a girlfriend when he had a little. DD/LG is NOT incestuous nor is it a roleplay thereof. He didn't have a "daughter," he had a little. A girlfriend in a dynamic based on trust and support and guidance. It was disrespectful the way he broke up with you, because he misrepresented the intentions of DDLG, and if he taught you this dynamic in a way that is being a "daughter," he doesn't understand it. I know that many people are into a father/daughter roleplay, but it's not DDLG. Edited February 23, 2017 by ducky