Ever been confused ?

[DaddysMonkey]

Hello everyone ! ^-^

 

My Daddy and I recently had an interesting conversation , and it makes me wonder if any Daddys have had similar feelings or situations happen.

 

We were discussing how we found Dd/lg together , reminiscing about our past and what not. One thing that always comes up as a silly topic is when he wanted to try being a submissive. This happened before we got into Dd/lg , and was towards the beginning of our relationship. Not that trying new things is silly , the situation itself was silly. We were being intimate while trying the new experiment , and he stopped it right in the beginning. "NOPE DON'T LIKE IT THIS ISN'T FOR ME." 

 

I never really understood why he wanted to try being a switch/submissive , because to me it was clear he had a natural dominate demeanor. It wasn't for me to understand though , I believe it is only fair to try things if it is not on your hard no list. 

 

While we were discussing this silly memory together , I asked him what made him want to try switching or being a sub.. his answer flat out blew my mind. 

 

While we were experimenting in the start of our relationship , we hadn't discovered Dd/lg yet. Daddy always had a very caring and mentor-ish attitude towards our relationship. He liked to cook for me now and then , he loves doing sweet things for me in ways he thought Doms normally do not. He was having "Daddy" or Caregiver tendencies , and he felt like his need and want to "baby" me and take care of me made him a switch/sub. This had never occurred to me even after finding Dd/lg , that his confusion could've been caused by not knowing "what" he was or that there was something like us out there.

 

I just thought this was really interesting , and am curious to Daddys and Caregivers :

 

Have you ever felt like you were a submissive or switch because of similar type feelings ? How thin is the line between feeling like a switch and like an extremely caring Daddy ?

 

Thank you for reading ^-^ 

Edited February 2, 2017 by Daddysmonkey

[Guest Appacheian]

Interesting. In my early days when life was muddy waters and I'd conformed so far to the vanilla life I was unsure who or what I was, where my happiness lay and my true identity. My little was ,at that time,a secret submissive and always felt it was her true path or at least as she later found, that path led to her true happiness as a little. Sorry I'm digressing. When she first met me we were both living vanilla lives and she sensed in me i was really a dominant and she started to be her submissive to me. I found that very confusing at the time, she was bringing the truth out of me and I didn't realise it. As I discovered and researched more and more I felt I also had a switch side as though my identitiy wasn't fully formed. Of course being a switch is fine too, but eventually my dominate side became more profound over anything else and now we've both moved on to where we are now as a daddy and little and we are so happy together.

[James.]

I actually thought about creating a topic about this very thing. When you dive into it, everything comes down to psychology. It is very rare that something is inherently a dominant or submissive act. This is entirely based on the mindset of the individual and what behavior they are acting upon.

 

If we look at your examples: cooking, taking care of someone, doing sweet things, etc. these can very easily be both dominant or submissive, depending on the mindset of the person. I have seen more than one case where a little has asked if it would be "wrong" to sometimes take care of her Daddy. She has an innate desire to do these kinds of things, but believes that they are exclusive to the role of the Daddy dom. In reality, it is all a matter of the individual's psychology. A submissive who looks to please her dom may do this through cooking, cleaning, and other acts of service. Doing these things make her feel submissive, and the manner by which she does them makes it so. At the same time, the Dom can commit the exact same acts, but coming from a place of dominance. It is a means of taking care of the submissive. In the same way that a Parent is not submitting to their child by making her soup when she is sick, A dom is not submitting to his sub by taking care of her. In any power exchange, the dominant partner has a responsibility to look after the well being of the submissive. These acts would come from a place of guidance, nurture, protectiveness, etc. Even in the case of a Master/slave relationship, the Master will look to take great care of his "property."

 

 This is also applies to sex as well. For example, it is very common in femdom, for the sub to "worship" the domme's feet. It is a degrading and humiliating act. On the flip side, you could have a Dom who just really likes feet. Perhaps he uses his sub's feet in the sense that "all of her belongs to him." In a case such as this, it would be the submissive, whose feet are being "used," who feels degraded/humiliated. These are 2 extremes based around the same concept/fetish. The difference is how it is framed, and the way the behavior is manifested. It all comes down to how both parties feel. If the Dominant feels dominant in the act, then that is what it becomes. The same thing applies to submissive behavior. In the end, it's all psychology.

Edited February 2, 2017 by DaddyJames98

[shadowrider]

As for me ever feeling like a submissive or switch the answer would be no, I never have. 

 

The longer I am here the more time I take to reflect inward and I have become even more sure of the path of my journey. I have this site and the amazing people I have met here to thank for that and for the love and support you all have shown me. But I too digress. Now for my tangent filled response.

 

 I have thought back all the way to middle school and come to realize even that far back I was either a caregiver or a daddy figure of some sort to everyone around me. Any time a friend had a break up either they or their girlfriend would call or come cry on my shoulder and I would help them through it. Anytime they needed anything they would call on me because they knew I would take care of whatever the situation was. I spent most of high school holding the broken pieces of the ones around me and that just helped form me into who I am today.

 When my mother passed away I took care of the arrangements for the service so my father didn't have too. Was I being submissive to his will, no, I was being dominant and taking over so he could grieve the loss of his love. I knew I could grieve later, he could not. When he passed I handled the entire thing so my brother could grieve. Again I took control of a situation so the ones around me could let go of control and do what they needed to do. It is basically who I am. To some around me since I am surrounded by "manly" men it may seem that being so caring is a sign of weakness. But I wear the badge of caregiver/dd with pride. It is who I am and I couldn't change it if I wanted to.

 A dominant is one of the most caring individuals I know of. I know men who are truly big brawny tough SOBs., but when their wives are sick they are the most loving men you would ever meet. Are they into the lifestyle, don't know, never asked. Are they capable of dominance, surely. Regardless, they know that the primary job of the alpha in any partnership or group or tribe is the well being of the one or ones that he/she cares for. Dominance is the art of submitting yourself to the fact that your significant other always comes first. No matter what. Your well being is inconsequential until you know they are safe and cared for. Yes you may give them instructions or tasks or orders, but don't ever forget, the dominant only has the power that the submissive gives them willingly. 

 The line between dominance and submission is as DaddyJames98 put it, psychological. It's all about your personal mindset. If caring for someone makes you feel submissive then embrace that feeling. If caring for your partner makes you feel 10 feet tall and bullet proof then embrace it. When it is all said and done, only you know what you are and what you feel. 

[Frog]

I was trying to think of a good reply, but James said a lot of what I was thinking. And I can see where your daddy is coming from, Monkey. For me, taking care of a little or really anyone would include cooking for them. No offense to anyone, but I definitely cook better than most people I know personally. And besides, if your little one isn't feeling well, wouldn't a good daddy make them soup? But my dom side would come out because I don't like most people to mess around with my pantry and cabinets. 

 

I've never really considered being a submissive, but I can understand why anyone would try it out. My first real experience with D/s was when I had a friend who was a dominatrix. She was a former sub herself, and she always wanted me to try out being sub for her. We were really good friends (she even said she wanted to design a dungeon for me) and for some reason she really wanted to. But it just seemed... I don't know... out of place for me.