Feeling bitchy ?

[DaddysMonkey]

Hello everyone. 

 

I have this weird feeling today. I've got plenty going on in my own life , so when little awkward things throw me off they REALLY throw me off. I'm not even sure what word to use to describe my feelings.

 

Has anyone ever had someone , make them feel like they had a separate agenda for being your friend ?

 

That is somewhat how I am feeling. Trying to have a conversation with someone on a friend level , and disagreeing on something normally wouldn't stop the friendship itself unless something very out of line is said. 

 

Now , what happens when there is a moral disagreement ? Something like cheating ? Trying to be a friend to someone of the opposite gender is very difficult when they have been open about their habits of being involved with married/taken people. I do not judge these people , but I find it very difficult to talk to someone because I put myself in my Daddy's shoes. Would he think it is okay compared to someone who has not cheated and morally thinks it is wrong as well ?

 

This leads me to the core of this post I suppose. I feel that I put in effort to be calm , and to still be friendly even though someone and I had moral disagreements. I felt as though I was put under pressure , but I still spoke my opinion. In return , I was unfriended and told take care. I simply said we had moral disagreements , in reference to me being put in a awkward position. I feel as though the new "friendship" was just a farce , to talk to me in a certain way or for sexual advances. If someone truly wanted to only be friends , a calm and friendly disagreement shouldn't call for ending the friendship , in my opinion..  So this makes me feel like all of the talking that took place before hand was all a ploy. An act of being kind or friendly in order to break someones morals down to get an end result. 

 

I suppose it's just leaving me feeling really weird , and tired. People should want to be your friend for you , and not future advances they could make after trying to battle your morals. This is leaving me feeling bitchy for expressing my dislike for cheating and not waning to be pressured or someone trying to bend my morals. Am I bitchy , or is this a valid feeling ? 

 

Thanks for listening , I didn't want to rant about this in chat so I found this to be the appropriate place to vent. 

Edited February 1, 2017 by Daddysmonkey

[sighing]

Valid feelings. I say good riddance. You're better off without toxic people like that in your life.

[ButterscotchBunny]

Hey monkey. Well you didn't do anything wrong. I'm really sorry he treated you like that, but if he would throw your friendship away that easily he wasn't in it for the right reasons. A real friend wouldn't ever cut you off like that.

 

and you are never "bitchy", you are strong, assertive, and speak your mind, and those are great qualities. Don't let anyone tell you that you're bitchy for for not rolling over and trying to please everyone.

[Guest Appacheian]

We will meet people in all walks of our life and sometimes people aren't what they want you to believe. This 'friend' wants people to agree with him as though they have no moral right to their own values or opinions. It's better to find that out and move on from them. No you aren't bitchy. Stick up for your values and if that doesn't suit others then that's their problem.

[DaddysPurpleButterfly]

I'd like to point out something that, when I've pointed it out before, has made people give me "the look of disgust", or the eyerolling, etc., and has even led some people to call me a Feminazi:

 

The thing is, it is your right to be bitchy.  All feelings are valid, and feeling bitchy is, well, a feeling too!  I'm not saying it "gives us a pass to be mean/cruel/rude/etc.etc." or any of that nonsense -- but there comes a time when we just have to put our foot down and say to people, no, this is not acceptable, this I will not tolerate, I will not be swayed by your desires, I will not smile upon command like I am walking down the street for your amusement and sexual enjoyment -- because I'm not here for you!

 

Wow that got a bit off-topic, but it's something that I've encountered way too often.

 

Bottom line:  if a guy unfriends you for moral differences, or whatever, that's on him.  It's truly his loss.  I have friends whom I've known for years that turned out to support a particular *ahem* individual, politically -- and instead of going down the train of arguments that would surely lead to the dissolution of our friendship, we just don't talk about politics. At all.

 

So, there's my two cents.  Write this guy off as an idiot who may or may not have been in it for something else!

[Guest Kittehmuffin]

These are your feelings and it's ok to feel them if you don't agree with something. A true friend would want to work it out, not unfriend you. People show their friends colours sooner or later. At least now you know!

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

I just let it all loose and figure if they're really my friend, they'll realize that this one conversation or argument isn't what defines our friendship and we'll both get over it in a few days and be chatting again like normal. 

 

Edit: I have one friend in particular that I'm constantly getting into unwanted debates with. Things get heated and it's usually about serious stuff. But we just have a trantrum on both sides.

And about 5 days later he'll be sending me memes to initiate conversation. lol

Edited February 1, 2017 by MilkPop

[HeCallsMePrincess]

perhaps this "friend" wasn't just looking for a friend. in fact, i'd bet money on it by how you described the situation. good riddance

[Frog]