Should I ask him?

[moodylittlecloud]

Here's a little backstory: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years, he introduced me to ddlg (less than a year ago) and I loved it, that's how I discovered I was a little. A few months ago he said he didn't want to be a daddy anymore because he wanted a girlfriend, not a daughter (ouch but noted). I would call him daddy (during sexy time) even before I knew I was a little and I still do. While I don't want to stop calling him daddy because it would hurt a lot, when he calls himself daddy (even though I like that) I do get really upset. Also I find it really hard to get into little space without a caregiver.

 

Being a little without a caregiver is being really difficult and I've been thinking a lot about asking him about finding a mommy/daddy. Me and my new caregiver wouldn't be dating and it would probably be online/LDR. I want to ask but I feel selfish asking him to find a caregiver and I'd feel guilty because my caregiver would always be second to my boyfriend. I don't know if I should ask or try to I guess let go of my little side.

[myownlittleprincess]

You shouldn't have to give up being a little. Talk to him about how you feel and what you want, telling the truth and communication is the key to any relationship. Ask and see what happens, you'll never know unless you try.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

You need to explain all of what you said here to him.

It's been 2yrs, I think that's long enough for you two understand each other reasonably well.

Plus he's been a Daddy. He should understand how important that role is to your Little side.

Hopefully he won't be too jealous to let you have a mummy/daddy or cg. Best of luck with your talk with him.

[moodylittlecloud]

You shouldn't have to give up being a little. Talk to him about how you feel and what you want, telling the truth and communication is the key to any relationship. Ask and see what happens, you'll never know unless you try.

Thank you so much

[moodylittlecloud]

You need to explain all of what you said here to him.

It's been 2yrs, I think that's long enough for you two understand each other reasonably well.

Plus he's been a Daddy. He should understand how important that role is to your Little side.

Hopefully he won't be too jealous to let you have a mummy/daddy or cg. Best of luck with your talk with him.

thank you 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

I will air on the side of caution of everyone else here...

Be careful introducing another to your lifestyle as it could get complicated. You say it would be strictly a CG/little dynamic with no other relationship involved... but you can't know that. You do not know what other feelings will evolve for you, your boyfriend, or the new caregiver. I urge you, be cautious.

 

My advice is to first talk to your boyfriend... can he not be your Daddy sometimes and you two be a normal dating couple others? Relationships are built on compromise and he shouldn't completely take his role away from you without first allowing you to try and compromise. Just my two cents.

[BabyGirl32015]

I have had a similar issue with a daddy not wanting to be a daddy all the time ane suddenly stopping durring play time. I talked to him about having a LDR daddy, allowing him to read my messages and eveqything and it was working for awhile until I started resenting my boyfrhend for not being there for me like he promised. We started fighting and then everything started falling apart. Not trying to scare you away from asking, just an air of caution due to personal exspirance.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

Here's a little backstory: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years, he introduced me to ddlg (less than a year ago) and I loved it, that's how I discovered I was a little. A few months ago he said he didn't want to be a daddy anymore because he wanted a girlfriend, not a daughter (ouch but noted). I would call him daddy (during sexy time) even before I knew I was a little and I still do. While I don't want to stop calling him daddy because it would hurt a lot, when he calls himself daddy (even though I like that) I do get really upset. Also I find it really hard to get into little space without a caregiver.

 

Being a little without a caregiver is being really difficult and I've been thinking a lot about asking him about finding a mommy/daddy. Me and my new caregiver wouldn't be dating and it would probably be online/LDR. I want to ask but I feel selfish asking him to find a caregiver and I'd feel guilty because my caregiver would always be second to my boyfriend. I don't know if I should ask or try to I guess let go of my little side.

 

have you considered that maybe it was just some type of phase for him? that

it was something he discovered, thought he'd be into, introduced you into, and

then realized it wasn't for him anymore? sometimes that can happen and it's okay.

though i have to wonder if he truly was into the dynamic/knew what it was beyond

just doing it during sex if he said he didn't want a daughter anymore because a

little is by no means family for you to take care of. a little is not a son/daughter.

a little is a little. and as a reminder, being young can easily alter how one might

see being a daddy - or even being able to find that headspace to be one. i can see

the appeal of wanting to be a teenager over taking care of a little when you are

a teenager. and i do think age plays a mighty big role in your current issue. 

 

first and foremost, this is something i've seen a lot around these forums with younger

littles is that they need a daddy to be a little, you don't. a little can be little without any

type of caregiver, yes, it is easier to get into littlespace while having one but it's not

impossible to get into it without one and i would suggest finding ways to get into your

headspace without the assistance of your boyfriend. it may be difficult but it's doable.

you really can't 'let go' of your littleside, i imagine, unless it was something that would

just be a phase of some sort so it'd pass. at least, that's my opinion. there are lots

of topics here about how to be little without a cg. 

 

anyways, as unfair and awful as it may seem, he doesn't have to be your daddy if

he doesn't want to. you can't force someone into that role, into taking on that

headspace, and then to further take care of someone else. i can't imagine that

being easy to do - and it's something that younger caregivers might have a hard

time doing as they're still growing up themselves and can't necessarily go about

taking care of another human being and it'd be unfair to expect him to. if he doesn't

like you calling him daddy, then don't. if he continues to refer to himself as one when

it suits him, a compromise needs to be made ( but it sort of seems like if he's doing

it when he want that he's using it to get something out of you? i'm not too sure as that's

something you would have to gauge ) he may just be feeling the role sometimes and

other times not. that's something that you need to talk to him about. 

 

i suggest you two try to work out the issues you have before attempting to ask him if it's

okay to find a caregiver. you may speak to him and find out that he's not someone who 

can live the lifestyle but instead finds himself wanting to be a daddy at certain times and

not others. you may be able to find a compromise, if not, you're still able to keep on dating

as you are, you don't have to break up because he doesn't want to be your daddy, ( i only

say this because i see too many people suggesting that if a daddy doesn't want to be your

cg that you have to leave them ) you don't have to go out and find another caregiver. i

honestly think you should learn to be little without reliance on someone to put you in that

headspace or take care of you. 

[moodylittlecloud]

T

 

 

have you considered that maybe it was just some type of phase for him? that

it was something he discovered, thought he'd be into, introduced you into, and

then realized it wasn't for him anymore? sometimes that can happen and it's okay.

though i have to wonder if he truly was into the dynamic/knew what it was beyond

just doing it during sex if he said he didn't want a daughter anymore because a

little is by no means family for you to take care of. a little is not a son/daughter.

a little is a little. and as a reminder, being young can easily alter how one might

see being a daddy - or even being able to find that headspace to be one. i can see

the appeal of wanting to be a teenager over taking care of a little when you are

a teenager. and i do think age plays a mighty big role in your current issue. 

 

first and foremost, this is something i've seen a lot around these forums with younger

littles is that they need a daddy to be a little, you don't. a little can be little without any

type of caregiver, yes, it is easier to get into littlespace while having one but it's not

impossible to get into it without one and i would suggest finding ways to get into your

headspace without the assistance of your boyfriend. it may be difficult but it's doable.

you really can't 'let go' of your littleside, i imagine, unless it was something that would

just be a phase of some sort so it'd pass. at least, that's my opinion. there are lots

of topics here about how to be little without a cg. 

 

anyways, as unfair and awful as it may seem, he doesn't have to be your daddy if

he doesn't want to. you can't force someone into that role, into taking on that

headspace, and then to further take care of someone else. i can't imagine that

being easy to do - and it's something that younger caregivers might have a hard

time doing as they're still growing up themselves and can't necessarily go about

taking care of another human being and it'd be unfair to expect him to. if he doesn't

like you calling him daddy, then don't. if he continues to refer to himself as one when

it suits him, a compromise needs to be made ( but it sort of seems like if he's doing

it when he want that he's using it to get something out of you? i'm not too sure as that's

something you would have to gauge ) he may just be feeling the role sometimes and

other times not. that's something that you need to talk to him about. 

 

i suggest you two try to work out the issues you have before attempting to ask him if it's

okay to find a caregiver. you may speak to him and find out that he's not someone who 

can live the lifestyle but instead finds himself wanting to be a daddy at certain times and

not others. you may be able to find a compromise, if not, you're still able to keep on dating

as you are, you don't have to break up because he doesn't want to be your daddy, ( i only

say this because i see too many people suggesting that if a daddy doesn't want to be your

cg that you have to leave them ) you don't have to go out and find another caregiver. i

honestly think you should learn to be little without reliance on someone to put you in that

headspace or take care of you. 

 

 

 

I have had a similar issue with a daddy not wanting to be a daddy all the time ane suddenly stopping durring play time. I talked to him about having a LDR daddy, allowing him to read my messages and eveqything and it was working for awhile until I started resenting my boyfrhend for not being there for me like he promised. We started fighting and then everything started falling apart. Not trying to scare you away from asking, just an air of caution due to personal exspirance.

 

 

I will air on the side of caution of everyone else here...
Be careful introducing another to your lifestyle as it could get complicated. You say it would be strictly a CG/little dynamic with no other relationship involved... but you can't know that. You do not know what other feelings will evolve for you, your boyfriend, or the new caregiver. I urge you, be cautious.

My advice is to first talk to your boyfriend... can he not be your Daddy sometimes and you two be a normal dating couple others? Relationships are built on compromise and he shouldn't completely take his role away from you without first allowing you to try and compromise. Just my two cents.

Thank you everyone