not enough anymore

[Guest belljar]

Having an imaginary Daddy isn't enough anymore…. i need to be someone's sweet darling baby. I get so sad sometimes.

 

(this post doesn't mean i'm really looking for Daddy, i just wanted to express that thought. if i were looking, i'd post in the personals, just fyi, and I hope I'm not violating forum rules or anything. thanks!)

[ButterscotchBunny]

I'm feeling lonely today too. :c but there must be daddies out there somewhere for both of us. <3 and if you feel really sad you can always talk to me or other members here.

[tayiie]

How do you have an imaginary daddy?

 

I'm curious as I myself have many imaginary daddies but I thought I was weird for pretending that

[Guest MusicianDaddy]

You have both peaked my curiosity LOL what exactly is an imaginary Daddy?

[BabyGirl32015]

I know how you feel. After awhile alone I start to crave the companionship aspect of the ddlg dynamic more then anything else and have maf myself an imaginary daddy to help take the edge off. I do see people asking what an imaginary daddy is, its like an imaginary friend that takes on all of the charactoristics of your ideal daddy dom. At least thats how it works for me anyways. Edited January 29, 2017 by BabyGirl32015

[Guest belljar]

Yeah it's for me it's kind of like what BabyGirl32015 said - I need the care taking and companionship. I have conversations with my imaginary Daddy (pretty much looks like I'm talking to myself or thinking real hard), telling myself that Daddy loves me, and things like that. It helps (or is even my instinct? I'll look into that) on days when I'm feeling bad emotionally or stressed and need extra motivation to do things like take care of myself. (For example, if I manage to take a shower, or if I power through my sadness and do all my homework, I can say my Daddy loves me so much and I was so good for him, and then I'll buy myself a coffee or something and pretend it's from him.)

 

Basically, it helps me break things down into small tasks for myself and be nice to myself. I don't have a real life or online Daddy to support me or protect me or praise me, so I dreamt one up to do it for me. 

 

Just pretending I'm loved. It's great while I'm talking to my imaginary Daddy, and it gets me through some of the bad times, but just read the previous sentence again and you can see why it's only superficial.

 

It's hardest to think up believable cuddles. That gets especially sad. 

 

I guess 'imaginary Daddy' just means lonely.

[Guest Loki]

I have multiple imaginary daddies as well, and yeah it can be from loneliness for me too, it's also how I go about learning what I need vs what I want. My fantasies have a knack for telling me what I need when I can't figure it out otherwise.

[tayiie]

Then I can finally feel I'm not alone in all this :'3 I thought I was weird for imagining having a daddy who I talk to, who I imagine telling me what to do and not to. One who does everything for me. This has really lifted some weight from my shoulders. THANK YOU for making this post <3

[Dumbledork'sPrincess]

Yeah it's for me it's kind of like what BabyGirl32015 said - I need the care taking and companionship. I have conversations with my imaginary Daddy (pretty much looks like I'm talking to myself or thinking real hard), telling myself that Daddy loves me, and things like that. It helps (or is even my instinct? I'll look into that) on days when I'm feeling bad emotionally or stressed and need extra motivation to do things like take care of myself. (For example, if I manage to take a shower, or if I power through my sadness and do all my homework, I can say my Daddy loves me so much and I was so good for him, and then I'll buy myself a coffee or something and pretend it's from him.)

 

Basically, it helps me break things down into small tasks for myself and be nice to myself. I don't have a real life or online Daddy to support me or protect me or praise me, so I dreamt one up to do it for me.

 

Just pretending I'm loved. It's great while I'm talking to my imaginary Daddy, and it gets me through some of the bad times, but just read the previous sentence again and you can see why it's only superficial.

 

It's hardest to think up believable cuddles. That gets especially sad.

 

I guess 'imaginary Daddy' just means lonely.

I have imaginary cuddles with my Daddy, we're long distance. Imaginary cuddles are hard

[fluffiepinkiecutie]

I know that my post is going to be triggering, but you know what? I think that some people make ddlg only about having a daddy. Like if you don't have one you're nothing. I'm so tired of seeing ddlg blogs on tumblr that reblog only things about having a daddy etc. Sometimes I don't feel alone when I'm in little space, but suddenly I see posts about how much having a daddy is wonderful and I feel crappy and unloved. I suffer from lack of affection myself, so this isn't good at all. That's why I'm usually a lurker.

[BabyGirl32015]

I know that my post is going to be triggering, but you know what? I think that some people make ddlg only about having a daddy. Like if you don't have one you're nothing. I'm so tired of seeing ddlg blogs on tumblr that reblog only things about having a daddy etc. Sometimes I don't feel alone when I'm in little space, but suddenly I see posts about how much having a daddy is wonderful and I feel crappy and unloved. I suffer from lack of affection myself, so this isn't good at all. That's why I'm usually a lurker.

 

 

I can understand how you feel this way and I see it a lot myself and it DOES wear on me after awhile. DDlg is NOT all about having a daddy or even being in a relationship. I do very well on my own when I don't have someone to take care of me, its called being a responsible adult. I still have the physical ability to continue my life and still be very happy in Little space with or without a daddy dom. I think some people have a harder time with it than others though, and thats perfectly okay!

 

Most often I see Littles that get on this site and complain that they don't have a daddy and that they are lonely. It's going to happen weather you like it or not sad to say, but I check up on some of these people and see that they have only joined the community as a real member only a few days before posting a personal add an that's their only post. The status updates are FILLED to the brim with "sad Littles" and yes, its annoying, and yes thats not what DDlg is all about, but thats how they wish to present themselves. It might not be the best way to go about things but its their choice to use this forum as a "Poor Little Me" window and not somewhere to actually meet people and talk about the positive things in their life.

 

That got a BIT ranty but I hope you see where I was going with that!

 

Hugs!

 

Kay

[BabyGirl32015]

*Waves* As ever, I will be playing the devil's advocate. Lets keep it nice and mature.

 

I want to discuss the topic of relationships and mental growth. I feel this is something everyone needs multiple times in their life and I fear is happening less and less as time goes on.

Over the past two weeks I have talked to a lot of people one on one (via PMs) about this very topic that I figured I would write it all out. I will never name names, but I will be using examples from those I have spoken with. And even then I will only say the same things I told to them. And for the sake of this post I will be using the DDlg dynamic as the example of the type of relationship since we can all relate to this.

 

I did a whole post on Instant Gratification in regards to these issues, so I will not be touching on that subject. But instead I will be focusing on the factors at play when you do jump around from partner to partner or dive head first into something you are not ready for. Most of this article will be based in psychological fact unless I specifically state it is my opinion. A lot of it may be hard for some to swallow because they may see themselves in what I am writing - my point is NOT to make you feel bad. It is to help people realize that there are consequences that can hurt you if not taken into consideration.

 

***As always! There are exceptions to each and every category! No one person is pigeonholed into a category and just because you may meet some categorical elements, that doesn't mean you will do these things. I am not saying everyone fits these groups! I am not saying that those that fits these groups are bad in any way! These are generalized statements, please understand this!***

 

The Issue - Too many people have this desire to hop from one relationship to another, without a second thought on how this may be effecting the one they are with or themselves. Or they seem to want to jump into a relationship without even knowing what they need or are needed of by their partner. 

 

Age 

Yes, I am starting out with an issue no one in this category is going to want to hear. Age has such a huge impact (in general) when it comes to the mindset of when a person is ready to start a serious, in depth, relationship. And more importantly, how they deal in between these relationships. Why is age such a vital element? Because the younger you are, the less likely you are to have had any real life experience as well as not have done the proper research on things you may need to know. 

 

Am I saying there are no late teens and early twenty-years-old who are not well rounded and informed? Absolutely not. Of course there are! But in general this is an age when a person is truly figuring out the Real World for the first time and trying to get a grip on this thing called Life. Which is how it is supposed to be. And while doing so it is increasingly difficult to withstand the pressure and commitment a DDlg relationship requires. In my opinion - The DDlg relationship is one of the most intimate and deep relationship a person can have. And it is a relationship that requires a lot of maturity because of the very nature it stands in. 

 

Example - I have seen multiple people in chat who will say publicly that they cannot sleep without a Daddy. They cannot be happy without a Mommy. They cannot be without a caregiver. I will openly admit; when I see this in chat my first reaction is to go to their profile and check their age. And literally every single time I have done this, said little has been 18-19 years old. The forum is a little biased (in my opinion) and Mommies and Daddies are asked to stop solicitation when they start asking for littles, but those that make these radical of statements tend to be the same age range. And the worst part is, predators know that when they are this young and trying to be in this type of relationship it is easy to prey on these individuals. Why? Because it is true. For the most part littles and caregivers of this age do not fully understand what it takes to be in this dynamic and so it is so much easier to be manipulated.

 

When you are 18, 19, 20 years old you haven't really settled into adulthood. You haven't really gotten into the swing of things to truly know how things work (again! in the vast majority!). You have done from you original caregiver's home (parents, grandparents, family, etc) and now are looking for a relationship with another caregiver. This stunts your growth as an independent adult. Not to mention that it will make you that much more vulnerable if/when the relationship ends. We need to be able to struggle and flourish on our own to learn how to cope with the real events of your life. And most importantly, learning how to survive on your own and love yourself should take top priority. Otherwise you will never be happy. And to stunt yourself at such a young age can easily warp your entire adulthood.

 

Experience

We have all seen it, "I am a new Daddy and am looking for his princess." "Hai hai, I am a new wittle looking for her Daddy!" You know what? That is great! We are all so happy that you are ready to start your first DDlg relationship! ...that is to say if you are ready. Inexperience is not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, not at all. We all start out at 0 and it is up to us to figure things out and explore. This is great! However. When a person is inexperienced they need to take extra care of who they get involved with and exactly how they deal during and after break ups.

 

Example 1 - I am going to use myself as my first example here. I am currently 24 and officially acknowledged that I was a little when I was 20, but I had little like needs since I was 17. When I came to accept I was a little at 20 I started looking for forums similar to this. My rationale (like most), the best way to get to know myself is to jump head first into the community. Right? Yes and no. I found another forum with another chat system and will openly admit I was clueless about this dynamic at 20. And I cannot tell you how many older men swamped my inbox and my PMs (in this chat, ANYONE could PM you) wanting to be my Daddy. I thank my background in psychology that I was able to profile these men accurately because 99% of them were looking to take advantage of the fact that I had no idea what I was doing. This is when I backed off and took time (4 years to be exact) to do as much research to find out what I need. Now, because of my understanding, I can easily spot the manipulators, those who are not mature and those who would not be a good fit. This alone has saved me from so many issues that I cannot express enough how important research is. I know what it is like to want your Daddy to show you the ropes because you are basically at vanilla standing with no experience under your belt. But that is NOT justification to put yourself at risk.

 

Example 2 - Here recently I have spotted a new "Daddy" and a new "little" come together after only being in the dynamic for a few months or so. Why did I use quotes? Am I saying they are not a real Daddy or little? Not at all. But their lack of  experience (mixed with their age) leads me to believe (my opinion) they are not READY to be in these roles. Could they prove me wrong? Certainly! Is it likely? No. I know that one of them has just gotten out of his/her first DDlg relationship only a month-ish ago and now he/she wants to just get into a relationship to take care of someone or be taken care of. ***Vagueness used for confidentiality*** This person has not allowed enough time to even begin to recover from his/her very first relationship where the ex "ripped my heart out." This is SO dangerous! Without allowing time to deal with heartbreak you are putting not only yourself at risk but also your new partner. And this happens with inexperience because people want to experience so badly they do not take the proper precautions. 

 

Experience shouldn't be a collection. We shouldn't hold relationships like trophies. What we need to focus on is UNDERSTANDING and realistic expectations. I have not had a Daddy, but I can honestly say that when I find one, it will be a quality relationship with a lower risk of technical issues. Why? Because I supplemented my inexperience with research. Am I saying everyone needs to do 4 years of research? Hell no. But a significant amount is needed, enough to let the person know of not only the wonderful aspects of this dynamics but the very real dangers.

 

Mental Health

This is a monumental issue within our community. There have been so many issues of those with mental illness or mental unease that have jumped head first into a relationship when it is obvious that it will only harm them further. Let me make something very clear:

 

Mental illness does not mean you cannot be a Caregiver or a little.

 

Oh yeah, you know I am going to repeat myself because this is so important:

 

Mental illness does not mean you cannot be a Caregiver or little.

 

But what it does mean is you have an added responsibility (as the one with a mental illness) to acknowledge that not everyone can be put in the a relationship like this. And it is not because you are bad or gross or unlovable in any way shape or form! But all mental illness comes with added responsibilities and needs. And some people are not able to deal with those. This is just a fact of life. 

 

Example 1 - I was talking to an individual who lost his little because she didn't understand his depression. She claimed he didn't love her nor did he care about her because he couldn't be energetic and fun-loving whenever she wanted him to be. Talking further with this individual, he then revealed to me that he never told her that he was suffering from depression. See how quickly that went from "Geeze, she should understand that is how depression works," to "Wow, I can see how she misunderstood his symptoms." That is because when it comes to mental illness you need to be ready to disclose this about yourself to your new partner. If you cant (maybe you're afraid they wont be with you) then it is time to reevaluate if they are even good for you as it is.

 

Example 2 - Another individual I talked with is recovering from a particularly vicious break up. This break up has left him feeling lonely and unwanted. He wants to get into a relationship because he cannot stand the loneliness because it reminds him of his ex. When I talked to him I mentioned he should work through these issues and work on being okay before jumping into something new. He then explained that he wanted to "be with someone until I am fixed so I wont be lonely." In other words, he wants to be with someone as a way to avoid his mental trauma. This is so damaging for both people involved! A person needs time to hurt, to grieve and time to realize who they are after a break up, it is essential to being mentally healthy. And most importantly: It is NOT FAIR to expect someone to be with you when you are still suffering from a past relationship in this magnitude! When the wounds are still THIS fresh and THIS painful, another relationship WILL NOT HELP. And it will only hurt you AND your new partner even worse.

 

What these examples are showing is that we have an obligation to any future relationships to know our needs and our mental abilities before starting anything.  A person NEEDS to be in a place that is safe for both them and anyone new otherwise the risk is too great. If this means being single for however long, then that is what it takes! Utilize friends during these times, but do not jump into a new relationship when you cannot handle it. If you have a mental illness (depression, anxiety, bi-polar, etc) then you have an added responsibility to know your limits and the limits of those you may be with. Again - this does NOT make you any less of a wonderful person! Not at all!! But the symptoms and their needs cannot be ignored, it is not fair to those involved (including yourself). And if you are at a point that you are not healed from whatever may have happened, then don't back someone into a corner because you didn't want to be lonely. In my blunt opinion? This is HIGHLY selfish - you are basically saying another person has to deal with your wounds because you don't want to. Again - does this mindset mean you are unlovable and unwanted? HELL NO! It means you need to heal to be able to move on. We have ALL been there. It is just now your turn and it needs to be done so responsibly. 

 

 

My whole point that I am trying to make is this: Everyone needs to understand that this jumping from person to person is not health, it does not allow time for a person to grow or learn to understand their own self. AND rushing into another relationship after some heartache or mental trauma is not only unwise but is DANGEROUS to all involved.

 

Every single person has a responsibility to care for themselves, even if they don't want to. And even more importantly, they have an even larger obligation to be considerate of the person they want to be with. Even if that means admitting they are not ready!

 

We need to take steps to be safe and happy, otherwise all we are doing is hurting our community as a whole.

 

[Author's note - this was not proofread so please excuse any typos and errors.]

 

 

QUOTE: LITTLEBREE

 

 

 

 

 

This was from a thread that I read back in September that could also help with this particular question. THe writing above is not my own, but I could not 'quote' from one thread to another. Please feel free to notify the original writer, but I DID post her name under it.

 

Please and Thank You!

 

Kay

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

 

*Waves* As ever, I will be playing the devil's advocate. Lets keep it nice and mature.

 

I want to discuss the topic of relationships and mental growth. I feel this is something everyone needs multiple times in their life and I fear is happening less and less as time goes on.

Over the past two weeks I have talked to a lot of people one on one (via PMs) about this very topic that I figured I would write it all out. I will never name names, but I will be using examples from those I have spoken with. And even then I will only say the same things I told to them. And for the sake of this post I will be using the DDlg dynamic as the example of the type of relationship since we can all relate to this.

 

I did a whole post on Instant Gratification in regards to these issues, so I will not be touching on that subject. But instead I will be focusing on the factors at play when you do jump around from partner to partner or dive head first into something you are not ready for. Most of this article will be based in psychological fact unless I specifically state it is my opinion. A lot of it may be hard for some to swallow because they may see themselves in what I am writing - my point is NOT to make you feel bad. It is to help people realize that there are consequences that can hurt you if not taken into consideration.

 

***As always! There are exceptions to each and every category! No one person is pigeonholed into a category and just because you may meet some categorical elements, that doesn't mean you will do these things. I am not saying everyone fits these groups! I am not saying that those that fits these groups are bad in any way! These are generalized statements, please understand this!***

 

The Issue - Too many people have this desire to hop from one relationship to another, without a second thought on how this may be effecting the one they are with or themselves. Or they seem to want to jump into a relationship without even knowing what they need or are needed of by their partner. 

 

Age 

Yes, I am starting out with an issue no one in this category is going to want to hear. Age has such a huge impact (in general) when it comes to the mindset of when a person is ready to start a serious, in depth, relationship. And more importantly, how they deal in between these relationships. Why is age such a vital element? Because the younger you are, the less likely you are to have had any real life experience as well as not have done the proper research on things you may need to know. 

 

Am I saying there are no late teens and early twenty-years-old who are not well rounded and informed? Absolutely not. Of course there are! But in general this is an age when a person is truly figuring out the Real World for the first time and trying to get a grip on this thing called Life. Which is how it is supposed to be. And while doing so it is increasingly difficult to withstand the pressure and commitment a DDlg relationship requires. In my opinion - The DDlg relationship is one of the most intimate and deep relationship a person can have. And it is a relationship that requires a lot of maturity because of the very nature it stands in. 

 

Example - I have seen multiple people in chat who will say publicly that they cannot sleep without a Daddy. They cannot be happy without a Mommy. They cannot be without a caregiver. I will openly admit; when I see this in chat my first reaction is to go to their profile and check their age. And literally every single time I have done this, said little has been 18-19 years old. The forum is a little biased (in my opinion) and Mommies and Daddies are asked to stop solicitation when they start asking for littles, but those that make these radical of statements tend to be the same age range. And the worst part is, predators know that when they are this young and trying to be in this type of relationship it is easy to prey on these individuals. Why? Because it is true. For the most part littles and caregivers of this age do not fully understand what it takes to be in this dynamic and so it is so much easier to be manipulated.

 

When you are 18, 19, 20 years old you haven't really settled into adulthood. You haven't really gotten into the swing of things to truly know how things work (again! in the vast majority!). You have done from you original caregiver's home (parents, grandparents, family, etc) and now are looking for a relationship with another caregiver. This stunts your growth as an independent adult. Not to mention that it will make you that much more vulnerable if/when the relationship ends. We need to be able to struggle and flourish on our own to learn how to cope with the real events of your life. And most importantly, learning how to survive on your own and love yourself should take top priority. Otherwise you will never be happy. And to stunt yourself at such a young age can easily warp your entire adulthood.

 

Experience

We have all seen it, "I am a new Daddy and am looking for his princess." "Hai hai, I am a new wittle looking for her Daddy!" You know what? That is great! We are all so happy that you are ready to start your first DDlg relationship! ...that is to say if you are ready. Inexperience is not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, not at all. We all start out at 0 and it is up to us to figure things out and explore. This is great! However. When a person is inexperienced they need to take extra care of who they get involved with and exactly how they deal during and after break ups.

 

Example 1 - I am going to use myself as my first example here. I am currently 24 and officially acknowledged that I was a little when I was 20, but I had little like needs since I was 17. When I came to accept I was a little at 20 I started looking for forums similar to this. My rationale (like most), the best way to get to know myself is to jump head first into the community. Right? Yes and no. I found another forum with another chat system and will openly admit I was clueless about this dynamic at 20. And I cannot tell you how many older men swamped my inbox and my PMs (in this chat, ANYONE could PM you) wanting to be my Daddy. I thank my background in psychology that I was able to profile these men accurately because 99% of them were looking to take advantage of the fact that I had no idea what I was doing. This is when I backed off and took time (4 years to be exact) to do as much research to find out what I need. Now, because of my understanding, I can easily spot the manipulators, those who are not mature and those who would not be a good fit. This alone has saved me from so many issues that I cannot express enough how important research is. I know what it is like to want your Daddy to show you the ropes because you are basically at vanilla standing with no experience under your belt. But that is NOT justification to put yourself at risk.

 

Example 2 - Here recently I have spotted a new "Daddy" and a new "little" come together after only being in the dynamic for a few months or so. Why did I use quotes? Am I saying they are not a real Daddy or little? Not at all. But their lack of  experience (mixed with their age) leads me to believe (my opinion) they are not READY to be in these roles. Could they prove me wrong? Certainly! Is it likely? No. I know that one of them has just gotten out of his/her first DDlg relationship only a month-ish ago and now he/she wants to just get into a relationship to take care of someone or be taken care of. ***Vagueness used for confidentiality*** This person has not allowed enough time to even begin to recover from his/her very first relationship where the ex "ripped my heart out." This is SO dangerous! Without allowing time to deal with heartbreak you are putting not only yourself at risk but also your new partner. And this happens with inexperience because people want to experience so badly they do not take the proper precautions. 

 

Experience shouldn't be a collection. We shouldn't hold relationships like trophies. What we need to focus on is UNDERSTANDING and realistic expectations. I have not had a Daddy, but I can honestly say that when I find one, it will be a quality relationship with a lower risk of technical issues. Why? Because I supplemented my inexperience with research. Am I saying everyone needs to do 4 years of research? Hell no. But a significant amount is needed, enough to let the person know of not only the wonderful aspects of this dynamics but the very real dangers.

 

Mental Health

This is a monumental issue within our community. There have been so many issues of those with mental illness or mental unease that have jumped head first into a relationship when it is obvious that it will only harm them further. Let me make something very clear:

 

Mental illness does not mean you cannot be a Caregiver or a little.

 

Oh yeah, you know I am going to repeat myself because this is so important:

 

Mental illness does not mean you cannot be a Caregiver or little.

 

But what it does mean is you have an added responsibility (as the one with a mental illness) to acknowledge that not everyone can be put in the a relationship like this. And it is not because you are bad or gross or unlovable in any way shape or form! But all mental illness comes with added responsibilities and needs. And some people are not able to deal with those. This is just a fact of life. 

 

Example 1 - I was talking to an individual who lost his little because she didn't understand his depression. She claimed he didn't love her nor did he care about her because he couldn't be energetic and fun-loving whenever she wanted him to be. Talking further with this individual, he then revealed to me that he never told her that he was suffering from depression. See how quickly that went from "Geeze, she should understand that is how depression works," to "Wow, I can see how she misunderstood his symptoms." That is because when it comes to mental illness you need to be ready to disclose this about yourself to your new partner. If you cant (maybe you're afraid they wont be with you) then it is time to reevaluate if they are even good for you as it is.

 

Example 2 - Another individual I talked with is recovering from a particularly vicious break up. This break up has left him feeling lonely and unwanted. He wants to get into a relationship because he cannot stand the loneliness because it reminds him of his ex. When I talked to him I mentioned he should work through these issues and work on being okay before jumping into something new. He then explained that he wanted to "be with someone until I am fixed so I wont be lonely." In other words, he wants to be with someone as a way to avoid his mental trauma. This is so damaging for both people involved! A person needs time to hurt, to grieve and time to realize who they are after a break up, it is essential to being mentally healthy. And most importantly: It is NOT FAIR to expect someone to be with you when you are still suffering from a past relationship in this magnitude! When the wounds are still THIS fresh and THIS painful, another relationship WILL NOT HELP. And it will only hurt you AND your new partner even worse.

 

What these examples are showing is that we have an obligation to any future relationships to know our needs and our mental abilities before starting anything.  A person NEEDS to be in a place that is safe for both them and anyone new otherwise the risk is too great. If this means being single for however long, then that is what it takes! Utilize friends during these times, but do not jump into a new relationship when you cannot handle it. If you have a mental illness (depression, anxiety, bi-polar, etc) then you have an added responsibility to know your limits and the limits of those you may be with. Again - this does NOT make you any less of a wonderful person! Not at all!! But the symptoms and their needs cannot be ignored, it is not fair to those involved (including yourself). And if you are at a point that you are not healed from whatever may have happened, then don't back someone into a corner because you didn't want to be lonely. In my blunt opinion? This is HIGHLY selfish - you are basically saying another person has to deal with your wounds because you don't want to. Again - does this mindset mean you are unlovable and unwanted? HELL NO! It means you need to heal to be able to move on. We have ALL been there. It is just now your turn and it needs to be done so responsibly. 

 

 

My whole point that I am trying to make is this: Everyone needs to understand that this jumping from person to person is not health, it does not allow time for a person to grow or learn to understand their own self. AND rushing into another relationship after some heartache or mental trauma is not only unwise but is DANGEROUS to all involved.

 

Every single person has a responsibility to care for themselves, even if they don't want to. And even more importantly, they have an even larger obligation to be considerate of the person they want to be with. Even if that means admitting they are not ready!

 

We need to take steps to be safe and happy, otherwise all we are doing is hurting our community as a whole.

 

[Author's note - this was not proofread so please excuse any typos and errors.]

 

 

QUOTE: LITTLEBREE

 

 

 

 

 

This was from a thread that I read back in September that could also help with this particular question. THe writing above is not my own, but I could not 'quote' from one thread to another. Please feel free to notify the original writer, but I DID post her name under it.

 

Please and Thank You!

 

Kay

 

 

bless you.

bless you for the rest of your days.

 

this post is so fucking important, it needs to be pinned all over the place. like.

everywhere.

 

i know someone else wrote it but damn, thank you again. i am delighted i'm

not the only one seeing what the op of that topic wrote. people can hate me

if they'd like but honestly most of the posts/statuses about needing someone,

wanting someone, being so depressed because they're lonely, people unable

to deal with their own emotional state can be tucked into one of those categories

above, most of them are late teens, early 20's. i know there's nothing that can be

done for people doing any of that stuff but damn, i wish there were. 

 

also a B I G thank you again to the op of this post because hell, as a little who exps.

with as many mental/physical illnesses and disabilities - it's a RELIEF to see that

not every caregiver is being called out in a negative manner because they are not

able to deal with someone else's mental illnesses. i cannot begin to stress how many

times i've seen someone upset because they have an illness that not everyone is 

prepared to handle. it's hard on the little themselves to deal with it and it's stupid

unfair to expect someone else to deal with it when they're not all able to. it does not

make them a bad person. just. damn. 

 

again, thank you. 

Edited February 2, 2017 by ☄ Cosmic Pengu ☆

[Guest belljar]

(deleted, had wanted to say i just saw this and my use of ddlg is really about my relationship with myself, rather than with someone else, but it's ok...)

Edited February 6, 2017 by belljar

[LittleGirlEmilia]

LittleBree's words are like gospel xD I always enjoy reading her views/opinions, since they're always right xD