My daddy wants children.

[Guest pinklemonade]

Hi, I'm just going to say this may annoy people. If I'm perfectly honest I'm not expecting much less. My daddy and I have been together for quite some time and we have been discussing the future, one thing that always comes up is children. I have never wanted children. The idea of raising them is something that quite honestly just terrifies me, and to further that, if they were even remotely like me, I strongly believe I would not be able to love them like a real mother. My daddy says he would be fine not having children but he always brings them up. I have suggested potential adoption but he has refused if. I do not want to share my daddy, and I know that sounds petty because they are only children but the things he would do with them are typically things he did with me. Maybe I am a selfish person but I am not willing to put my life aside for them. I don't want to act big and raise them, I can't do it. I don't want to leave him as he is the best thing in my life but that is not fair on him to keep a man who wants kids from fulfilling his desires.

[LonDomDad]

You've said you've never wanted children.  Worded like that, means it's possible you'll change your mind.  Your partner might be picking up on that.  If you're certain you'll never be a parent, I suggest you start saying you'll never have children.

 

Presume your partner has always known you won't have children.  Him bringing it up is an attempt to needle you into changing your mind.  You & your partner need to have a potentially relationship ending conversation.  You're presenting each other with an ultimatum.  If you are absolutely certain you'll never have kids, you present him with 2 choices: A life with you, without children; or a life without you, with children.

 

His ultimatum to you: A life with him, with children; or a life without him.  If you're certain you'll never have kids, you have to walk away.  Give him a chance to find someone who wants kids.  Don't become a parent to keep a partner.  You, him, & the kids'll all be miserable.  A hellish life.  Not everyone's built to be a parent.

 

If he decides to stay with you, he needs to not bring up having kids again.  If he does, in his heart of hearts, he wants them & you need to walk away.

[Guest pinklemonade]

We had that dreaded conversation. He laughed, because he doesn't want children that badly he just likes the idea. I was being silly. Xxxx haha thank you ! Xx

[Mikaitaku]

I have heard from littles with children, it does not sound like it keeps them from being little. what the two of you decide will be whatever it is.

[Fairy Narwhal]

I do not want children either, luckily my Daddy is over 40 years older than me and has already had his kids. They're actually older than me.

 

I could never be in a relationship with someone who truly wanted children. I know I will never change my mind about it no matter what people say to me.

 

I think it really depends on what you two want in your life together. Is there a specific reason he wants children? Is it a goal for him in his life?

 

It's just one of those things that if someone truly wants it it will always come back up.

I think the only thing you could really do is sit down and talk about it.

Establish where you are in the relationship together and how you want it to grow moving forward.

 

The idea of having kids is one thing but no one really knows what it's going to be like unless you do it.

 

My Daddy is married and poly so I share him with his wife. It's not selfish to want someone to yourself. I knew going into my relationship that I wouldn't be the only person in his life. If that's not something you've discussed before it can really be hard to cope with.

[Guest ASerpent]

@pinklemonade

I just read your post and took a look at your profile. You are 18 years old. See, when I was your age, I wasn't ready for children either. You still have about 20 years to decide, if you want kids or not. When you get a few years older, gaining life experience and maturity things usually change. Maybe you're not ready for kids now, but in 10 years things might be different.

Edited January 31, 2017 by ASerpent