daddythrowaway Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 Is this a common thing? My little and I only just met less than a month ago and she calls me her Daddy but still insists on searching for a new Daddy "just in case something better comes along". It really messes with me emotionally, we spend all day together enjoying each others company and being very intimate with each other. I don't know if I can keep on talking to her if it goes on like that. I need an objective third person point of view on this everyone, thank you.
love4senpai Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 You should tell her how you feel, maybe ask why she feels that she has to find a backup.
Guest Kittehmuffin Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 It comes down to whether or not you want to be exclusive. If you want to be her only Daddy then yes, you need to set your boundaries. Sounds like you guys need to talk and figure out if that's something you both want. I hope it works out for you. 1
Guest Bunnyblossom Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 If she's looking for another Daddy then she shouldn't be calling you Daddy. That's like calling someone "boyfriend" when they're not your boyfriend. Maybe explain that to her. 1
DaddysMonkey Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 Is this a common thing? My little and I only just met less than a month ago and she calls me her Daddy but still insists on searching for a new Daddy "just in case something better comes along". It really messes with me emotionally, we spend all day together enjoying each others company and being very intimate with each other. I don't know if I can keep on talking to her if it goes on like that. I need an objective third person point of view on this everyone, thank you. Hello there ! No , I personally do not believe this is a common thing. Most Daddys would not tolerate being a "back up" or a temporary Daddy until "something better" comes along. It sounds like you are being used to satisfy her needs until someone she thinks is better tries to be a white knight for her. But the grass isn't always greener , is it? The first red flag is that you and her met less than a month ago , which is far too little time to truly know someone or to be in this type of relationship in my opinion. Second red flag , is maybe your self worth ? To me what she is doing is technically cheating. If you are being intimate with one another and she is actively looking for others , you are hurting emotionally , and this has not been an open discussion between you two than this is cheating. Questions I do have , is if you two communicate at all ? She could have curiosities about polyamory perhaps ? Are her needs being met as a little ? Do you value yourself enough to end the relationship if she continues to do this after you express yourself ? Does she truly even want to be with you ? Are you exclusively together or did she just start calling you "Daddy"? Without communication , you will never know these things and won't be able to express yourself to her. In return , she will continue her actions and you will continue to hurt. This sounds to me like she is jumping into multiple relationships , since you say she is still searching. She is most likely talking to others in real life or online , meaning she could very well have another Daddy or be talking to Daddys to get to that stage. This type of thing is enraging to me , and should not be tolerated. Something that sounds extremely similar to this : https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/17157-can-we-talk-about-sub-frenzy-or-maybe-little-frenzy/ I have personally known people who jump into relationships like this and "played" Daddys , per say. It is not friendly or fun whether she is doing this vindictively or not since you have not consented to her actively looking. My suggestion is to break it off , and the next time you get into a relationship , wait longer than less than a month. Hope this helps. 5
James. Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 I agree with Daddysmonkey. This girl obviously doesn't respect you if she sees you as just an option until "something better comes along." She does't deserve another thought, and I suggest you break things off. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so find a fish who's loyal. 1
HeCallsMePrincess Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 no one should tolerate this behavior in a relationship, ddlg or otherwise. also, red flag for her jumping into calling you Daddy so quickly. 2
arineunha Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 (edited) i feel like she's insecure herself which is why she needs a backup, if she's hurting you emotionally..i would first tell her. then you should be doing the same and looking for a backup. she would want to come back to you, ofcourse it feels like manipulation but it depends on how much you really want her. I don't think a relationship like this would last, if she's hurting you and she's insecure herself I was like that myself where I thought I wasn't good enough for my partner and kept breaking up with him without a proper reason Edited January 21, 2017 by arineunha
shadowrider Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 In my opinion. There should never be a "NEED" for a backup. If you are committed to her and she isn't to you then there is a problem and the same is true vice versa. There may be trust issues at play but neither of you should be looking for another while in a relationship. You need to discuss your feelings and hers and decide from there. If she is always going to be looking for the next best thing then by all means leave now. If you are both looking for a backup plan, then you shouldn't need to be together to do that. Wish her luck and move on before you are more vested and she does find someone. Then what? If they leave her she'll come back to you until another comes along. 1
daddythrowaway Posted January 21, 2017 Author Report Posted January 21, 2017 Thanks everyone, I talked to her and she would still prefer to keep looking so I decided to distance myself from her and keep looking for someone else.
DaddysMonkey Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 i feel like she's insecure herself which is why she needs a backup, if she's hurting you emotionally..i would first tell her. then you should be doing the same and looking for a backup. she would want to come back to you, ofcourse it feels like manipulation but it depends on how much you really want her. I don't think a relationship like this would last, if she's hurting you and she's insecure herself I was like that myself where I thought I wasn't good enough for my partner and kept breaking up with him without a proper reason Being in a relationship , if that is even what this is.. and looking while your partner is looking is just adding more cheating to the equation and helps absolutely nobody and will more than likely cause more damage. Thanks everyone, I talked to her and she would still prefer to keep looking so I decided to distance myself from her and keep looking for someone else. Distance yourself , or break up.. if this was a relationship ? 1
Hurndauke Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 Definitely not something that is normal in a relationship, I'd confront her about it, or move on to be honest.
2Spooky4U Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 *Sigh* My little kinda has a bf, which makes it kinda weird. But being a thousand miles away from each other doesn't change the way I feel about her. I still love her to the very end and I do know what your feeling friend... sucks!
kissingkitten Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 It is hard but I think you have done the best thing for you. Clearly she is not thinking of your best interests. You need someone that's as committed as you are. Im sure you have much to share with the right little. I hope you find one soon and that you make each other very happy. Wishing you the best.
Princess-P Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 (edited) Its good that you recognize what she's doing is wrong, however I don't think that distancing yourself while looking for another little is the right thing to do. I know sometimes its hard to cut ties but remember that by not dropping her completely your allowing her to continue using you. It also means that while you look for another little your never going to be able to be honest with them or make them feel like they are special. If you tell them the truth about your situation they will feel used and like its revenge. If you lie your going to hurt them and base the beginning of a relationship in mistrust. You also can't give yourself to another little while still spending time with someone else. Your feelings are hurt because this girl treated you like shit, yet your willing to continue letting her treat you like shit by not dropping her, and willing to treat another potential little like shit by giving her the run around and holding onto someone who is doing you wrong. That's just a vicious cycle. Drop the girl using you. Heal. Then don't rush into a new relationship. Edited January 21, 2017 by Princess-P
Guest Keks Posted January 21, 2017 Report Posted January 21, 2017 (edited) Anyway, I think you need to decide what you want from your relationship now. (and I use that word in a general sense and not a romantic one). Could a friendship be possible? Do you really want to keep in contact and be her "safety Daddy". which could still be the case even if you distance yourself from her because it implies you'd still be there for her in some way. Would it be best to cut all ties and move on? It might hurt now but it might be better than basically being shown you're only second best to someone who isn't even in the picture yet on a daily basis. In the end it is your decision but I hope you find happiness, may it be with her or with someone else who treats you right. Edited January 21, 2017 by Keks
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