After my last daddy

[Littlelily09]

Honestly I'm a bit unsure about how to say how I feel.

I've had a daddy for a few months until short before New Year and everything seemed to go well until he said that he has too much of a stress in his studies and can't be my daddy anymore (we met many times in real life as well).

So I didn't have a daddy anymore. At first I thought that I could kind of be little on my own, but that just made me remember my time with him and thus made me sad. So I stopped trying to be little (it's only been for about three weeks so far).

But somehow it changed, at the moment I somehow get irritated when thinking of being little, even wishing that I weren't a little and I'm unsure of what I should do.

 

Did anybody make similar experiences and does someone have tips?

 

At the moment I have a very stressful time in school with many exams per week, so this whole situation doesn't really help either and I would be grateful for some advice.

[Daddyddlg]

Maybe try talking to him when his busy period is over. Talk about how u feel and what u miss 

[Guest whatever]

In times of stress it can be hard to enjoy your little side. Don't pressure yourself into being little because you are nore likely to ruin it for yourself.

When I find that I can't be little I like to have a me day on my days off. Run yourself a bubble bath if you can. If not just have a nice warm shower with nice smelling soaps.

Why not try watching some movies? Or colouring? Anything that will help you relax. The more relaxed you are, the more your little side will come back to you.

 

Now having said all that, being stressed is hard on caregivers too. They are often expected to shoulder the burden of their little so don't usually like appearing weak. Perhaps I am wrong but it sounds to me as though you are angry with your last daddy. I know it hurts but try not to blame him. When things have calmed down with studies for both of you, why not talk about it in detail.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

(Apologies in advance for the essay that ensues)

First of all, I'm sorry that the end of that relationship has made you feel terrible about a thing you love. You have my empathy. <3

 

Step back from the focus on Little stuff for a moment. 

 

When anyone's relationship with another ends, you always think of the things you did together.

E.g. An ex broke up with me whom was nuts about Star Trek- 5 years later, I still hated Star Trek.

 

The break in any relationship leaves a mark like that, where you hate anything associated with the pain they've made you feel. 

Which I suppose you probably already might have experienced.

It's just that this time it's marred something closer to your heart.

 

You've just gotta work really hard to separate the feelings you had as a Little for the guy, and the feelings you have AS a Little.

Because a huge part of the enjoyment of being a Little is the weight lifted off your shoulders, from complicated emotions and 'grey areas' in life.

It should help you, not make you feel worse. 

Think about why you enjoy being Little in the first place.

Don't think about the cutesy things you might've done just for him to think you're cuter, or to get punishments for being cheeky, or to get his praise.

 

Colour in because you feel happy doing it.

Curl up in a ball with a plushy, because it makes you feel safe.

Watch cartoons or 'kids' movies that are cheerful (stay away from stuff that you KNOW has super sad parts, just for a while).

Play with toys and appreciate them, that they're there for you ALWAYS. No matter what.

And put your hair up in a childlike fashion because it makes YOU feel cute/pretty.

 

But most of all you'll need time. And if you need to take a break from Little stuff, do it. Don't listen to all of us if your gut feeling is that you need a break from it. Come back to it when you miss it or need it. 

 

Sorry again for the essay. I just care bout anyone losing their Little on account of heartache. It's very sad.