attraction.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

this isn't an attack on anyone or any post, it's just me, yet again, making a

comment about what i often observe on the forums. this time it's attraction on a

physical level.

 

to begin, we're not bad for not liking the way someone looks. we're not bad for

factoring that into our relationships. we're not bad for not wanting to be with 

someone because we find them unattractive. we're not bad for having our

preferences. 

 

i mean we could delve deep into the reasoning why people want someone that

is attractive to  them but i think my knowledge of the biology of human attraction

is somewhat limited. 

 

i don't think it makes much sense ( or is at all fair ) to shit on someone for not

liking and wanting to be with you because you don't appear attractive to them.

YES there's personality and the emotional bond you can give but seeing as

humans are here to reproduce like every other animal on this planet, we want

to breed and settle with what we find to be visually appealing (  not to mention

the way they smell, how healthy they are, and voice, i think ). i'm not here to

preach or teach but to remind you that it's okay that someone doesn't want to

be with you because of your looks. just like it's okay that you don't want to be

with someone because you find them unattractive. 

 

so, don't get bent out of shape over it, keep your chin up and keep on looking -

someone will find you and like you for not only the way you look but who you 

are as a person. 

 

i'm a very thick, chubby, curvy little thing, my mother is white and my father is

black. i am considered overweight for my height and i'm sure there are PLENTY

of people who don't find me attractive ( i know a few personally ). i don't dislike

them for it, i'm more of a 'oh well, your loss!' at least i was until i ended up with

a Daddy who adores every single thing about me to tiny, tiny pieces.

 

be thankful that there are so many people of shapes and sizes out there mixin'

it up, it makes this place bigger and a lot more beautiful. don't be ashamed

for who you are but don't shame someone else for not liking it. move on

and find your perfect little/caregiver who is gonna appreciate you 'till the 

last breath you take. i know it's easier said than done but that doesn't make

it any less true.

Edited January 19, 2017 by ✨Tiny Squish✨

[Indi Baby]

Absolute perfection! My daddy never thought he would find someone because he is really short for a guy, hes 5'5 and he was always self conscious. But now he feel so lucky because he has me to truly love him despite his height,  and im 5'9 to its basically polar opposites in height so its really funny 

[arineunha]

i had issues with how I perceived myself because i got dumped by my first ex even though I didn't find him too attractive at the beginning, he was a sweet guy. i think he felt insecure when he said he didn't think he could make me happy and dumped me. I don't know the whole reason but I never reached him on an emotional level..

Edited January 20, 2017 by arineunha

[Hurndauke]

Well said.

[Prince_Towelie]

If I may, I’d like to weigh in on this topic, on the more biological / bio-chemical side of things.  I am no expert, but I have done some research into the nature of general attraction and sexuality in nature, and how it applies to humans, as well.

1. “The complexity of sexual attraction implies that it is designed for genetic trade.”
   1. i.e. Species evolve faster by exchanging and recombining genes (sex).  This allows for more and increasingly useful adaptations.
2. All life has come from a symbiosis of different organic molecules / cells.  Mitochondria, the organelles which act as power stations in each one of our cells, for example, were once free living bacteria, it is now firmly established. 
3. Physical attraction is the way our genes reproduce themselves.  (Matt Ridley, “The Red Queen; Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature”.  Harper Perennial, New York, 1993.)

 

What does this mean for people, and for the Dd / Lg dynamic?  Well, in people, physical attraction can matter down to the cellular level; i.e. which organelles go better with which.  However, human intelligence, as a spandrel of evolution, has allowed people to transcend biological impulses and form relationships built on mutual things besides pure biological attributes. 

 

This does not mean that all people can ignore their biological impulses for the ‘higher’ good, but it shows how the majority of people are victims of their own human nature, and also how some people can purposely choose to rise above pure physical concerns and focus on more idealistic concerns, or relationships.  (Which leaves hope for us all...

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

I can't read the post cuz of the light coloured font ._."

[Guest ~DaddysLilMonster~]

When you truly love someone, their looks won't matter at all. Two human beings in love have a bond deeper than just looks.

[DaddyAlphaca]

I believe physical attraction is important, there is something called preferences and it is okay to have it. Not being their preferences doesn't mean we are ugly~

 

I am asian and sometimes i get impression like "I'm sorry I'm not into asian" or "I'm not your type" or even "You are ugly", I'm fine by that since i don't find everyone in this world beautiful for me either (although i believe everyone is pretty in their own way!)

 

But when the time is right, there will be someone who love us just like we are! And I'm sure they find us attractive physically and of course by our personality as well!

 

That's my opinion though

[SkunkPrincess]

I've read somewhere that people are indeed attracted to each other with not only looks and personality, but also their voice and smell.

 

People who like each other's smell and voice are most likely to be attracted to each other.

[Guest mlkykit]

I dunno, I feel like a lot of people take the "everyone is beautiful" thing way too far, and I just feel like it's a fake movement overall. The movement doesn't emphasize loving yourself regardless of anyone else's opinion, but rather emphasizes validation from others. Like, "everyone should find you beautiful no matter what, because screw personal preferences - those people are shallow pigs". 

 

I think a lot of people need to stop relying on validation from everyone else and actually start loving themselves. You can still be beautiful if Tom or Judy down the street think you're ugly, you can still be appealing and deserving of love if Jermaine doesn't want to go out with you. Different people find different things appealing and that's okay. Not being attractive to someone is okay. What isn't okay is shaming the people who don't find you attractive and styling them as "shallow"; I think as long as they weren't being disrespectful or horrid, there's no need to sound off on them.

 

For a lot of people, physical attraction isn't the sole criteria they have for dating, but it's equally important to everything else. A lot of people will argue "well, if you love someone, looks won't matter" but fail to see that no one falls in love when they first meet. Being married or together for a while and having your partner go through physical changes then leaving them for that for that sole reason is way different from declining companionship from strangers you don't find attractive. Humans are visual creatures - men more so than women - we gravitate to what we find appealing. 

 

Just love you for you regardless of everyone else. Find validation in yourself rather than in Patricia next door or Curtis at work and you'll be a lot happier.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

 A lot of people will argue "well, if you love someone, looks won't matter" but fail to see that no one falls in love when they first meet.

 

this. this gets me a whole hell of a lot. i don't like it because it doesn't make sense

and it seems like wishful thinking 10/10 times. 

 

i feel like a lot of people base everything off of what they know, or think they know

( most often a personal exp ) and fail to see that there is actually something going on besides emotion there. 

the science of attraction to one another is actually pretty fucking cool but i bet my

ass that there are people out there who will up and down deny it. looks matter,

they're always going to matter. that's how we work here in nature.

 

it makes me wonder how many people are happy in relationships where they think

their partner is unattractive. 

 

 

 Different people find different things appealing and that's okay. Not being attractive to someone is okay. What isn't okay is shaming the people who don't find you attractive and styling them as "shallow"; I think as long as they weren't being disrespectful or horrid, there's no need to sound off on them.

 

this clicks with me as well, also it baffles me that there are people out there who

get so bent out of shape over someone asking for a picture before attempting

to engage towards a romantic sense of things. they're not bad, creepy, and it's

sure as fuck not a red flag. looks matter no matter how people want to deny it.

but in no way am i saying that it's all that makes up a person, personality is a

factor of attraction, too, this just struck

a cord with me after seeing threads recently about people asking for pictures

sooner rather than later - it'd be best to get that type of stuff out of the way 

before you're invested and they realize you're not their cup of tea.

 

also about the everyone is beautiful being a fake movement, eh, it's a 50/50

with me. someone is going to be beautiful to another no matter what anyone

else thinks, so, in part it's true. it's just that usually when i see the 'everyone is

beautiful' thing it came down to a weight thing, telling people who are unhealthily

obese they're beautiful and nothing is wrong with them is not okay imho. 

Edited May 22, 2017 by Candy Minx ♡

[kittybaby]

I wouldn't have been attracted to my daddy if I met him randomly but we were friends in middle school. So we just started talking long distance but it all worked out. I'm attracted to personal style and daddy dosnt have much of that but he has a slim build and clear skin.