Having a hard time showing my feelings

[Guest littlekittenlovescuddles]

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Edited March 1, 2017 by littlekittenlovescuddles

[Guest QueenJellybean]

Sometimes, when we're anxious, things that might appear silly and insignificant to others feel like huge, looming monsters to us. I know mine do after I'm doing babbling like a brook about all the irrational things I'm afraid of -- but that's what anxiety and fear will do to people.

 

Nothing you are feeling, doing, or saying is wrong. It's actually crazy good that you're /able/ to communicate to your partner what you are worried about, especially if he treats it that way in response. Good on you! The way you feel is always, always right, even if it is a little irrational later on. The way he seems to be dealing with you talking to him sounds a lot like someone who doesn't really understand what anxiety is. Have you sat him down and explained that you know some of what you are worried about might not make any sense, but it's the way that you feel? I would also highly suggest telling him how it makes you feel when he belittles your emotions; in the moment, anxiety can be absolutely terrifying and it can be maddening to know that someone thinks what you are feeling isn't important.

 

If he's still not willing to listen, or try, then I think the issue isn't something you need to find a solution for. He does. 

[cuppycakes]

I agree with MissJellyBean, but also wanted to add something I've seen work for a lot of other littles on here. Having anxiety can make it hard to communicate sometimes, especially if your partner is doing something (even unintentionally) that makes you more anxious. I recommend writing a letter or an e-mail. That way you don't have to worry that you might say something wrong, because you can fix it before they even hear it.

 

You can even be there when he reads the letter, that way if he has any questions or concerns you can address them right away. Make sure to tell him everything you need him to hear, and don't be afraid of giving it to him. It should be even less scary than a conversation.

 

And if he tries to dismiss you again, then just tell him that this letter and conversation is very important to you, even if he can't understand it yet. Maybe even put some notes on how your anxiety makes you feel in the letter so he can better understand your brain process. Having anxiety can make a lot of little things seem very big and very scary, so explaining that to him could do a lot of good.

[Guest littlekittenlovescuddles]

This gave me a lot to think about, thank you so very much