I need some advice

[Daddysprincess4581]

So I am relatively new to the dynamics of DD/lg as is my Daddy. We are trying something new in the hopes that both of our fantasies can be fulfilled. However that isn't the case. My Daddy is an amazing partner who is caring, loving, and an amazing man. We have been together for almost 4 years. We have children together. Every other aspect of our life is perfect. Except for this.

 

I can never seem to get out of my head and hang up the "RL Mommy" hat that I wear throughout the day. My Daddy wants me to act like I'm less than 13 with a change in vernacular, speaking voice, and actions but I don't know how to do that. Last night he fulfilled on of my long time fantasies even though it made him very uncomfortable. But I don't know how to do that for him. I need someone to teach me how to be a better little.

 

I need someone to teach me how to play games again, how to talk like a little. Somewhere along the way of life I have lost that part of myself and I want to get it back. I need to get it back. I have to get it back. For him and for me. Please someone e help me. I do t want him to close himself off like he is threatening to do. He is saying that je is just going to bottle all of those thoughts and feelings up and never let them see the light of day. Please will someone help me.

 

I want to be his total little. And I don't know how.

[Guest ASerpent]

I guess it just has to come sort of naturally. Every relationship is different and every 'little' is different. You have to be yourself. For example: When I see on Facebook/or wherever a Care Bear picture (or something similar) I get quite excited and become 'little' about that. I got a cute bathrobe with ears on the hood. I get excited about that, too. I hope you know what I mean. You just have to try to find your 'little' self and the things that make you get excited. I guess you probably can't force yourself to a 'little' side. Maybe you should just try out different 'little' things to see what you like and what might help you on your way. Edited January 18, 2017 by ASerpent

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

You can't force yourself to do something that doesn't come naturally to you. Every person is different. Everything Little is different. I don't think you need someone to teach you to play games again. Just relax and let what happens happen. Don't fight something you like because all your life you've been told it's wrong, or inappropriate for your age. Some Littles are Littles, some "Littles" are Middles. Some identify with a Little Age and some do no. Some that identify with a LittleAge of 2-4 likes using sippy cups, binkies, diapers some that identify with the same age might only like stuffies and cartoons. It's a personal thing for everyone.

 

You need to tell your Daddy to stop threatening you and himself. You both need to talk about what you both want. You need to work on it together to figure out what's going to work best for your relationship. Threatening is causing stress for both of you, and that isn't helping ether of you. It's ok to feel silly, or strange, or weird. It's ok to feel a little uncomfortable or unsure. It's NOT OK to feel unsafe! It's ok to try something, learn you don't like it and never do it again. It's ok to be different from other Littles or DD/LG relationships. It's NOT OK to be forced into trying things that you don't want anything to do with at all.

 

This is a relationship, just like any relationship it takes both people working together to figure it out. Four years, that's a lot of time building your relationship. I'm sure your relationship is much different from four years ago. Well, this DD/LG relationship is the same way. It takes time. It takes work. And for new people just learning about this lifestyle or kink it takes learning what you like and you don't like. Two way street. MUST WORK TOGETHER!!!

[Guest thelittlestcorgi]

Threats are a HUGE red flag. Doing something that makes him uncomfortable doesn't make you obligated, and doing something that makes YOU uncomfortable doesn't make him obligated either. Relationships are not about that kind of thing. I strongly recommend talking that out with him, because that's not healthy behavior and should not be happening, much less in a relationship dynamic and/or kink where trust is a very big deal. That lack of communication is why a lot of people seek couple's counselling, so it's definitely something to be concerned about.

[alotalittle]

Firstly, you and him both need to discuss that threats shouldn't be happening from either side. Threats don't fuel good communication and they build resentment even if you comply to his desires. The amount of pressure that threats put on a relationship are sometimes difficult to come back from. Please don't start going down the road of threatening each other.

 

Now, on to the rest. You said that you're both relatively new to this dynamic, which means that there's tons of room to learn/grow/improve for both of you. I have found that when introducing any new sexual/romantic dynamic, that increasing discussion about it helps a ton. When my partner and I first started wanting to introduce BDSM into our life, we would spend hours chatting about it. When we introduced DDlg, we spent hours chatting about it. When we introduced crossdressing/feminization/pegging, we spent months chatting about it before we ever did anything. The point is, new dynamics are super fun, but also can be scary and/or overwhelming. They require a lot of patience, understanding, and communication in order to be successful. And those three qualities don't stop once you full indulge in the dynamic or even the lifestyle. If anything, they must increase. 

 

You aren't "in touch" with your little side, most likely because you haven't indulged in that part of yourself for a very long time. Unfortunately, for many of us, it's not a switch that can simply be turned on and off at will when we first start out (or even ever). You and your partner both need to be patient with your little side and encouraging of her. She's never going to want to come out if she's concerned with threats. And your little side can't completely conform to all of his wants/desires all the time. You have to figure out what kind of little you are and what things your little side enjoys. Your partner should want to help you in this endeavor, especially if he wants to indulge in your little side as well.

 

My main advice to the both of you is take threats off the table, open up communication, and offer some true patience and understanding to each other. You love each other. You have a family together. You have the rest of your lives to figure this dynamic (and probably many more dynamics) out together. There's no need to rush.

[Princess-P]

Its not right for him to use emotional manipulation against you. Scaring you by saying he's going to shut down, which is majorly damaging to a relationship, is so very wrong.

 

You can't just become a little. If it's not natural to you it just won't happen. No one can help you yo act like a little because not any of us are like the other. We just are who we are naturally and normally in our daily lives.

 

However if you are just looking to roleplay or age play in the bedroom thats different. But again we still can't tell you what to do as we don't know your or your partner well enough to suggest what might turn either of you on.

 

You just have to ask him what he wants you to do. It sounds like theres no proper communication happening hete. And if what he wants makes you uncomfortable then don't do it. And him getting mad or shutting you out and threatening you into doing it is abuse.

 

Don't let being a mom put you off either. If this type of roleplay interests you keep in mind that your only play acting. Many of us who are in this dynamic as a lifestyle have children as well and we remain little all day everyday even while caring for our kids.

[PrincessClara]

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND!!! I always hid my little side because I was always told how childish I was etc. Then when my husband and I got together and we started exploring different things I found this dynamic and was like *click* this is me! He accepted me completely but now...now i don't know how to get it all back again. I mean, some days I am fully relaxed and little and it's great, but I work full time, we have 2 kids and I'm pregnant and the mommy side of me and the grown up side of me rules most of the time. I don't know how to get through to myself that it's OKAY to let it go and it's OKAY to be that childish person I want and need to be more often. 

 

All I can say is talk talk talk it out with your daddy. I do with mine and sometimes it helps. All I can do is keep trying to encourage my little side to come out when I'm home and trust that Daddy will be okay to run things. It's hard, but I know it will happen. I believe you can do it too! Get on the floor and play games with your kids or color with them. When I do that, it helps me be more little. Buy cute plates and cups that speak to your little side. Get your own coloring books, watch kids movies etc and just let go. Eventually it will be easier and you wont have to work on it so hard. Until then, make sure your daddy knows you need his patience and understanding, not threats about locking away his feelings. 

[Guest Loki]

No one should be threatening you, especially someone who is your Daddy. That is NOT a healthy thing (unless it's agreed upon, but I'm assuming this isn't)

 

Becoming little again comes easy to some. For others it's much harder. So I'll try my best to give you some ways to get little!

 

Eat some snacks that say "I'm little" and make you feel good. Draw or colour and don't care how it looks - just doodle. Hug stuffies, watch shows aimed at your little age, sing and dance. Try various things and remember this is about safety and love, so if either of you are too uncomfortable then maybe ease up a bit and go more slowly.

 

Most of all - ❤talk❤ with your Daddy. Communication is key!

 

Hope this helps.