PrincessClara Posted January 16, 2017 Report Posted January 16, 2017 So, my Daddy is also my husband and he is really frustrating me lately. He always makes promises to me and he never keeps them. Like yesterday, he promised we would get the rope out and have fun and things and I even agreed to some things I wouldn't normally just to try and make sure he would do it...and it didn't happen. He's been doing it with every day things too like promising he would do the dishes and then not doing them. Yes I've talked to him, several times...but it doesn't change. I know i don't help as much as I should with house chores, but I work full time and pay all the bills and things and I'm pregnant so I'm exhausted by the time I get home. IDK...I just needed to vent b/c it's so frustrating...I'm not sure what else to do anymore.
Guest ASerpent Posted January 16, 2017 Report Posted January 16, 2017 Sending you a huge hug I can totally understand your situation. Does he work too or does he stay at home? I mean, if you go to work and he's home, he should do the majority of household chores. Just my opinion.
PrincessClara Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Posted January 16, 2017 He's in school right now to be an airplane mechanic. we only have one car so he has to pick me up after work too and stuff but still. I feel like he should do most of the household work too because I just can't right now. Even though I have a sit down office job, I am still totally worn out by the end of the day, Growing a tiny human is exhausting work. I mean I do stuff on the weekends, it may not be alot but I do things too. Plus our older kids help with a lot of things too. I just wish he wouldn't say he will take care of things if he's really not going to. That's the part that gets to me. Like, I've been asking him for a month to do this one thing, and he keeps saying he will...and never does. But if the kids don't do something he asks right away,then they get in trouble. It's hard to feel little when your Dom isn't being Dom...he's not being very good at c/g stuff and he always says he's sorry and he will work on doing better but then it's the same thing....idk...i'm just tired and wanted to whine I guess.
Guest ASerpent Posted January 16, 2017 Report Posted January 16, 2017 Could you maybe afford a household help? To remove a little the pressure for all. Maybe until the baby is there.
PrincessClara Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Posted January 16, 2017 I've looked into it and no...maids are SUPER expensive and we barely make it between paychecks.
PrincessClara Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Posted January 16, 2017 One of my friends is going to come and do a good cleaning on the house before baby though, so that will be nice. It just doesn't help the rest of the time.
Guest ASerpent Posted January 16, 2017 Report Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) OK. I'm from Germany. Over here it's not that expensive, so I thought it might be an option. What, if you make a chart for your family. Then everybody (including your older kids) knows what chore to do. And everybody is responsible for his/her thing to get done. Edited January 16, 2017 by ASerpent 1
littlestlolli Posted January 16, 2017 Report Posted January 16, 2017 I agree with ASerpent. We have 8 people that live in one house and we have 2 younger kids here but everyone has a role. we all pitch in on chores and if the kids (there are kids and 5 adults in the house) don't do things, they are in trouble and the adults get mad at the other if things don't get done.. You are a family unit... maybe explain to your husband/ DD that you are pregnant and do need the extra assistance. sit him down and talk to him about the chart and maybe explain to him that you guys are supposed to be working as a unit and that him not helping you is putting stress on your relationship too? From what I read, its not making ya'll's married intimate relationship and DD/LG relationship very easy.
PrincessClara Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Posted January 16, 2017 Yeah basically. I don't feel like I can be little if I have to take care of all the things and get onto him for things all the time. That's the opposite of what I want to do with my Dom. I will try a chore chart again, we've done it in the past but it never works out. Somethings gotta give and change though because I can't keep going like this you know?
Guest ASerpent Posted January 16, 2017 Report Posted January 16, 2017 (edited) I'm totally with you on that. You can't have a fulltime job and do all the chores at home. Maybe you can make everybody sign the chart, as a sort of 'family contract'? What about the ddlg dynamic? Did it work out better a few month ago? Edited January 16, 2017 by ASerpent
Sparklefrosting Posted January 16, 2017 Report Posted January 16, 2017 I was in this same situation but my hubby worked part time and I worked a physically demanding job up until my due date, it was hell. The thing my husband said he had a problem with was remembering or having the motivation to do chores so we decided to do them together with him doing the heavier work. Maybe find out exactly why your husband is having a hard time sticking to his promises? And set aside time for doing chores together and time for bonding?
PrincessClara Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Posted January 16, 2017 We are still working out our dd/lg thing. Like...I have a hard time being submissive because I do all the head of household things. I WANT to be, and I know I'm a little etc, its' just hard for me to give up the control. Subsequently...he is not very good at enforcing himself as a Dom. He tends to give in to me whining etc and doesn't do any of the punishment things we have discussed. I know i'm difficult...because when he DOES decide to punish me my middle comes out and i rebel harder, it's jut a defense mechanism from my years of being abused. But I can't work through that if he doesn't you know? IDK...all kind of things are hard right now. I didn't get much sleep last night so that plus pregnancy hormones are probably contributing a lot to this feeling today. This forum is just the only place I can vent without him seeing it and getting all upset. Like I said, we do talk these things out...it just doesn't stick. *throws hands up* UGH!
daddies_velvet_kitty Posted January 16, 2017 Report Posted January 16, 2017 Honestly, I don't understand what you are going through and I'm sorry this is happening to you. But from an outsiders perspective this seems like a relationship problem more than a ddlg dynamic problem. My best advice is to when you talk to him about it, make sure he understands the severity of the problem. Maybe he sees it as a yea yea later kind of thing. But if you really make sure he knows that this isn't small to you and very important he may change his behavior. And hopefully without all this stress the ddlg dynamic in your relationship will start to blossom. Also I'm from DFW Texas too!
PrincessClara Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Posted January 16, 2017 I know the root of it is a relationship thing. We've been together for 6 years and things just kind of cycle. I just feel like right now it's hard. Again probably mostly due to pregnancy hormones and excessive tiredness. I'll have a talk with him again and hopefully get things going back how they should. I just needed a place to vent and whine about it for a bit. So thank you all for your help/advise etc.
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