Punishments... I just can't do it!

[SuperDaddyJ]

Hello all!

 

I'm new to being a daddy to my wonderfully adorable little. But I'm struggling with one aspect of it and that is the punishments associated with rules.

 

So we sat down and made out rules and I'm working on rewards. But I just can't do the punishments because she's far too cute and adorable and it's really hard for me to punish her. I can't even begin to think of things that I can actually punish her with that I'd feel comfortable actually doing. 

 

Any advice?

[Guest]

Could try have her write an apology note or write lines.

Short time outs

limiting her TV watching time

Make her clean things (dusting a room, taking out the trash from the bath rooms)

 

Pushemnts are not meant to be mean they are meant to help you learn. And wanting your little to learn better is a good thing.

 

As far as rewards

Staying up 30 mins past bed time

Having a special bed time story

Getting a new coloring book or stuffy

 

 

Hope this was a little helpful

Edited January 16, 2017 by Arya

[daddies_velvet_kitty]

I agree with Arya, It's more about helping your little learn and be better than to hurt her. A small punishment followed by positive reinforcement for me is the best from of training. As our protectors daddy's have to make sure we are happy, healthy and taken care of, so sometimes for our own good we need to get punished. If you look at punishments as more of a training way then a hurtful way you may be able to see the positive reasons for punishments. But remember punishments aren't required and even a simple I'm disappointed in you can be very effective. Just figure out what works for your relationship and have fun

[CrazyLittleBuggaBoo]

Being cute and adorable does make it hard to punish or even say no to. But punishments are also something you both agree too. You'll need to find something that doesn't seem so 'mean' to yourself but also remind yourself that your doing this to help and in a way support your Little. Punishment doesn't mean spankings. Like already said it could be writing lines or time outs. You could take away snacks or dessert from one or all meals. Take away a current toy for an amount of time. If you where going to eat out, eat at home instead. If you do something special on a normal base(like daily or weekly) skip it(like painting nails, eating out, bedtime stories). Also remember different level of punishment for different behavior or continued behavior. Your Little should always agree to any form of punishment before you even try to enforce it. It might be best for you to make a list of not so 'mean' punishments you could get use to enforcing or deal with enforcing and have her pick throw them and match them to rules or whatever. And remember just because their was no spankings doesn't mean their isn't aftercare you can still do. Which might in turn help you feel better about having to enforce the punishment. Have cuddle time after the punishment and talk about the reasons the punishment was enforced. Remind her that you love her very much, that you want to help her learn and be the person you both know she can be. This is way talking to your Little about rules is so very important. Rules Little want for themselves are they way they are trying to conduct themselves, sometimes Littles just don't have the will power or attention span  to remember some of this stuff on our own.

[Princess-P]

If punishing her makes you really uncomfortable then don't do it.

 

Having a CG/l relationship actually has nothing to do with rules and punishments.

 

However if you have both desired that you want to establish rules but you struggle with punishing her then just don't. You can jeep the rules and when she breaks them just tell her your disappointed in her. Explain why the rule is important for her well being and move on. You shouldn't do things your uncomfortable with.

 

You can also use a rewards system. Positive reinforcement can work just as well as punishments.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

First of all, good job looking for help! I think we as humans get too worried about what others will think of us.

 

Secondly, how does your little feel about punishments? Have you discussed this together? Does she want them? What kind of punishments does she want, if any? While I agree that you should not force yourself to punish her... are you even sure punishments are something she wants?

 

Personally, I love punishments. Okay that was said the wrong way. I NEED punishments. It's a vital part of my dynamic. I also enjoy funishments and I enjoy rewards. But I absolutely positively need rules and punishments. I can not handle emotional punishments. During a play session a few weeks back Daddy was play punishing me and was lecturing me and telling me I was a bad girl. At the end of the play session I ended up in tears. I didn't know it before, but I learned this was a limit for me. It wasn't even a real punishment but the way I felt made me feel so worthless. He provided proper after care and has done no such thing since. Proper communication is vital.