I'm scared.

[ScaredLittleKitten]

Hi everyone. I'm kinda close to tears right now... It's kinda a long story so please stick with me. I've been dating this guy for about 2 years, I know I love him, and he loves me. We've been in the DD/lg relationship for a while. I'm a little and he was the structure and rules I needed. A long while back, he said that he thought he might be a switch, and that I had the qualities of a switch as well. So, we switched, and I was mommy and he was my little, and it still fit us perfectly and we were both happy. Back then I had no control over when I went into or when I came out of little space, so when I woke up the next morning I was in little space, I freaked out, I was scared that he was gonna forget my little space and I'd never have a daddy again, he said he expected that and that he was never gonna be a little again. Anytime he started to go into little space he got upset. Yesterday, he asked me if he could be selfish and go into little space, I said yes because I had more control now. He changed his mind again. Then later he told me, he didn't want to be a daddy any more, that he hadn't felt like being one in a long time. He went into little space and I cared for him, because I was too close to tears to fight him, I needed a distraction, it was my idea, then went to bed. Today I wake up to texts from him saying, that if he goes into little space he's not gonna want to come back out. Please help me, I don't know what to do, I'm scared I've lost my daddy and put myself into a position I can't handle. I know I'm a little, I'm not sure if I'm a mommy.

[Guest Ginger]

You need to tell him. This is obviously very distressing to you. Keeping it bottled up will only serve to hurt you both in the long run.

 

I'm sorry this is happening to you though. I hope it all gets better soon.

[ScaredLittleKitten]

You need to tell him. This is obviously very distressing to you. Keeping it bottled up will only serve to hurt you both in the long run.

 

I'm sorry this is happening to you though. I hope it all gets better soon.

 

I actually just told him. And now neither of us are happy. And we're taking a break. I don't understand. He said he doesn't want to be my daddy anymore. I need him to be my daddy, I'm freaking out!

[cuppycakes]

Is him being your daddy more important than him being your partner?

 

Being a mommy is a lot of work, and so is being a daddy. If neither of you are up for it, then maybe you should decide together if having this lifestyle is more important than your relationship. It sounds like you two want different things, and that's okay. It might mean you just have to go your separate ways forever. And I know that can be hard to hear.

 

If you really can't bear to be without each other, then it's alright to compromise. Compromise is great if you can reach one. You could be switches again, but you would have to make sure he absolutely knows that you can't be a mommy forever (and he can't be a daddy forever either).

 

I know this might be hard to hear, but you need to hear it. You don't NEED him to be your daddy (or your partner). You are capable of living without him, and if you have the mindset that you can't do it, then you should reevaluate some things. Your life isn't over, and you will bounce back. You're allowed to feel sad, but it's just not healthy to think you NEED someone. Take some deep breaths and realize you're still alive and well.

 

I hope you can make it work with him, but if you can't then that is okay. You can move on.

[Princess-P]

What was said above is very true. You can also keep in mind that if he doesn't feel like a Daddy and feels more like a little there's no reason at all you can't just both be littles. There's no need for a caregiver at all.

 

If your truly in love you accept someone for who they are not for what they can do for you. So either accept him for who he is and he can accept you for who you are or understand that you just may not really belong together.

[Barbie Lumina]

As Princess-P said, you could both just be littles, it's a lot of fun I'd imagine. My daddy will play with me without going into littlespace, but he'll act a bit more childish and it's so cute and we have a lot of fun with it!

 

However, I can't imagine my daddy losing his DD side and I can't begin to think about the affects that would have on our relationship. 

 

You could both get caregivers/babysitters. 

 

But to what cuppycakes said 'Is him being your daddy more important than him being your partner?'

 

We sometimes have to remember that even though we are littles, we ARE adults, we ARE big, we have the capacity in our brains to think realistically and logically, even though it can be extremely difficult.. Anyways, my point, you both need to sit down AS BIGS and have an adult conversation about your relationship dynamic/how it's going to work/where it's going. Vanilla couples do it, too! Adult conversations are so... boooooo!   but they need to be done!

 

I wish you the best of luck with it though!   

[Child Of Light]

My partner and I went into what we started with "Demestic Discapline" (me being the submissive) and him being the Dom, with it just being purely my desires. I knew he had cutesy side and need to be comforted. etc. We both accommodated both of our needs, even when they clashed. However we aleays swore that if the dynamic ever interfered with our relationship, there would be no more. I know your upset about loosing the dynamic -- but is taking that dynamic away, worth also loosing your partner? If you love and care about him --- talk to him. Be there. He wasn't happy in the Daddy role anymore, and that's okay, people change. But there might be other compermises you can have if you really love him.