How Do You Make Your Little Feel Little in a Distance Relationship?

[Guest Daddy'sShyKitten]

My boyfriend/daddy is sort of new to the whole daddy dom role and doesn't really know how to make me feel little (or, as i put it, like a kitten). We don't really get to see each other so most of our interaction is online based. Another thing is that even I don't know what he could say that would make me feel little. 
 

Anyways~

 

Im curious as to how the caregivers in this forum make their little feel little when in a distance relationship. 

 

Littles are welcome to comment too!

 

Thanks!

[Johnny Hammersticks]

*goes to desk drawer and opens*

*Takes out a ball of purple yarn and walks over to little kitty*

*Kneels down, holds loose end and rolls ball towards cute kitten*

*Smiles*

 

Like that ^

[ChibiPuppy]

Babytalk is amazingly effective. Referring to favorite stuffies and pretending to have talked to them is pretty effective as well. The most important part is to realize that it's not the caregivers job to make the little feel little. Their job is to make you happy while you are little and adapt to your moods. No little is little 100% of the time, so adaptation is important. Learning to read your moods and figuring out when to do babytalk or talk normally is a very relevant and important skill a caregiver learns over time.

 

Try to put less focus on him making you feel little and more focus on him learning to deal with when you are little. Putting pressure on his part as the caregiver can have a lot of negative repercussions in the relationship, so take it slow and let him learn.

[MisterJ]

I formulated a response to this that kind of turned into a list of my "10 Observations and Tips for Happy Days."

 

Enjoy
 

********

 

I've been an observer of relationships since I can remember... My parent's divorce, my father's second divorce, my mother's arguably unfulfilling marriage, my old friend struggling with being a young single father, and of course - the one everybody can relate to - losing friends to their relationships until the cracks begin to creep in.

 

So, given these rather grim observations over the years, I've always known what I wanted to avoid in a relationship. Given my experiences the last few months as the firm and nurturing "Daddy/Dom" to a "little" whose awesomeness is superhuman, here are 10 concepts that I believe are worth sharing when it comes to working towards an "ideal" relationship. 

 

At least, these seem to be working for me...

 

1. **Morse Code and Smoke Signals** 

 

A clear and accepting line of communication is an immense help in any relationship - especially romantic ones, and, even more especially, those rooted in some kind of kink dynamic. Bravery and self acceptance reign supreme here. No matter one's level of experience, most of us ultimately wish to share the experience of manifesting desires.

 

2. **A Frank and Jocular Conversation**

 

It is important to be able to sit down with your partner and have an open discussion about verbal triggers. What names bring out the Daddy in your man? Does she like the way you say some things more firmly than others? What names put her in little space? Does he find brattiness arouses the dominant streak in him? Again, be honest and brave. From what I've seen, some of the best relationships involve you, and a lover whom you can ultimately call your best friend; and I think the best kind of love is both unconditional and gratuitous.

 

3. **The Waiting Game**

 

Patience and understanding are also pivotal ingredients as you learn new things about yourself and one another. The goal posts of any "kinky" relationship will always be moving as the exchange evolves. Don't be scared - it's organic, so it must be good for you.

 

3. **Evenings, Nights, Weekends, and other random combinations**

 

It can be important to establish  the extent to which you will involve the D/s lifestyle in your daily life/relationship. Do you wish to live it 24/7 as a lifestyle? Is it something you're willing to practice only in a more intimate setting? What verbal or nonverbal signals will you employ to convey your intent when in a certain frame? Is kink something that is not sexual for you at all? 

 

Each couple is always going to be different. Such is the way of humanity. Negotiating personal parameters will likely result in harmony in any relationship. The capacity to renegotiate without erratic emotion is a rare commodity to be cherished, and can affirm each party's level of comfort and excitement.

 

4. **Gandalf says that you shall maybe pass at some point in the future** 

 

It's healthy to establish some kind of guidelines early on regarding the way in which the two of you will relate to one another within the dynamic. To use Dd/lg as an example... How young do you enjoy feeling when in that frame? What is Daddy's loving impression of the way his little manifests? What kind of Daddy/Dom does he wish to be? From what extent of control does his little wish to be liberated?  

 

5. **Flower for her, and embrace yourself.** 

 

I've been nothing short of surprised and thrilled at the natural streak of firm, creative, sensual, sexual, and playful dominance that my experiences of late have manifested. It's an interesting journey, this thing we call  kink... I started out thinking my height and general dirty mindedness defined me as a sub. Then I was "Evolving" for a long time; i was learning, reading, procrastinating, socialising, and just being a bit slack... 

 

Then, a few months ago, it just all began to click - thanks to a chance encounter... Finding a fellow brainiac and Sapiosexual, and thus connecting deeply on the level of my biggest kink - an adoration for intelligence - has laid a malleable yet unbreakable foundation for whatever the future holds. 

 

6. **What's good for the goose, and all that jazz...**

 

We personally don't enjoy "baby talk," but to each their own, of course. For me, encouraging my little to use correct manners and speak politely provides the frame for conversation where I am in control and she is poised and filling me with pride. I attempt to be creative. I mix things up and use pet names I know place her in that space, and I love making her laugh almost as much as she loves me saying something that leaves her with blushing cheeks and wry grin 

 

I have been frank about what names and actions put me in the space of a Daddy/Dom, and she knows that when those triggers occur, I am likely to, "put her in her place," or remind her of just how lucky her Daddy feels. It's mutually empowering and enriching.

 

7. **Ruling the Other Side of the World** 

 

As what is for now an online relationship, this works. Rules founded in our ethics, kink, and mutual adoration are balanced by creative and effective punishments. A slip of the tongue can make the Daddy in me ask for the sentence to be repeated, or it can form part of a larger punishment that I formulate over the next few days. 

 

This is what I see as the beauty of the power exchange. I am inspired to inspire and care for someone else, and that person is devoted to pleasing me by proving that she can be inspirational. My confidence when being in a "Daddy" frame has allowed my little to flourish proudly, but I have only become confident about being a Daddy because I have seen my "little" flourish. It's a beautiful paradox. 

 

When I praise her, and convey how lucky Daddy believes himself to be for being able to call his amazing girl, "mine," then my "little" can flourish in her space without the need for punishment. The key, and challenge, is the use of the trigger words, and this will again establish a frame in which a conversation can ensue with the dynamic intact. 

 

8. **Just be Genuine, Considerate, Trustworthy, and Cool**

 

I believe that any caregiver / Daddy should recognise the immense amount of trust that is placed in them when a little asks to submit to their control. Ultimately it is between the two people to establish the way any lifestyle suits them as a couple. All of this has just been my two thousand or so cents on the matter.

 

9. **The Moving Goal Posts**

 

As any two people grow together, the understanding of the relationship and their dynamic is very likely to evolve. So, I must be willing to step out with emotional maturity, and be confident in readdressing the ways in which my role in the dynamic fulfills me, the ways it doesn't, and what could play out in the future to provide both parties with more rewarding results. I must also be receptive and listen to my little as she too adjusts to the inevitable evolution of our exchange.

 

10. **Baby Steps**

 

It is natural that as your footing in your relationship develops, so too will the pace at which one can comfortably run, but that doesn't mean that one person should run ahead of the other. Don't be afraid to slow down in some areas, and speed up others. Ultimately it is all just the evolution of your relationship. Work together with giving hearts, devoted attitudes, and open communication. You'll win.

Edited January 13, 2017 by MisterJ

[Guest plerte]

Babytalk is amazingly effective. Referring to favorite stuffies and pretending to have talked to them is pretty effective as well. The most important part is to realize that it's not the caregivers job to make the little feel little. Their job is to make you happy while you are little and adapt to your moods. No little is little 100% of the time, so adaptation is important. Learning to read your moods and figuring out when to do babytalk or talk normally is a very relevant and important skill a caregiver learns over time.

 

Try to put less focus on him making you feel little and more focus on him learning to deal with when you are little. Putting pressure on his part as the caregiver can have a lot of negative repercussions in the relationship, so take it slow and let him learn.

I totally agree with this, a daddies role is not to make you little but to watch over you when you are a little. There can be instances and certain things that can help you turn into one but that is not his main job. People are different, some are littles often some rarely and only if they are completly in need of this relive of being a little, trying to force it just ruins the purpose of being one.

[MisterJ]

I totally agree with this, a daddies role is not to make you little but to watch over you when you are a little. There can be instances and certain things that can help you turn into one but that is not his main job. People are different, some are littles often some rarely and only if they are completly in need of this relive of being a little, trying to force it just ruins the purpose of being one.

 

Agreed. That's why I believe when undertaking a relationship within a dynamic like this, it requires a great deal of trust, understanding, and nurturing. It's one of the many reasons why many BDSM exchanges are prefaced with open discussion. If the DD/lg dynamic is something a couple wishes to explore, and possibly pursue in the long term, then an open line of communication is as good as forward thinking. Each party benefits from sharing goals, triggers, and limits.

Edited January 13, 2017 by MisterJ