Just a little something I noticed.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

there's something i've noticed here recently happening an awful lot and for good

reasons it seems a little odd. for lack of a better phrase i'm just going to go

ahead and go with 'daddy attacking'. no, not mommy. not caregiver. daddies.

 

there have been an abundance of topics/responses referring to daddies doing

something wrong, whether it be in general or responses to others topics that

instantly insult a daddy for the way he acts in a relationship according to that

little. rare is it that i see posts talking about littles who manipulate, are abusive,

string people along, and do all the other things i see plastered around about

daddies. i think it's more so that people tend to be vocal about what goes on

with the males over what littles are running around doing. i've seen plenty of

posts where littles talk about the things they do to upset their cg and cry over

the fact they were punished for it. littles who, instead of using communication

in their relationship, come here to what seems to be badmouth their cg and

get reassurance that their bratty behavior was acceptable. rare is it that we

get both sides of the story and we're awfully quick to judge and blame a daddy

over telling a little that she was in the wrong. littles can be wrong. littles can

be just as bad a fake daddies. and just like there are fake daddies, i'm sure

there are fake littles. i'm not too sure if we think of it in that light. it goes both

ways.

 

now don't get me wrong, i've seen a handful of users point out that maybe the 

little needs to sit down and take a look at their behavior and i always love that,

i will always love that. not so much because it's 'standing up' for a cg as it may

seem but because they're thinking like an adult ( no, this does not mean i am

saying that those who have the issues are children, i just mean that they're 

thinking and giving advice on the issue with the level of maturity needed ).

 

i've realized, and this is MY opinion and you're allowed to disagree and say 

otherwise, that most of the littles who choose not to communicate and come

here instead to vent are fairly young, barely legal age and with little life

experience - and i feel these are the littles who usually respond to such a

post to validate irresponsible, bratty, or bad behavior. this isn't every case,

it might not even be half? but it's something i see so very, very often. often

enough this forum makes me feel like littles are small balls of shining 

innocence that can do the world no wrong and if anything ever goes wrong

it's the fault of the caregiver and no one elses. 

 

i don't know, it could be just me who is seeing all of this, mayhaps my mindset

is silly or off and i'm reading text without a tone so i take it differently ( it's the

internet, it happens ). i hope i expressed myself properly and without really

offending anyone as it wasn't my intention. i am open to discussion over this

as long as you're respectful. 

 

[Magi]

I think that it does happen, and age doesn't really matter, but holding a mirror to them is hard. We don't always know the situation. There are abusive relationships out there, where both sides are doing it. The fact is, though, we can only try our best. I know sometimes I instantly allow the first side to be the one I believe and I am working on that. Hopefully, we can learn and grow and help the littles and cgs around to grow as well.

[PeachyPantsu]

I agree. I feel like sometimes the things posted about personal lives would be better said to the person it's about instead of going behind their s/o's back and saying mean things about them. It's completely unfair that caregivers don't have equal representation ESPECIALLY daddies. For some reason little's expect daddies to just handle whatever they throw at them despite it being completely irrational. But that tends to go hand in hand with gender and etc. 

Yes there's inequality but in this dynamic particularly i've seen it worse on the DD end than the lg end. You can't just be a complete jerk to someone and expect them to treat you like a princess that poops rainbows. It's not gonna happen. 

[Johnny Hammersticks]

Girls tend to be more outspoken when talking about relationship issues than men. Plus, men who consider themselves "Doms" rarely seek advice, we think we know everything we need to know, just through osmosis or something. Historically, men ARE the more abusive ones in relationships, as well, and it is a very very fine line inbetween being a strict dominant male, and being abusive, so i think some guys take being dom too far sometimes and lise their way. Certainly not to say "littles" or girls, dont exhibit their own wacky, or manipulative behaviors though.

 

I try to take all the posts, relationship questions, and rants i read on here with a grain of salt. There are ALWAYS two sides to every story. A little objectivity is good for all of us.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

I think a lot of littles on here are very young, both in biological age and emotional maturity. I think many barely know how to handle a real adult relationship, and a dynamic like this one requires so much more. I think as a whole women tend to be more.... supportive in times of crisis, less judgemental, whereas men tend to be more skeptical and comb through everything with a fine tooth comb. Historically speaking, women were housewives. They took care of the kids and their husbands primarily. Men, on the other hand, were out hunting, protecting their village, etc. I think because of that, women were rarely put in a situation where they couldn't believe what someone said, and men were constantly having to assess things to determine them safe. There are far more women on this site than men. So when a woman comes to us and says "oh my gosh! So my Daddy just told me I'm immature! He yelled!" We instantly go "abuse! Leave him! He's a jerk!" But when don't have any idea what happened. Heck for all we know, when they started their dynamic she was into degradation and then just decided she wasn't any more with no word to him. I think it's very hard to get all the facts first, but something we really need to work on.

[ChibiPuppy]

I think there is a lot of truth to what you said, but we have to take in consideration that some littles are simply just upset and communication in their relationship is bad. Littles in general, as I've noticed, are far more dependant on getting the problems out of their system, while daddies/mommies/caregivers thends to brood instead and worry the little. So when a little comes on here and complains about their daddy, maybe there is exaggeration going on, but they are still just looking for the sympathy they can't seem to get out of their daddy. And in a lot of cases they are looking for help regarding their daddy which isn't always something you can directly talk to your daddy about without something to back you up.

 

With that said, I see a lot of responses being ''talk to your CG'' and ''Communication is key'' which is more or less the best advice we can give other littles. We simply have to remember that littles are emotionally immature and very clingy/needy so these posts are just a natural biproduct of us gathering all the littles on one website. If it bothers you personally, don't read the posts.

[Guest littlevulcangirl]

I think any person can be abusive to their partner, but results of abuse by men can be far more devastating. It's not always the case tho of course.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

 

With that said, I see a lot of responses being ''talk to your CG'' and ''Communication is key'' which is more or less the best advice we can give other littles. We simply have to remember that littles are emotionally immature and very clingy/needy so these posts are just a natural biproduct of us gathering all the littles on one website. If it bothers you personally, don't read the posts.

 

i've realized a heavy majority, from the littles having issues with their daddies to

sex that the most given response is talk to your daddy' because communication

is key, it's true. also, i don't think it's at all fair to say littles are emotionally immature

and clingy/needy - because not all of them are. even in little space, not every little

is as you say they are. at the end of the day, if you're having an issue, sometimes

a little needs to pull themselves out of littlespace and address the situation as an

adult and not a little. as stated in a post above, this dynamic requires quite a lot

and even in vanilla relationships - communication is part of the core.

 

i made this post because i wanted to discuss what i had on mind, not to be told

not to read something because it is bothersome, i wanted the opinion and input of

others. i am well aware that i do not have to read what i do not like but i do

appreciate your post. 

 

I think a lot of littles on here are very young, both in biological age and emotional maturity. I think many barely know how to handle a real adult relationship, and a dynamic like this one requires so much more. I think as a whole women tend to be more.... supportive in times of crisis, less judgemental, whereas men tend to be more skeptical and comb through everything with a fine tooth comb. Historically speaking, women were housewives. They took care of the kids and their husbands primarily. Men, on the other hand, were out hunting, protecting their village, etc. I think because of that, women were rarely put in a situation where they couldn't believe what someone said, and men were constantly having to assess things to determine them safe. There are far more women on this site than men. So when a woman comes to us and says "oh my gosh! So my Daddy just told me I'm immature! He yelled!" We instantly go "abuse! Leave him! He's a jerk!" But when don't have any idea what happened. Heck for all we know, when they started their dynamic she was into degradation and then just decided she wasn't any more with no word to him. I think it's very hard to get all the facts first, but something we really need to work on.

 

yes, i've realized there are quite a.. few that are very young both in age and

maturity - not being able to handle a real adult relationship slapping on a ddlg

dynamic, i'd imagine, would only make the relationship stressed or more 

difficult. and definitely women are almost always more supportive and it's great

that they come to us here for advice, i really do think so and there have been

bits of lovely advice i've seen given and even implemented into my own daily

behavior. but yessss, it will always be difficult to get the facts first and it's 

something we truly need to work on ( even i'm not perfect myself, no one 

is ). imho, we'd provide better advice if we took the time to consider the situation

as more than just the littles view of everything. 

 

i mean it is by no means our job to tell them how to live their lives but maybe

we have more input into how the little responds than we know. i guess it can

just seem like those who instantly assume abuse and chant to leave him might

do greater harm than good and i'd hate to see an issue that could be fixed

with a little time and speaking to one another end over a ton of people telling

you to bounce. but at the end of the day i suppose it's not my business?

idk.