Interesting Relationship Scenario

[Tetrelle]

So, I just wanted to hear people weigh in on this. 

 

My situation is that I'm married and my husband is not a Daddy/Caregiver/ or a Dom.

 

We love each other very much, and we are not in an "open" relationship in the traditional sense. We are however Poly and he does approve of me having a Daddy. Reason being because he knows that side of me, and loves me very much, but he is not one to step into that type of a position.

 

So what is going on?

 

Well, we've been married awhile now, and he always knew there was something different about me, and I did too! He knew I was a submissive, that much was always known. But, I had a hard childhood and the little in me started coming out more and more after we got married. So, here we are now! Wooo. 

 

I know a lot of people might be shocked or dislike this situation, and I get it! I know this isn't the type of scenario most people would want to hear, and it sure does making finding a Daddy, even if it is just online, kinda hard! Though I'm sure somewhere there is a man who wants a little, but is also married (but has his wife's approval!!), or works a lot, and just communicating with one online would be easier, making sure I took my bath, asking me about my day, seeing what I colored, etc.

Who knows!~ Any ideas, tips, suggestions? If it's okay.. I really would be sad if the only posts were people telling me I'm a cruddy person for this ;-; please don't do that. My husband knows and is okay with this. I wanted to talk to others, especially littles (but also caregivers ^.^) and hear all the thoughts before deciding if I want to post an ad. 

 

 

[Antoinette]

As long as there is open and honest communication about this situation with all people involved then honestly anybody else's opinion is unnecessary. I have seen quite a few married daddies who are, themselves, looking for a married little to have an online relationship with. There's nothing wrong with this - like I said, all you need is open communication and honesty. Of course you're probably going to have to have quite a bit of patience as well but all good things come to those who wait.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Personally, I'm not poly. Just isn't my cup of tea. However, if your husband is okay with it, more power to the both of you! Just keep the communication open and best of luck!

[HeCallsMePrincess]

if everyone is open and honest about it, i dont see it being a huge issue. although i know a lot of Daddies wont want to share that way. i'm sure you'll be able to find someone.

[Guest princedoober]

You bring up an interesting point... I'm interested in the fantasy aspect of DD/LG -- and feel most comfortable having online relationships in this space.

 

I've had several longish term online relationships with middles (young women who liked to be young teen) that have been hugely positive on my and my "little's" lives. Some of them developed serious boyfriends along the way. Or even got engaged. And we kept it going as long as they felt comfortable with it (it never bothered me).

 

That said, I'm super new to this group and am only beginning to understand what DDLG really means. I came to it through role play more generally that mixed up age play with dominance, pushing boundaries, etc. And it was pretty much all focused on sexual play.

 

Now we did establish relationships aside from the sexual aspects... Talked about our lives, goals, etc. But the focus was always, intensely, on the sexual side.

 

It feels like most of the folks here (a really cool bunch) are interested in the deeper non-sexual aspects of the relationship. I expect it might be harder to find an online-only sexual connection that works for you (and for me...) here. That's not a knock on the group. I think that the strength of the group is the focus on positive healthy living in the context of DDLG. And not all about people using and abusing each other sexually.

 

Great group, but sometimes I worry that I've been barking up the wrong tree

 

Sorry to hijack your thread... but your post just brought many of the things I've been wondering about to the surface.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

HELLO, RESIDENT POLY NERD HERE! 

 

If you've checked out my resource on poly relationships (shameless self-plug), you'll see that all consensual, and open relationships with multiple partners are totally valid! Just makes you are communicating effectively with all parties, which includes your prospective Caregiver. I highly suggest making sure you know exactly what your husband is open to you and your new Caregiver exploring before you start searching for one. You mentioned you were not in an open relationship, but you were polyamorous, so make sure you define what this means for you and your relationships. It's a good practice to get into to make sure that everyone is informed completely of all lines, boundaries, and rules before they make their choice on whether or not this is right for them, and that includes the third person coming in! 

 

Rest assured, however, there are definitely people willing to work with your situation. Good luck!

[Guest Kittehmuffin]

It can totally be done!!!

 

Openness, honesty and frank discussions may be required. Trust too and that includes trusting your Daddy...how much does your husband want to know, for example....but yes...can be done!

[spaceprincess_]

I'm married and have a Daddy who isn't my husband, and it works just like any other kind of poly relationship ^^ Just make sure everyone involved is on the same page and there's lots of ongoing discussion of expectations/boundaries/needs etc and you'll do fine.

 

The biggest thing is to not worry about what people think and just focus on being happy and making your partners happy! The only people who are going to refuse to be supportive are assholes, and fuck making yourself unhappy for assholes

[Fairy Narwhal]

My Daddy is married and his wife is very accepting of the fact that I'm a little and he's has a need to be a Daddy.

 

I think it's about just finding someone who can accept the situation you're in. It can be hard but if you have the okay of your husband then it can be a lot easier as opposed to going behind someone's back.

 

Communication is so important in poly relationships and it sounds like you're pretty good at communicating what you want and your limits.

[Drmagister]

Wow. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were my wife/little! Everyone seems unanimous on the communication issue, and they're right! My sweet girl is poly, and her sex drive is insatiable. We have agreed on a system that includes other male and female partners. First rule, daddy must approve of all sexual activity, and all partners. After that we discuss particular rules on a case by case basis. I and my little have had tremendous fun exploring. On occasions where sweet little thought she could "bend" rules, daddy put his foot down. But overall, it's been amazing!