Can two subs work?

[Ariel_Anne]

Maybe you have personal experience or have some advice? 

I'm a sub and I guess so is my boyfriend! He is switch but prefers being the sub.I'm not talking DDLG, hes not into that. He just prefers being the sub but so do I. 
Before he told me he was a switch/sub I did always find it a little hard to be submissive for him or being "little" around him. He was the one who wanted to be told what to do. 
I love him dearly and do not think of him any different romantically but I cant help but feel a little sadden that we probably wont ever be able to have the dom/sub relationship I love. 
Do you guys have any advice? 
I would never force him to do anything he didn't want to do

 

[Panserbjorn]

Honest and open discussions with him would be best, if you both prefer being in that role but are both capable and happy to be switch then it could work in a way definitely. I don't think you will ever have the true Dom/sub aspect you love because you obviously would prefer to always be sub. It might be a bit weird at first and might take some time to get used to, but if you're both happy and willing to be switch for each other I am sure you could work out some sort of arrangement! I hope you do and you find happiness. Best wishes.

[Guest Little Ceci]

I was actually just in this sort of relationship and it's toughy! Both my previous partner and I are subs to the core but with switchy tendencies. Majority of the time, I was his dominant and it's not a role that's natural for me. It's very draining and I wasn't getting what I needed despite how fulfilling it was to take care of him in that dynamic. But! I was unable to fully immerse myself into the role and truly give him what he needed. Through out all this, I was suppressing my own needs and wants in order to flounder about and give him what he needed. In the end, it left us both starved despite how much we love one another. We mutually broke up but we're still insanely close friends and lean on one another for support. We're much happier like this and are able to search out that D/s lifestyle we both need.

 

What it comes down to is sitting yourself down and reviewing what you want/need out of a relationship.

Is a D/s lifestyle a dynamic you seek and crave or is it some good ol' fashioned kinky bedroom fun?

Is your partner able to put on their dommy pants and fulfill those needs of yours or are you having to suppress them to keep things jolly and okay?

And, in retrospect, are you able to provide that to him as well?

Do you both enjoy switching or does it appear tilted in a way that one gets "all the fun" while the other is left to their own devices?

Is polyamory a topic either of you have considered in order to have those needs fulfilled? 

 

Keep in mind that love goes beyond romanticism, I feel. Despite the breakup with my previous partner, he and I still very much love each other but in a different capacity. And also! Don't stretch yourself thin or force yourself. What you want and need is just as important as his own wishes.

Edited January 5, 2017 by Miss Ceci

[Guest littlevulcangirl]

my most recent relationships have been with other subs, or submissive people. I think one of them didn't work out because we are both too passive, even tho iin sex, and play we were both a bit switchy. But I don't think ether of us could provide emotionally. Like I'm strong and stuff but in a a relationship I'm not so much.