Confused ? (rather long post !)

[kittytears]

Hello! I'm fairly new to the ddlg lifestyle and I've just got many, many questions. I'm unsure as to whether I actually fit into the community.

 

Compared to the littles that I have seen on this website and over various social apps such as instagram and whatnot, I feel like I don't really......well, it's like I'm just not the same.

I'm not fond of Disney movies nor do I like the idea of calling my caregiver (if I had one - but right now, I don't) 'Daddy' or 'Mommy'. Pacifiers and diapers are a nono to me, although I do like chokers and collars and various other cute items. Baby talk just isn't for me. I love stuffed toys, but I don't sleep with any. 

 

I understand what little space is, but I don't relate to it as I've never been in little space before. Rather than switching between 'adult me' to being in little space, I feel like my general self is just little. Thus, i feel like I don't necessarily have a little age as well.
I want (or perhaps even need) someone to be strict with me and to set rules that will guide me to become a better person in general, but I also don't like the concept of someone seemingly having control over me.

I want to be able to meet someone who could be a potential caregiver of mine - but I'm afraid of meeting new people, and I'm mostly comfortable with committing a relationship with someone of the same ethnicity/race/culture (just personal preference). I feel like this will affect my chances of finding someone who'll accept for who I am.

 

I'm a walking contradiction and honestly, it's just confusing me even more. There are even more things that I worry about, but I can't quite think of them off the top of my head right now.

 

 

All in all, what is a little??? Am I still considered a little despite these differences I have compared to the norm?

Is the ddlg lifestyle suitable for someone like me?

 

Will I have to come out to my friends and family who probably do not have a single idea about this community? How will I explain it?

 

 

TL;DR - I feel like I don't belong to the ddlg community because of my differences and personal preferences. Am I still a little?

 

 

I'm posting this because it'll greatly help me figure out who I really am (in a way) if anyone has advice for me. Thank you for reading.

[Guest]

Yes you are still little. Ddlg is whatever YOU MAKE IT. You don't need a little age. You don't need to like diapers and princesses. Being little is different for everyone and you can find a caregiver that suits you. There are all kinds of folks and they all have different strokes . So no worries. Just chat and have fun. Everyone is welcome here! Edited January 5, 2017 by Arya

[madhattersangel]

Hi! I'm new to all of this too, so I totally get where you're coming from. I definitely relate to not really going into little space. My big and little space are kind of mushed together. But I've been told by people that's there's nothing wrong with being little that way! And a lot of other littles called their caregivers other names than 'Daddy' and 'Mommy'.

 

Totally feel free to message me because I totally understand what you mean 

[kittytears]

Yes you are still little. Ddlg is whatever YOU MAKE IT. You don't need a little age. You don't need to like diapers and princesses. Being little is different for everyone and you can find a caregiver that suits you. There are all kinds of folks and they all have different strokes . So no worries. Just chat and have fun. Everyone is welcome here!

Thank you for your reply! <3 It's really comforting to hear that I'm still a little and I'm welcomed by others. 

[Guest]

Thank you for your reply! <3 It's really comforting to hear that I'm still a little and I'm welcomed by others.

 

there are littles of all ages (or with no age) and with lots of different kinks / hobbies /interest.

 

As well as all kinds of caregivers that are happy to accommodate for a little.

 

It'll all come together in time

[kittytears]

Hi! I'm new to all of this too, so I totally get where you're coming from. I definitely relate to not really going into little space. My big and little space are kind of mushed together. But I've been told by people that's there's nothing wrong with being little that way! And a lot of other littles called their caregivers other names than 'Daddy' and 'Mommy'.

 

Totally feel free to message me because I totally understand what you mean 

Thank you!! I'm glad to know that someone understands! <3

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Hi hi :3

 

So welcome aboard! When I first joined I felt like you. See... I don't like diapers (I DO use a paci sometimes for anxiety relief. But when I joined I was against it), I don't like Disney princess (I LOVE me some Minnie Mouse and Monsters Inc. and Shrek though!), I don't really play with toys and I color but in adult coloring books. I'm not crafty, I'm not small. I'm a married, working little who actually works in a leadership role. I have two children. How on earth did I fit into this community?

 

Well I learned something. I fit in here because... well, I am little. Just a different kind of little than the social norm, and that's okay! I quiet like the way I am. I do not age regress per say... and I don't enter little space. I seem to always be little, it's just who I am. At work I have to be big most of the time, because my job as I said is leadership and I'm in charge of 26 lives who depend on me. But even at work sometimes I get to drift off into "little space" which is no different than me outside of work.

[poppi]

I've know a little just like you....no sippy cups, no diapers, no Disney.

She was more of a middle little, she has fondness for Ghibli, cosplay and more of a different outlook.

I've never questioned her littleness since she's a delightful, intelligent, very respectful woman.

Being a little is what you make of it and that's okay.

[Guest countlieberkuhn]

It's like you came here on the other side of the same coin as me.  I'm not interested in being called Daddy or administering rules - I couldn't care less if I didn't have that in relationship, although if it matters to the other person I'm willing to indulge that.  But I like girls who are playful, dress up cute with chokers and stuff, and generally have a childlike side to them, and this seemed the best fit.  I've always liked looking after my partner though, especially if they got ill.  I'd be down the shops buying pills, ice cream, maybe a DVD and cuddle them all night to make them feel better, so the caregiver dynamic resonated with me somewhat (I default to labelling myself as a caregiver instead of Daddy for that reason).

 

I was welcomed here despite not having a major interest in some of the more common elements of DDLG and being a daddy.  Everyone's really nice, and I've learned that if you identify with it in some way, then you're included, regardless of whether you're heavily into the lifestyle or just dip your toes in a little bit.  No matter what you're here for, or how different you are to other littles, you'll be welcomed as long as you're nice

[Guest Volkmane1985]

Hmm, I think I'm in a similar boat to countlieberkuhn and I agree with what everyone else has said.  It is entirely up to you with what you want to be and how it goes from day to day.

[Guest countlieberkuhn]

Hmm, I think I'm in a similar boat to countlieberkuhn and I agree with what everyone else has said.  It is entirely up to you with what you want to be and how it goes from day to day.

Must be a middle-England thing!

[Guest Volkmane1985]

Heh I guess

[Sergeant-Snuggles]

Ok, so, this whole trend of internet "positivity" is great. It really is. And of course everyone (who isn't abusive) is welcome in ours and any community (or should be). And, yes, there are all kinds of littles and a little should be allowed to be the little she wants to be. All very true (and yet, after I write this, everyone is going to forget that I agree to an extent and start attacking me for not going along with the majority. It's ok. It's human nature. But I won't be responding to anything rude, so if you actually want to discuss this with me, be mindful and respectful of my opinion.)

 

Here's the problem: Ask any little whose been in the community for a few months and she'll jump right on top of the "Fake Daddies" tag and tell you that they're out there and they don't belong in this community. I'll tell you the same. Yes, there are fake daddies among us who only want a "little" for sexual favors and fantasy, and not to actually be a caregiver. This brings us to my point. If there are fake daddies, then there are also "littles" in the community who are just in the community to look for a dominant guy, but have no interest in being a little. I've ran into a few of them. Now, I don't think that they shouldn't be here. But I don't think that they are Littles either. A little IS about age regression and being submissive. (This is where I'm going to start to get attacked by the "brave souls" who so gallantly take the side of the masses and, of course, might not be real littles themselves so take this personally). Being a little is not about just wanting a dominant man. That's not a kink or a subculture. That's 99% of ALL straight women (and plenty of those who aren't straight too, obviouly). That's not little, it's feminine. And just being a sub doesn't make you a little, either, just like being a dom doesn't make you a daddy. Does this mean you don't belong here? Absolutely not. That's like saying someone who doesn't like hockey can't go to a hockey game. Of course you can be a part of this community, and so can the Just Dom or average joes who prefer kawaii girls or whatever. Only people that shouldn't be welcom are those who are abussive. BUT... You may not necessarily be a little. And that, obviously, is ok, and, as you read above, there are sure to be others here like you, including men, and you can still hopefully find someone to connect with on whatever level your looking to. You don't need to be a little to be here or to fit in and find friends. Just be you. = ]

 

Oh, and as far as "coming out". Absolutely not. lol This community is EXTREMELY controversial and very few people (even those with extreme kinks) are comfortable with it. It's basically that one subculture that all the others can put down to make them feel like their fetishes are ok. Don't "come out" to anyone other than very close friends, and only if you really have to. Trust me. You WILL be ridiculed. The world isn't ready for this yet. (Well, western society isn't, anyway.)

Edited January 7, 2017 by Sergeant-Snuggles