Decision making

[Mezgoezrawrz]

I'm still learning about the dynamics of a DDlg relationship, and I'm wondering how decision making works? Even just the small things, like where to eat, or what to do for the day/week. Is it just the Daddy who decides all these things, or is it something typically left up to the little? 

[splendabae]

well, it depends one how much control the little gives their daddy. littles and cgs can decide together what they can do through out the week. no reason why littles cant decide on pizza for dinner or a movie. it's different for every relationship too!

[lilsnoopy]

The little, as a submissive, still chooses to submit. In that regard, the little has all of the choice. Past that, it is dependent on the relationship. In my relationship, he makes choices for me. Decisions like bedtime, what is appropriate clothing, when I have to do homework, (ex) are for my best interest. Those I don't fight because he is right, and I know he's right and also because I enjoy not being in control of myself for a while. However, major decisions are mutually agreed upon. Things like buying a house or other big financial moves, having/raising kids, anything involving education or careers (to name a few) are all things that I have a big say in. Every little should have the ability to speak their mind on important matters. If a little is not allowed to help in big decisions then I see it as abuse. 

 

A few ways to make the bigger decisions in life would be to:

-have both parties create personal pro con list. Discuss both lists and address key points. 

-Don't rush things, take time to think it over. 

-seek advice from trusted friends or family. Maybe take that advice into consideration.

 

Now about the small decisions. Most things I still do myself because I have school, a job, and we still live apart. Bedtime, bathtime, homework time, how much candy, (sometimes) what to wear, and what movie to watch when I'm stuck are almost always up to daddy. I am always free to ask him to decise things for me.. and I do that a lot. Usually he thinks it though in a broader way then I do if I am excited happy little me. He also likes making choice for me (it makes him feel important) and he always has my best interest in mind. So that is just how our relationship is. Every relationship is a little different and that's ok! as long as it's healthy. 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Well my Daddy/husband has complete control, though he rarely uses it. Major choices we discuss, because at the end of the day they affect both of us. Even something like him getting a tattoo he wants my input on. Minor decisions are usually left up to him, but often times he will give me choices like "do you want this movie or that one, do you prefer to eat inside a resteraunt or get it to take home?" Choices, frankly, set off my anxiety. Something like "where do you want to eat, what movie do you want" without choices sends me into a panic really quickly.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

I think this particular topic varies dramatically from person to person. I am always wary and eyeball posts that say "Well, all of xyz need to behave like xyz to be xyz." because our dynamic and the community have evolved to include so many different perspectives as a whole. I suggest sitting your partner down and directly discussing it with them. Gathering differing viewpoints about how others do it is great, but using them a rule book might not be beneficial here since the only person who really has a say in this besides you is your partner. 

 

Ask them what exactly they want you to control, or choose. That's the best way to get the answer to this question. 

 

For example, I don't like when Alpha chooses my clothing. I like having that choice for myself, especially if I want to dress a certain way for something. But it's hot when Guardian occasionally picks an outfit. I always want someone to choose my food for me, especially when we're out to eat. If I want a specific thing, I'll suggest it, but I like that my Doms rule is law. It depends.