Switch crisis

[Guest Kali]

This is NOT a personal ad (although I'm open to talking to a Mommie privately for support). I'm looking for support and views.

 

For the past decade or so (I'm in my late 40's as you can see in my profile), I have suffered with increasing problems with mental health - mainly depression and anxiety - this is also accompanied with crippling fatigue at times. My life has been one of great responsibility, and I think it's just got the better of me. I want to escape my big boy persona.

 

Before I was married, I played in the BDSM scene and identified as Dom - always have done. My wife became less and less interested in bdsm, probably because we mainly went to clubs to watch, and it was often quite heavy. Anyway - long story short, we are now almost vanilla apart from the odd toy, or scarf.

 

I have never played away in real life - but have explored DDLG recently through conversation with a couple of very sweet and kind littles (who are NOT on my friends list here) who understood (without judging) my struggle to fulfill something that is missing, but also that I have no desire to tear up the life I have built with a family I love very much. My little friends have been an incredible support, and even allowed me to explore a little role play, without things getting heavy, which was very interesting.

 

Anyway - the most interesting thing to come out of this - is that I actually found myself identifying WITH them, as much as wanting to play Daddy. I know little's love to give their Daddy's pleasure (to a superficial observer - I know it runs both ways in reality) - but I also get more pleasure from my play partner's pleasure during play than my own - and I want to be the little. I could talk more about the reasons for this privately, but not in public.

 

Now, I would like to encourage my wife to be Mommie, obviously, but I know that this is a DDLG, and not MDLB website. However, this is where I began, so I'm wondering if any little boys could offer any advice in how to encourage your life partner? Or, any Mommies out there who would offer any advice - i.e. things little boys do that make you feel more Mommy?

 

This post was really precipitated due to a relapse of my anxiety/depression/chronic fatigue, so I feel very vulnerable and weak right now, and although i still have some sexual energy - I feel very, very subby - and I do love being able to behave like a little boy.

 

I have a major hurdle is that my wife and I watched a mainstream TV prog on DDLG (actually on bbc iplayer, although it's not there now) and she thought it was a combination of funny, or sick - which makes me feel very sad and ashamed. She has actually sent me a text asking if I had been a good boy yesterday, so maybe things are looking up - but I want to seize the zeitgeist!

Edited December 31, 2016 by Kali

[Magi]

It can be a struggle to be a switch and find the right balance for you. That I assure you, however, if you are hopeful I am sure you and your wife can find some kind of compromise. Just start slow, what she may find off now, may change later. Moving forward I would just simply slowly try things out. Remember being communication is big. Talk to her about it and explain how you feel is what I encourage, and if you need my support more don't hesitate to friend request and I would love to talk to you.

[Guest]

Being a switch it can be a pain at times. (Also just cuz the site says ddlg , does not mean mommies , little boys and other littles/ CG of any gender are being cut out.)

I prefer to be a sub, but every now and again my Dom side does come out and can get my little side into trouble if I feel like being the boss lol.

 

Anyways I would talk to your wife about it. Having play partners outside of your marriage is not fair to your wife if you both have not agreed to it (not trying to judge but it is what it is. May not be what you want to hear but it's true.)

 

If she does not wish to be your care giver then maybe ask if you can have an open relationship and find a mommy that's okay with you and your wife.

 

Communication is key to a relationship. It maybe a little scary but you need to do it the right way for the sake of your marriage

Edited December 31, 2016 by Arya

[splendabae]

i think it's really important that you communicate this with your wife! since you guys have experience in bdsm, you should know communication is important. i dont think she'll judge you, if you just tell her how you've been feeling. sometimes people hurt your feelings without knowing, and if you let them know then they'll be more careful. and peoples opinions change over time, i myself used to think ddlg was weird and only interacted with it via memes.

it's great you discovered this side of yourself and that you're making little friends   just have a conversation with your wife and tell her first and foremost about your mental health decline, if you havent. and explain how being little feels and why you like it and things you would like for her to try. start with babysteps! but do not find a mommy without her permission please, as i personally feel like that's wrong and a betrayal of trust. (but it's your life, this is only advice!) good luck, if you need someone to talk to feel free to add me~

Edited January 1, 2017 by lil'bby