Misunderstandings?! And how to avoid them?

[Lin]

Hey sugars!

I'm not sure if this topic is in the right selection and excuse me if it isn't.

I wanted to discuss with you, the introduction of dd/lg lifestyle to "outsiders"/"Newbies.

In fact, I'm like Jahova Witness XD a.k.a open to explain and introduce everyone interested, into my lifestyle. 

However, most of the people (no matter if they are friend or strangers), take DD/lg like standard Dominant/Submissive relationship, with alot of sex and sexual rules. 

Recently, I spoke with that guy, who says he had dd/lg relationship. I was so exited! Not because I wanted to be with him, but because its nice to have someone beside you who understand your life. However, everything was flowers and pink unicorns, until he started to talk about his rules back then: She should welcome him after work in sexy dress, to serve him dinner, massage his feets, make him blowjob while he is watching football etc. 

I'm really confused. Do you have certain way to explain that? I'm trying to highlight the emotional and caring side of the relationship between Daddy and his little, but everything ends in the same dead end with picture in their mind of pretty slutty girl, domination and spanking. 

Am I the only with that problem or its common thing? 

[Guest]

Ddlg is still a part of BDSM. For some people, there is more kinky domination "slutty" stuff and less little stuff.

It does not make it any less of a ddlg relationship then anyone else's.

 

He may have just been focusing on what he enjoyed out of the relationships (and as many of the guys I have ran into maybe adding a bit to the story to make him seem more manly)

 

There are also some Dom daddies that learn more to the Dom side and less to the daddy side. There are also some daddies that have very little Dom like characteristics and fouce more of the nurturing side of things.

 

It's fine that you didn't like or want a ddlg relationship like the one he had. (and again he could have been embellishing on things for all we know).

 

Just remember, ddlg relationships can be whatever you wish to make them. You also don't need to explain or get the approval of others to have a happy healthy relationship.

 

(Also I was raised as a Jahova Witness, but left it many many years ago. )

Edited December 26, 2016 by Arya

[DarlinStarrz]

Every relationship is different, be they vanilla, Big/little, D/s, or Master/slave. Like Arya was saying, he could be focusing on more of the things he is looking for in a Big/little relationship, and that is perfectly fine. Everyone has a fantasy of what their perfect relationship would be like. Sometimes, those fantasies are workable, and sometimes not. It sounds like his ideal relationship leans more towards a D/s relationship with Big/little aspects as less of a focus, and that is perfectly fine.

 

I can understand your confusion, sometimes it confuses me a bit too. I prefer a relationship that is primarily a more nurturing Big/little dynamic, BUT, still have quite a few more standard BDSM aspects involved. To each their own

[Princess-P]

You can't really explain what a Caregiver/little relationship is to anyone. Only express what your ideal of one is. If you try to sum it up then your shaping everyone in this dynamic with the same cookie cutter.

 

His way is fine. Its what works for him. Your way is fine to, it works for you. You have to accept similarities and differences even if you don't agree with all of them.

 

Also its important to remember that CG/l can be a lifestyle, a role play, or a kink... All of which are no less right then the other. To each their own. By saying you try to explain this dynamic to someone is actually just explaining how you percieve the dynamic. No reason to be confused or frustrated when someone else's ideas don't line up with yours. Just shrug it off.

[Guest PardonMe]

agreed will the comments posted here

To each his own..may not be what you want but we all walk our own road to discovery

[Beasourous]

I agree that you can't really explain the ddlg relationship because everyone has a different expectations. Even for us when we meet people in this forum, everyone has different perspective of how the ddlg relationship should be. 

 

What is important is being comfortable of who you are and knowing what you want and looking for.