Knowing the difference... A rant by Dolly.

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

I have noticed a bit of a trend lately that is kinda disheartening - it seems some of us have blurred the lines between being honest and being a douche. Its kinda sad. When I joined here everyone was so awesome and supportive and it seems day by day there's more negativity. I am all for telling someone off if they need it but people coming to the board asking for help or people new to the lifestyle that are looking for resources aren't being given a very good impression when the first comment on their post is nothing but fuckery.

 

Honesty is a virtue but if you can't tell the difference between the truth and toxicity, perhaps you should just not comment. We all have poop days, we all have bad moods but it's really not healthy to just unload all that negativity on a stranger because they worded something funny or they disagreed with you and you think you're a bdsm scholar. This isn't high school, it's real life and being a "Mean girl" doesn't win you cool points. It is more likely to make people not want to interact with you and it makes the rest of us look bad.

 

K rant over

[Bam Bam]

I know how you feel, especially the know it alls. The ones who think their way of bdsm is the right way and other ways are the wrong way. Also the people who think they can interpet somebody's life story based off a two sentence paragraph. But honestly a lot of the issues I see on the forums could be solved by just talking to their partner.

[Antoinette]

I can see both sides to this. I agree 100% with what you say, as someone who I'd imagine people see me as kinda douchey at times I think some people do take it too far (perhaps even I do at times) but it is extremely upsetting when the Tumblr-aesthetic people of DD/lg come with the same questions about DD/lg that could just be solved if people didn't rush into relationships and actually understood the basics of BDSM (or DD/lg), I don't believe I know much about BDSM outside of the realms of DD/lg or Master / slave but I do believe that research and taking things slowly have been mostly thrown out of the window in this day and age and as a nineteen year old girl who appreciates doing things perhaps differently from people my age it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 

 

I think collectively we could all strive to be kinder people but sometimes it's hard, sometimes people just need to hear the honest (be it blunt) truth. Thanks for this post though, I know you've definitely made me rethink how I'm going to phrase things in the future (: 

[Johnny Hammersticks]

I support this rant! Because the behavior youre describing, on here, lowers peoples willingness to express themselves comfortably. That being said, sometimes theres some really silly questions being asked and probably need a dose of reality.

 

But righteous rant, Miss Dolly ☺️

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

A lot of the questions we hear are really common.. but I want you to go to Google and put any question pertaining to ddlg... I betcha our forum is one of the top answers. This is why we see the silly questions, because Google sends them here. Also, the internet is full of conflicting information - we are the reliable place for answers from people who live it. Some of these questions sound dumb and common sense to us but would they be common sense to someone who knows nothing about ddlg? We were all new at one point.

 

ANTOINETTE: Yes, I see the people rushing into this and they make my head hurt but you obviously know that giving them crap isn't going to get through. They are going to wander off and go on their way...uneducated. I get being frustrated with it, I see stuff daily that makes me wanna reach through the computer and shake people lol I think we all have our triggers and that's cool! At the end of the day no one is going to read the opinion of a stranger online and be like "I have seen the errors of ways!!!" Lol! As far as I see it, if I can send someone along with more knowledge than they had initially - it's a win!