I'm very shy.

[Guest SugarNSpiceSam]

I know I see a similiar thread, however my problem is that I'm very shy. It's so hard for me to reach out to people and for me to talk to people. This even happens to me when I'm in the chat room. I have such a hard time talking to people and sometimes I get so upset and bent out of shape because I want to talk to people, but I'm so shy. Anytime people are talking in chat rooms and having a good time, I end up leaving and then I feel like something is wrong with me. I have no problem talking in person but when it comes to groups I have a very hard time. I enjoy who I am and like myself, I just have this problem and it never seems to go away ever. I'd really like to make some friends on here and talk to others, I'm just shy and quiet. It usually takes awhile before I can trust anyone because I have such a cautious mind and I tend to think a lot. I'm also introverted too and a little bit of depression which I'm working on now which is good. A few years ago, I didn't like who I was at all. Now I actually enjoy doing things on my own and getting into new hobbies. The only thing that still bothers me is how I do horrible when it comes to chat rooms and when I have to talk to a bunch of people who's in a group. I always tend to stand off to side, stay quiet and if I say anything it's not very much. I'm very shy and quiet, I've always been this way. Sometimes it's kinda frustrating. Just wanted to post this in hopes others out there can relate to me and understand the struggle. It's also helping me to open up.

Edited December 22, 2016 by MysticalDreamer83

[daddycare]

I know what you mean, sometimes its difficult to say something in a large group of people you probably don't know. The feeling of having so many people looking at what you say is a anxious thought, so try not to feel upset about it. There is nothing wrong about you as most people feel the same way, and it takes a lot of time to get used to talking in large groups. But for now maybe just sit in chat and listen to what they say, that way you can be apart of it without feeling like you have to say something. Or maybe find someone, get to know them and join the chat together, might feel better having someone you know with you.

 

But embrace being shy and quiet, its obviously who you are and that isn't likely to change. Its not easy and can sometimes be tough, but you are you and no one is expecting you to be someone your not.

[Magi]

I have a similar problem. My mind goes to the same place, but if I see you in chat I will talk to you.

[splendabae]

i understand what you mean! it took me a little while to get used to the chat. this is basically what i do in these situations: take baby steps, if you get overwhelmed it's ok to step back and just observe. say hi when you come on, chime in once and a while. the more often people see you in the chat, the more they'll include you. ask people questions, how are they, how was work, if they have any plans. then conversations tend to form naturally. you find things you have in common. it really helps if you're friends with at least 3/4 people that are in the chat, so if you feel nervous you can always chat with them until you're more comfortable jumping in. feel free to add me, and if you see me in the chat you can always talk to me!

[Guest uk_caring_daddy]

Well, shy you may be, but you are brave (in sending this message - explaining your feelings).

And when you do that, people will want to connect with you - most likely because they understand how you feel and they can read in your message things that  resonate with them.

Most people are shy. If they were not, I do not believe alcohol would play such a significant role in western social gatherings.

I read your message and to me you sound like a regular young girl in some ways (like being hard on yourself) but then in other ways you actually have a 'ahead of the curve' grasp of how you can change things (like sending this message) and so I think you should not be so hard on yourself; you are doing so many things right.

 

FYI, I was painfully shy as a boy, got over it at...22/23 year of age maybe. However, I am deeply introverted so I really didn't seek to interact with others anyway; preferring my own company. So I got away with it!