Kitten feeling lonely

[Guest KittenBritt]

The guy that I'm talking to now is reaallllllyyyyy busy all the time. I understand that he has a life, as do I, but I feel ignored a good part of the time. We also haven't established any rules yet as far as I know. What are somethings I can do to distract myself if I start feeling lonely or sad? Also, how did you bring up that topic to your daddies? Thanks! -Kitten

[Antoinette]

My daddy works very long hours and we're also in different time zones. He's American (California) and I'm British (West Midlands), this means there's an eight hour time difference. I am also a student, this means the only time we really get to talk is on the weekends. It's hard, it really is.

 

You said that the two of you are talking, which would lead me to believe that you're not actually together - perhaps this isn't my place to say but I don't think he's particularly obliged to not ignore you if you're not together. Not that I'm in your situation so I can't really comment on that. The only thing you can do is learn to be understanding. It's upsetting that my daddy works long hours but it doesn't lead to me being unhappy throughout the day. I have a life outside of my relationship. If I miss him I'll leave him a snapchat, a message or a picture and then get on to do something productive until he gets home and we can talk. 

 

The only thing I can suggest is to either busy yourself more or find someone else that has more time for you. Personally though, I'm an introvert and part of me likes the time away from my daddy - I enjoy being my own person and not having to be dependent on my partner for my happiness or anything else for that matter. 

[splendabae]

you can draw pictures for him and show him so he knows you're thinking about him! you can go out with friends. or have a selfcare day where you pamper yourself. if you guys use snapchat, send him cute snaps of you during the day. you can start a new project based on your hobbies, i.e. write stories, paint, build. learn a new skill, youtube is rlly helpful!

if you feel like both of you are at that stage where rules need to be made, let him know. tell him that you get lonely sometimes and that you miss talking to him but that you know he's busy. maybe ask for a good morning text. i'm sure if both of you communicate openly you'll come up with a solution. best of luck <3

[Guest uk_caring_daddy]

I am UK based, my baby is in Canada so we have 5 hours difference.

Here are some things we do that you could try :

 

- We kik. We usually manage to txt chat throughout the day. 

- We always communicate any opportunities to voice chat, even if only for 10 minutes. I usually highlight times of the day I can chat and she will see if she can make one.

- We tell each other if we feel 'close' to the other or if we need pulling closer.

- We send voice recordings if a couple of days go by without chat. We like to hear each other's voices.

- We follow each other on snapchat.

- If we are busy, we involve the other in our busy thing. Like study for her (sending me a vid of the study group) or business trip for me (pics of the area, the flight, etc)

- We have days of us where we both book hotel rooms in our respective countries and spend the whole day in each other's company over Skype video

 

- I'm a CTO of a tech company. I am really very busy at times. She's a student. She is really very busy at times. We use these things because we take it very seriously if the other feels lonely or sad.

 

My advice would be that rather than learning to distract yourself when you feel lonely, talk to him about how you feel. Your feelings are important and should be important to him. Hiding sadness  / loneliness is not SUSTAINABLE. I mean...you can do it... but not for long. In all honestly, if you explain how you feel, a daddy should be able to lift you, to look after you and your feelings. If you need ideas, by all means take a look at my list.

Edited December 24, 2016 by uk_caring_daddy

[chloelayne]

When a caregiver is busy all the time, it can take a toll on us littles. You can set up at least one night a week where you get to video chat with no interruptions. It's important to me for him to show me I matter. I know how it is. Some days are busier than others and barely any words are passed. The thing is you can't spam him. That will annoy him and possibly make him mad. Set up ground rules first and grow your rules. I like to keep mine in a shared document with him. Good morning texts and good night texts keep contact. For me, the good morning sets the day off and breaks it into a conversation, even if it is minimal. Weekends, though? Yeah, he is mine. It's all a personal thing, though! Every relationship is different and you both need to work out something for the both of you. There is a balance that needs to be found.