I need some advise please

[Isabel]

So... I´m a little and have just started to have contact with a guy who´s new to the whole DDLG thing. He still takes over his role perfectly. We have met, we talk and chat alot aswell, BUT I feel so confused and unsure at the same time. Not unsure of him being my Daddy, but unsure of the future. The problem is, I don´t know what he´s looking for. For me, a DDLG relationship must involve love or it feels too sexual for me. I want a relationship in the future, or even now, I am in love with him, but we haven´t talked much about our love for each other. He might love me as his little, but his forever one? His girlfriend? His own precious babygirl? I don´t know.... AND I´m so unsure of asking him. Still, I want to know so badly. But it feels like im a little too straight forward, a little early, but I just want to know, it doesn´t necessary have to be a relationship with me if it turns out he doesn´t like me more than a sexual object, but I just want to know what he wants out of this.

 

PLEASE, give me some advice. What should I do? Should I ask, and if so, HOW should I ask the question?

Edited December 17, 2016 by Isabel

[Dumbledork'sPrincess]

My best advice is yes you should ask him. And I think the best way to do it is just go for it.

There is no point in tiptoeing around it.

 

Maybe try something like, 'I want to ask you a question. I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm not sure how to ask so I'm just gonna go for it. What are you feelings towards me? Am I your baby girl or am I your little only in the bedroom?'

 

And then you'll just have to take it from there

[Daisies&Donuts]

You say you've just started talking. What you are feeling is far more likely to be Infatuation than love. Sometimes we project our needs and desires onto someone because they seem to fit our expectations, but it takes time to genuinely know and understand someone. Only when we truly and thoroughly understand someone can we love them. I would avoid stating expectations of forever and "love" at this point.

 

However, you have every right to know where a relationship may lead. It would be wise to tell your Daddy that you've been considering your expectations and realized that you want a relationship that will one day lead to love and that you really want to find a life partner and ask whether or not he shares those expectations. If he does not, I suggest you move on before your heart becomes any more involved.

 

Expectations of the future are something you should agree on *before* you begin a relationship with someone. So you haven't discussed this yet, I really suggest you do so now.

 

Edit: there's a reason dating websites ask you if you want to be married or have children someday. There is no point falling in love with someone when you know you have different or opposing goals. Discuss what you want now

Edited December 17, 2016 by Daisies&Donuts

[splendabae]

i agree with daisies&donuts, but this is definitely something you should communicate with him! it's not fair to you if you enter into this relationship wanting more, when he might not take it as seriously. i think you need to find the confidence to ask him what he's expecting from your current situation. express that you don't want to go into the relationship without being sure about the nature of it or knowing what it is he wanted from you. the hardest part is finding the right time to talk, but honestly there is no "right" time. "hey i have some questions!" is a good start. good luck!

[Antoinette]

Have you ever heard the phrase 'you don't ask, you don't get.' well it's true. If you don't ask him what he wants out of the relationship it's very unlikely that you'll get what you want out of the relationship and it'll just become unfulfilling for both people and you'll drift away from each other. That's how things work. If you can't communicate adequately with him now I fear you probably won't ever be able to; which confuses me because I don't know how you can love someone but not be able to talk to them. When I'm in love with someone the very foundation of that love is built off of superb communication - maybe that's what's wrong with relationships these days, we see a common interest, something two people want and we lunge into the unknown without a second thought. That's how people drown. That's how relationships end.

[Guest Officedad]

Communication is key, be upfront and ask him, be honest about your feelings.

[Guest Youandme]

Take time... Know each other more or maybe you take time to know him more... Ddlg D/S is a lifestyle but thing is it starts just as a normal relationship, things is slowly as both get comfortable knowing each others wish the dynamic of ddlg D/S takes place. Don't let yourself be lost in future too much, try to be in the moment. If he cares the way you wish then maybe he knows a bit of ddlg. Slowly as time moves along and you both find it good with each other, ask him what he expects from both of you in the relationship ....

[Guest *Aurora*]

You definitely need to ask, this works just like any other relationship. Communication from both parties is key. If there are any doubts at all or uncertainty with either of you it must be put out there so it can be settled, not matter how unsure or awkward or afraid. If things between you two are getting to a point of seriousness it is important for both of you to know what the other wants or is looking for in this realtionship. That way you know right at the beginning and can gauge whether this is the right thing for you either of you, before emotions get involved and time is wasted. Also there is no rush, take your time, go at your own pace and let things happen naturally. The less you worry the easier the transition will be. Good luck