Being caregiver-less

[PrincessCupcake]

Hai! Otay, so basically I'm talking to a girl, she knows I'm a little, and she's very open minded. But, she doesn't really get involved in ddlg, she prefers the kinkier side of BDSM, whereas I'm actually very vanilla when it comes to sexy times. I want to see if I can find a babysitter, like someone who I can go to when I'm in littlespace... how do I tell her this? It'd be completely non sexual and I think I'm in love with this girl, and I don't wanna mess up... What do yew guys think?

[Antoinette]

...Well, you just tell her exactly what you've said here - that you want a non-sexual type babysitter. 

[Princess-P]

I think that relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Its absolutely possiblento have a non sexual caregiver while being in a relationship with someone else. AS LONG AS ALL PEOPLE INVOLVED ARE AWARE. you can't lie to one to keep the other. It must be consentual on all sides.

 

However while you may think your in love with someone are you sure? Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who can't fulfill your needs? You don't sound compatible. She's into the harder side of BDSM, your vanilla. You won't be able to satisfy her sexual desire and she wont satisfy you if either of you have to change or sacrifice something for the other.

 

I would think hard about this. If you want to date this girl regardless of your differences, be honest. Tell her what you need. Say exactly what you mean and don't shy away from it. Starting a relationship without honesty and communication will always lead to problems later on. You must know what each expects from the other.