Advice for a new little?

[LilLulu✨]

I'm nineteen years old and I want to try this with my partner. He's always pointed out that I'm like a child and the other night I was throwing a paddy, sulking, kicking my legs, telling him no in a very, very slightly childlike voice and surprisingly he got really, really turned on by it. We also started playing together, like he would pick me up and tickle me and throw me about and I tried to run away but he kept catching me and chasing me. I really loved it, I felt so, so happy and close to him and he seemed to be having a lot of fun too. I felt right, like I was fully being me. So I want to ask, how do I bring this up to my partner, that I want to try something like this? I'm scared he may be a little freaked out by it. Also, as someone who's never, ever done anything like this before, I mostly just want to know what to do. I want to explore this side of me so much but I have no idea how. Thank you guys for any advice you can give:3

[Guest ZenDD]

This question about how to speak to a partner about one's wishes or desires, sadly, comes up waaaay too often. I'll reiterate what i've said in another similar post: No one should ever be "scared" to talk to their significant other about anything. Your issue has nothing to do with DDlg; it has everything to do with having a strong-enough, deep-enough relationship with our partners in order to have a healthy, apprehensive-free, emotional environment for healthy communication.

 

If you're having communication issues, or you have a fear of being judged by your partner for your wishes, desires, or exploration of your identity and other psychological needs, then you might not have as strong a relationship as you think you do. Some couples counseling could help with that, if you feel confident enough to express to him the need for wanting to have better communication in your relationship. 

 

If your issue isn't psychological but more socially based, then there are multiple books and online resources you can research to learn about how to better communicate your feelings with others. Researching interpersonal communication can help you gain some knowledge on things that can impede healthy communication. Remember, your issue has nothing to do with DDlg, it has to do with communication, so don't mix up these issues and you'll be fine.

 

Never sacrifice your identity for the sake of a relationship. That only becomes a ticking time-bomb and that relationship will not stand the test of time. Respect your own needs and don't be afraid to acknowledge them. If someone isn't compatible with those needs, then it isn't meant to be. If he respects and loves you, he'll be open to your needs as long as he feels compatible to them. He has a right to make that choice, just as you have a right to express who you are and what you would like to explore. Good luck.