Severe Anxiety in Little Space

[alotalittle]

Hi everyone,

 

I've been out of the CG/l community and lifestyle for about a year and a half now. However, the desire to be little (not all the time, but sometimes) has never fully gone away and has gotten more intense for me as of late. Currently, I'm unable to go into little space without having severe anxiety and sometimes even a full blown panic attack. It's bad enough that I don't feel comfortable attempting to indulge in the sexual side of that dynamic with my partner because I'm concerned about the panic attack that might happen if I do. 

 

I'd like to be able to relax enough to get into little space on my own, but haven't been able to do so. The last attempt at this I made, I ended up having a meltdown and throwing away the new crayons and coloring book that I bought for myself. 

 

I guess my question is, do any other littles experience severe anxiety in little space sometimes? And how do you help your inner little deal with this anxiety? Or is the better solution for me to not try to go into little space?

 

I appreciate any and all feedback

[Guest QueenJellybean]

I think the best way to help yourself understand this dilemma is trying to get the root of why this is happening. It's clear that it hasn't always been this way, so maybe you need to do some soul searching and discover why this wall has been erected, and what you can do to change it. 

[Antoinette]

If this is a new thing that you're experiencing within your little space it could be an underlying problem or even a problem that's not even associated with DD/lg or little space whatsoever, things that are personally worrying you and not allowing you to fully regress. 

 

I would suggest speaking to a professional about it, if you're comfortable even bring up age regression - you need not mention DD/lg, I'm sure they understand the concept of age regression as it's a well known, documented psychological coping mechanism and is really more common than you'd imagine. 

 

The only way you'll be able to understand what the real problem is, is to ask yourself why you're anxious and ask yourself how you can overcome these bouts of nervousness. The real question you have to constantly ask yourself is what, in all seriousness, is the worst that could happen?

[alotalittle]

Thank you both for the replies. I feel like I got a lot out of reading them.

 

xAntoinette, I really like your perspective on things. I do believe that the problem only partially lies in my little space. At the moment, I'm not looking for a therapist to speak with (it's very expensive and I've had a lot of experiences with therapists in the past...some good and some bad). Perhaps after my partner and I move this summer, I might look into it a little more. 

 

My anxiety enjoys telling me what it thinks the worst thing that could happen would be...though I know, logically, those worst case scenarios are rarely grounded in reality. 

[PrincessSacrifice]

I usually find that my anxiety is what puts me into severe little space and I find that I just cry a lot

[Guest LittleLexiKitty]

I personally do sometimes. Mine is random though, some times ill have no anxiety and ill be happy.

Other times (like today) ill be so terrified and having a big anxiety attack where i dont even want to be touched.

 

I agree with others where they said, find the root of why you're having an anxiety attack and go from there ^.^ i wish the best for u!

[Guest softheartbruisedknees]

 

My anxiety enjoys telling me what it thinks the worst thing that could happen would be...though I know, logically, those worst case scenarios are rarely grounded in reality. 

 

It sounds like you're having intrusive thoughts caused by anxiety. They are completely random, uncharacteristic, and caused by anxiety not you! They are upsetting, distressing, and can become an obsession.

 

A good way to combat intrusive thoughts is to not try to give it any meaning.

Don't give it any weight by asking "What does this say about who I am?", overanalyzing why you had the thought, or concentrating on playing it out or what would happen if it were real. 

 

The best response I have found for my own intrusive thoughts been recognizing that I'm having an intrusive thought and knowing that it is random, caused by anxiety, and not coming from me. It usually holds no power over me after that

 

Read more about intrusive thoughts here.

Edited December 15, 2016 by softheartbruisedknees

[FLdaddy]

I answered a similar question in the past but I can't find the link to the post. So I will try and do it here again. Hope this helps!

 

I get a lot of questions from littles asking how they can take part in the lifestyle even though they have anxiety or past trauma that caused PTSD. While I know a great deal bout trauma and the things that can trigger it, I am no expert! Most of the things in my life I have had to deal with is helping people out with physical trauma, with a little bit of the emotional aspect of it. For example helping those through hard time after a loss of a loved one, or being a support structure for those whom have been abused.

 

Here are a few questions i have come across. I'm constantly worried about my behavior around people: Am I too hyper that I come off as annoying? Am I too friendly that I come off as being fake? Are those people laughing at me or are they laughing about something else and I just happen to be walking past? Am I a burden to Daddy with my mental illnesses? What if people are only friends with me because they pity me?

 

As you can see the ones whom ask these questions would be a little that some men or women would call, "high maintenance". I need lots of reassurance, attention, and support. Not everyone can put up with mental illnesses, either because they have their own or because they lack the knowledge behind it and how to help. If you're not willing to put up with your little's "bad side" or mental health issues, you don't deserve them at their best.

 

As a Daddy or Mommy, your job is to care for you little in many different ways. When your little has an anxiety disorder or a history of trauma, more patience, understanding, and care is required. People have different coping methods for dealing with their anxiety and calming down. What may work for them may not work for others. You need to understand your little's symptoms and work with them to see how to nip the attack in the bud or calm them down after the peak.

 

Dealing with your little's anxiety in general: 

 

A common idea for helping a loved one with anxiety is to simply be supportive. Remove your little from the situation or the trigger and tell them to take deep breaths (especially if hyperventilation occurs) and count slowly with each inhale. Talk to your little in a soothing and calming voice; avoid raising your voice as it may startle them more. Speak words of encouragement and positive messages such as, "Everything's okay. You're going to be okay and it will pass."

 

Do not tell them, "You have nothing to worry about." While this is a sweet (yet generic) statement, if the little has panic disorder, we known that we have nothing to worry about yet the attacks still come randomly. We don't choose to worry or have attacks. This statement is almost as bad as telling a depressed person, "You have nothing to be sad about. People have it worse than you." Everyone deals with stress differently.

 

Do not touch your little unless asked. I've heard this from friends who also deal with anxiety, hugging is a real hit or miss for calming attacks. Most of the time only a select amount of people can get away with hugging and a back rub without creating more of a sense of panic.

 

Never ever shame your little for having an attack or for asking for your help. It doesn't matter how small the issue is, just don't do it. You're supposed to make them feel safe, not shame them and make them feel worse for having something they have little to no control over.

 

Anxiety and the lifestyle:

 

Communication with limits and safe words are going to be your best friend. Whether you're into bondage, S/M, or D/s dynamic you and your partner need to have a safe word picked out. This is even more important with anxiety because that one word can stop an entire scene and bring on the needed (after) care. You can choose an overall word or have two: use one for something that's pushing their limit, and the other to signify that something in the scene is setting off an attack. 

 

Take note of your little's body language and check in with them every so often, even if they haven't used their safe word. For some littles, there's some shame and embarrassment in using the safe word due to the fear of disappointing their Daddy or Mommy. Remind them that there's nothing wrong with needing to pause or stop a scene.

 

With bondage it's best to start of with small and simple ties. If your little is curious about bondage but has anxiety, work your way up until there is a level of comfort established. Start off with simple arm restraints and ask them how they feel. Have equipment near by such as a cutting utensil (especially for difficult ties) to undo them if your little begins to feel negatively restrained, frightened, or even uncomfortable. 

 

It's very important to have safety equipment near by and your handy-dandy aftercare kit. Always be prepared.