Meanie head little..

[Kiya]

Hiya.. 

 

I was mean to my daddy, and here's the story. I'm known for not thinking before I speak but I try too, really hard, but sometimes it gets the best of me. I am also a SUPER jealous little. Like, I get jealous over like everything. Attention wise also. I dislike when he gets lots of attention because I want him to get only my attention and I want him to pay attention to me, but when he is with his friends, he like... doesn't pay attention to me. But, anyways. He was being the center of attention, and I didn't like it, so I didn't think before I spoke and I started talking mean about him.. I told him that I was very sorry and I told him what I said and he replied with something along the lines of, "I have lots of things to say about you, but I still don't say them." So then I got really mad and sad, so I walked away from him, and then only came back for a kiss and didn't tell him I loved him. I don't think he said it either, so we walked away from each other and now.. I dunno.. I apologized and told him that I didn't mean it.. 

 

Anyways, all I'm asking is what should I do? I like when he's happy. How should I make him happy? Apologies, he forgives, but does not make him happy.

 

Sorry, this is really long. You don't have to read it <3 

Edited December 2, 2016 by Smooches

[Guest Nordy]

Could it be possible that your Daddy find it difficult to not be a Daddy around you? If he wants it secret from his friends it might be easier to shift attention away, finish the social gathering, then give you his all, to avoid friends picking up on it.

 

To me it sounds like you both are probably really young (says the 24 year old), and to me it might seem like you are both a bit absorbed with the roles. If that's the case maybe spend a few days together outside of the roles and interact together as just adults in a relationship. It might make social interactions easier.

 

For you personally, you could always try to remember that your Daddy chose to be with you, and that every single day, every single minute, he choose you again and again. Even when friends are over, he still choose you, though his attention might be shifted.

 

Regarding what you said, and judging from his reaction, I believe that you both need a little time to digest what was said and how it was preceived... Telling your partner "I have lots of things to say about you, but I still don't say them." is an emotional, and kind of immature way to reply. Give him a little time before you come back and explain that you said those things because you were overly jealous and wanted your way "RIGHT NOW" (which I believe is fairly common in your dynamic).

 

Disclaimer, I completely understand him for replying what he did. There was a time where I would've replied the same thing...

Edited December 2, 2016 by Nordy

[Tasha-Pasha]

Dear Smooches,

I am trying really hard to write something uplifting and supportive here but I am finding it really difficult.

It is not okay to treat anyone the way you are treating your daddy unless you have a predetermined contract with your partner outlining this behaviour as part of your relationship.

Saying sorry for behaving a certain way and then continuing the behaviour is disrespectful and makes the apology meaningless. How long do you think your daddy should have to put up with this behaviour? How long would you put up with this behaviour if the roles were reversed?

You asked for advice; here it is: stop treating your partner in ways that you know are disrespectful. Who knows how much longer he will put up with it before deciding that the negatives of this relationship far outweigh the positives?

[Antoinette]

''I am a SUPER jealous little.'' 

''I want him to get only my attention.'' 

''but when he is with his friends, he like... Doesn't pay attention to me.'' 

''He was being the center of attention and I didn't like it.'' 

''I started talking mean about him.'' 

 

Now let me just change the context of this a little. 

 

''I am a SUPER jealous daddy."

"I want her to get only my attention."

"But when she's with her friend's, she like... Doesn't pay attention to me."

"She was being the center of attention and I didn't like it."

"I started talking mean about her."

 

You're not a victim in this. In fact, they way you're talking about this makes you seem controlling and abusive to be perfectly honest, the way I see it you'd like to isolate your daddy so you're the only one in his life and when that fantasy isn't fulfilled and he does a completely normal, healthy thing (hanging out with his friends) you verbally attack him for no good reason.

 

I'm sorry but if this same thing was written by a guy about a girl the whole response would be different. Your daddy shouldn't have to put up with this, quite honestly it is abuse and it is disgusting. I'd advise him to get as far away from you as possible - if you like it when he's happy why are you being so angry that he has friends? It's normal for people to socialise with others and spend time away from their partner - that's healthy. 

 

Jealousy is an emotion that seeks to prevent loss and I think you're feeling so much jealousy because deep down you know that your behavior is abusive and you don't want to lose him to the abuse you're putting him through. Jealousy makes us seek precautionary measures, in this case - you're trying to isolate him, to keep him to yourself.

 

Honestly I'm sorry that this is so harsh but it's true (in my perspective), you need seriously help and if you care about this guy at all you should leave him and get help. 

Edited December 2, 2016 by xAntoinette

[Baby_squirrel]

Edited December 2, 2016 by Baby_squirrel

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

I have to agree with some of the previous posters in saying your behavior is in no way acceptable. I think you might benefit from talking to someone about this. Stuff like this normally stems from insecurities and you need to face and deal or it going to get worse.

 

You can't treat anyone like that - more so your partner. It's fine to be clingy occasionally but promoting social isolation is pretty much abuse. If roles were reversed and your boyfriend was acting this way - he'd be crucified by society for being abusive and your friends would be telling you how you need to leave and how much better off you'd be without him. I am not going to go that far but I will say that you need to take steps to stop this cycle now or it will be a repeated theme in your life and that will never give you any kind of long term stability. I am not trying to be cruel, I am just telling you from experience that this level of jealousy is toxic and can only breed more toxicity.

 

I don't think anyone is going to tell you that his unhappiness is unwarranted - I also don't think there's anything you are going to be able to do make him happy other than changing your poop behavior. He sticks around so clearly he loves you - repay his dedication and loyalty by showing him you love him enough to change for the better.

[DaddysMonkey]

     I have to say like many others , I agree with above posts.

 

     When I first started reading your thread... I thought to myself.. "Hmm , I have to admit I have said things in anger before , maybe this won't go down a bad road." I was very sadly mistaken. When I go to give people advice , I really try my best to put myself in all peoples shoes possible in the situation. I really wonder what your Daddy was feeling when all of this was happening. Mostly , I am very sad for the embarrassment he must have felt. Not only for himself and the lack of respect he obviously receives , but the embarrassment he must feel for you. It reminds me of the feeling of a person in a store with an unruly child. Most of the people you were saying these terrible things about him to were probably thinking , "Wow , that guy must be doing something wrong." "How could she act that way ?" "She must not love him to talk that way about him."

 

     Do you really love your Daddy ? Or do you need help with your jealousy , or maybe some deep rooted abandonment issues ? That is what it sounds like to me. 

 

     Much like the other people who have replied , I mean no ill will.... rather I have much worry for you and your Daddy both. It doesn't seem to be a very healthy relationship to me. (Unless otherwise agreed upon) , your Daddy should be allowed to have his freedom as should you. If you prefer to not have that freedom , that is very much your choice. BUT , it sounds like your Daddy would like at least some time with his friends even if you are there with him. Which you should be grateful for. There are a lot of people in relationships who will not budge on having alone time away from their S/O.

 

     I would highly suggest asking about how your Daddy feels , and just LISTENING. Not talking back , trying to reason your actions with him.. just listening. And trying to understand how he feels when you act that way. How would you feel if you were being given a lot of attention and he was on the back burner , and he began to say terrible things about you to your friends to only receive an "I'm sorry."

     

     I'm really at a loss of words for your actions , I personally would be too shameful to even post something like this I had done to my Daddy. I think you should really take a deep look into yourself , and ask if you are ready to be in a relationship right now.

 

     I am sorry if any of this hurt your feelings or offended you , but I truly feel your actions were so so wrong and uncalled for. I have hurt in my heart for your Daddy and I really hope you can make it up to him somehow if you two stay together in this dynamic.

 

     Best of luck.