Help me understand **Self harm and abuse trigger warning**

[Throwawayaccount1]

**Self harm and abuse trigger warning** (Better safe than sorry)

 

Hello! So I'll get right into the thick of it as to not drag this on. I've been with my little girl for about four years now. We've had ups and downs of course but we've always come back to each other. We have no issues now on a day to day basis. I'm writing this to ask what is your perspective on her dd/lg lifestyle? She has trouble with social anxiety. Usually only wanting to go out with me around, when I'm not around she'll call me or face time me. She's adorable.

 

Anyway besides social troubles she was abused by her step father as a child. From what she's said it was never a sexual thing. He'd lock her away in her room. Shutting off all lights and closing all windows. She would be subjected to complete darkness. She had self harmed a lot, usually her legs. 

 

Through the four and half years of being a couple and dd/lg she's become a lot better. She can sleep with nearly no light on instead of a large reading light beside her. She stopped cutting a year into the relationship because of me. We love each other to bits. She is able to snap into normality but whenever she sees me she melts and becomes my little. The social problem isn't exactly a problem when I'm around (All the time) So please. Do not worry nothing is wrong I'm just curious what do you think caused her to love dd/lg. After writing this I kind of assume its for that feeling of constant protection and care. I am the one in charge for her. Regardless please give me any ideas or theories. 

[LoralieHaze]

Since none of us are your little girl, none of us can tell you why she likes it or what she gets from it. You have to ask her that and talk to her about it. The most we can do is only guess, or tell you about our own experience.

[Guest PrincessSweetPea]

It's always great that you can be there for her.

[Throwawayaccount1]

I'm just simply wanting people to guess. Just try and guess and theorize from your own perspective and personal experiences. Obviously this goes without saying you know your own boundaries on how much you want us to know

[Mr. Walden]

I'm just curious what do you think caused her to love dd/lg..... please give me any ideas or theories.

her background sounds almost verbetom like my ex-wife, RIP. I'll spare you details, but all I have to say is be extremely vigilant of her behavior. If things go south with her mental health, feel free to message me and Ill help out as much as I can.

 

(putting my armchair psychologist hat on)... at face value, she may be subconsciously attempting to gain a positive father figure in her life, something that she never had before. DDLG could be the "easiest" venue for her to achieve that sense of comfort and security. this is neither a good thing nor bad. just be aware of what she requires in a relationship, and do the best you can to fulfill that role.

 

i have been down the exact same path you seem to be on. love, cherish, support and nurture her... just please be careful and vigilant. I'll leave it at that.

 

communicate, communicate, communicate.

 

WF

Edited November 28, 2016 by WaldenFound