Hey guys. Im in need of some guidance,

[Guest AlliPrincess]

Okay so, I've been in a relationship for 3 years. Me and him used to get along Beautifully at first, But once i introduced him into ddlg he basically told me he wanted nothing to do with it.   so I've basically been trying to channel my little self into a box and keep her hidden from everyone including him, I just feel like i need to be myself, I'm really stressed out. Any advice you can give me will help.

[Guest PrincessSweetPea]

Maybe try bringing it up to him again if it's been a while since you last talked about it? I feel like he should understand who you are as a person if you guys are important to each other. You shouldn't have to hide yourself and it's fair for you as a person not to hide!

Edited November 28, 2016 by PrincessSweetPea

[Tasha-Pasha]

Okay so, I've been in a relationship for 3 years. Me and him used to get along Beautifully at first, But once i introduced him into ddlg he basically told me he wanted nothing to do with it. so I've basically been trying to channel my little self into a box and keep her hidden from everyone including him, I just feel like i need to be myself, I'm really stressed out. Any advice you can give me will help.

Hi AlliPrincess;

 

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. What do you mean you have been channeling your little into a box? Do you spend time as a little?

We all need to take care of ourselves. This is called self care. Some people go for walks, or exercise, or take a bubble bath. Other people meditate, listen to music, or engage in some kind of kink/fetish play. Regardless of your situation with your boyfriend it is important that you are engaging in some form of self care to help you manage your stress levels in your life.

The only other suggestion I have is communication. Talk with your boyfriend. This does not need to be an ultimatum kind of discussion. There are options. Are you able to live with age play only (being in little space) without having the dd/lg dynamic as part of your relationship? If so, are you able to negotiate set times with your boyfriend when you will engage in being little (just like women book time for themselves to go to a spa or get their nails done). This will be your time, whether your bf is there or not is up to the two of you. If you are finding that you need the dd/lg dynamic then perhaps you can find a dd to have a non-sexual relationship with (I am assuming that your relationship is monogamous here). This would need to be discussed with your boyfriend. Would he be comfortable with you finding someone outside of your relationship to fulfill this desire that is inside of you?

There are many options available to you but it will take having an honest conversation with your partner to fully explore all of them. Good luck!

Edited November 28, 2016 by Tasha-Pasha

[DarlinStarrz]

Maybe try bringing it up to him again if it's been a while since you last talked about it? I feel like he should understand who you are as a person if you guys are important to each other. You shouldn't have to hide yourself and it's fair for you as a person not to hide!

 

Valid point! Maybe you can bring it back up again, and together come up with at least some kind of compromise, something you both could live with. No person should have to change themselves entirely, or hide who they are, in order to keep someone else happy. That's not fair to you. Everyone deserves happiness, safety, and love.

[Guest Domwolfie]

You only you are responsible for your happiness. Love is not binding the other, not it is a possession. You cannot and never should change your own being, I would say talk about your feelings slowly with patience and try to explain him that you like it. If he cares I am sure he will understand you. If you keep hiding your true self you will not be able to explore your own self which will create more stress. I will say you need to talk about it seriously, I don't wish things to mess up with him but dear friend you deserve your happiness and you will get it when you are yourself and not trying to be different for the others. True love is accepting the other for who they are and helping each other to grow into their being. If ever you wish to talk more about it, you can send me a message.

[Guest Ginger Step]

I am sorry it sounds like your boyfriend rejected the Little part of your personality. I understand how dissatisfied it must be to have Little needs and not have a place to express them,especially in a intimate relationship. It is never a no no to revisit a conversation, I would use "I" language(I need to understand your reservation...)(I feel rejected when you responded....) If the results of this revisit of the subject do not spur a understanding,compromise or foot hold of potential growth in your relationship. You have a hard question to answer for yourself. How do I remain me and survive in this relationship? Life is to short,mot to be able to "giggle" like a Little with the one you trust and love.