help with being clingy along with a big time gap (ldr) and other stuff?

[Guest ammy]

hii !

first i'm just gonna say maybe trigger warning because anxiety?

 

but yeah, i really would like some help :c

so I'm super happy that I have a daddy now, even though he lives far away (like, a 6 hour time difference) but I'm having a really hard time with when he's gone because of sleep and I really really understand his situation! so I try to be supportive as I can, but when he does go I feel like my anxiety goes x100 and that I have separation anxiety like a dog with it's owner.. I just miss him so much and I don't have anyone else to talk to because of my social anxiety. It makes it hard to keep a friend relationship even online.. but does anyone know things that help? I don't want him to ever feel guilty for sleeping or anything !! I feel bad for being so needy :c

[Antoinette]

Maybe you should look into therapy or counselling of some sorts, if your anxiety is that bad that you can't handle your DD going to sleep. I know what it's like to have to deal with large time gaps (ugh, me and my obsession with Americans), I even dated somebody from California and there was an 8 hour time gap so that was kinda horrific. You kinda just have to adapt and work with it. Being needy is normal, especially in this kind of relationship but you should also know how to be your own person.

 

Do you have any hobbies? If not, get some. Join a sports team. I know it's hard if you have anxiety but you have to ask yourself what is the worst that could happen? I highly suggest a book called 'First Steps Out of Anxiety' by Kate Middleton, it's a fantastic and extremely helpful book which helps you better understand and deal with anxiety. 

 

Make other friends. Once again I know this is hard but even if they're online friends, they're still friends. If you could talk to and build a relationship with your DD what's stopping you from making other friends? You have to take life and live it to the fullest, you can't be setback by things like this. I know you can't control it but you have to try to overcome it. It sounds easier than it is but what's the point if you don't try? 

 

So my suggestions broken down. 

 

1) Seek out professional help. 

2) Read First Steps Out of Anxiety by Kate Middleton.

3) Get some hobbies. 

4) Try to slowly make friends.

[Guest ammy]

thanks you guys ..!! ♥️ i know i have really bad anxiety cause i live in the middle of nowhere with nowhere to go or meet people , and i have a therapist and psychiatrist too but my anxiety is still a problem.. I try my best to not be needy, I just get SO attatched that i get selfish and want to spend all the time with him.

And as for hobbies, i don't really leave the house cause there's not much to do.. I like to doodle sometimes and origami, but nothing that really requires my full attention. i've looked if there were any sports things around me and theres only a kids ballet class. I'll read that book though !

about friends I'm just really shy, and usually i hide from people because i'm anxious and then lose touch with them x(

but thank you so so much antoinette ! i really appreciate it

 

and thank you too Nolana !! I don't have school or work but your ideas are great♥️ I'm trying to get into school so if i can do that maybe it'll help!

[Guest WoltzSandage]

Rule 2: If you're clingy beyond control, then go ahead and be that way. I love it even more if that's truly you.

[Guest ammy]

I wish I could be clingy as i wanted, but then he wouldn't get any sleep u.u

[sammyxoxo]

I'm in an ldr with my daddy too and there is a 4 hour time difference so when it is 11:26pm here (that's what time it is now) it's only 7:26pm for him. I usually will try to stay up a little later so that I can talk to him because he works. He will usually try to talk to me for a little bit throughout the day, even when he is at work because I think he knows how much I miss him.

Some things that help me though are just doing different little things. I will watch disney movies, play with my stuffies, color, blow bubbles, or do different crafts.

I also have a tumblr that is for little stuff...so that helps me.

If you ever want another little to talk to when you get lonely, feel free to add and message me! :3

[Guest WoltzSandage]

I wish I could be clingy as i wanted, but then he wouldn't get any sleep u.u

I wish I could help somehow.

[SharkPrince]

My partner and I aren't long distance so I can't give too much here. But when she does go away (scotland mainly) she'll record voice messages for me that I can listen to while we're apart and that really helps

[Guest Princessaj]

My best way to get over myself is to get out of myself and help someone, animal, group.

 

No matter how in the middle of nowhere you are in the smallest place, there is always someone, animal, group that you can volunteer to help.

 

You will be helping them and they will be helping you.

 

If you really get into someone, animal, group other than yourself, you can let go of things for a little while.

 

A little help is better than none at all.

[Guest ammy]

sorry this reply is so late !!

i don't go online as much.. but thank you guys it means a lot !

I try to keep myself occupied but i have such a short attention span haha, and the voice message idea is really cute.

And I did look, there is a place to volunteer, I need to get my drivers license first to get there u~u but thank you, I know that getting out and focusing on something besides yourself really helps

[Guest Princessaj]

Great for finding a volunteer opportunity! Some thoughts on getting you involved sooner....

 

1. I suggest that you ask, if you haven't already, if there are any other volunteers in your area or come through your way that you might car pool with to volunteer. This way you meet other volunteers and have someone that you can be accountable to in getting a ride to volunteer.

 

2. Ask the organization if there is preparation, study, research, training you can do from home so that you are connected to the group in advance. Being and staying connected once you have found the volunteer opportunity is incentive to keeping your focus and intention. Hugs