Off and On DD/Lg

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

So I was the one in my relationship(now almost three years) to come out and say I wanted to experiment with DD/LG stuff to my bf. He was hesitant at first and really didn't like the idea but it grew on him over time and now I think he really enjoys it. However some weeks all role play just gets thrown out the door or forgotten and I feel very neglected as a little. It happens usually when something stressful occurs like money issues or an argument and can last over a week. I really love my Daddy and never want to leave him, but I also really want a serious and full time DD/LG relationship. I don't really know what to do. Any thoughts?      PS. My little age is 3-4.

Edited November 20, 2016 by ShyShytheCryBaby

[Spooky]

The first thing I suggest is talking to him about how you feel! He may be unaware that is what he is doing. He made need encouragement from you! 

 

You cannot know what he is thinking without discussion. 

 

If you have brought it up before and nothing changed, at least talk about it again and maybe think about moving on. 

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

The first thing I suggest is talking to him about how you feel! He may be unaware that is what he is doing. He made need encouragement from you! 

 

You cannot know what he is thinking without discussion. 

 

If you have brought it up before and nothing changed, at least talk about it again and maybe think about moving on. 

I have tried talking to him a little about it but more in a hinting sort of way like if we are sitting on the couch watching a movie I will ask him to brush my hair or make me a cup of warm soy milk(I'm vegan haha) and normally he just shrugs it off. I don't want to demand things from him but at the same time during these time periods he's usually really grumpy and I'm also worried if I ask to do little stuff he will just get more mad. I will just be more forward and ask him because its been almost two weeks now since we did any DD/LG stuff :'((( Thanks for the help <3

[Spooky]

Sorry if offend any men on here but

 

in my experience sometimes men need more than a push in the right direction, they require a map and nice hard SHOVE lol.

 

If he is being a GrumpyGus just be the sweetest little you can be and coax him into his Big Space!

 

And don't forget that your needs are valid and important, make sure they are being met.

 

Good luck!

[ziva vlad's kitten]

Is there anything you can do to so soften his mood? Like cook his favorite food or do something supper cute that makes him smile?

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

Sorry if offend any men on here but

 

in my experience sometimes men need more than a push in the right direction, they require a map and nice hard SHOVE lol.

 

If he is being a GrumpyGus just be the sweetest little you can be and coax him into his Big Space!

 

And don't forget that your needs are valid and important, make sure they are being met.

 

Good luck!

Thanks so much Spooky And I try and be the sweetest I can be always. Sometimes my daddy is just a beast (Im gonna give him a tiny shove tho and see what happens.) 

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

Is there anything you can do to so soften his mood? Like cook his favorite food or do something supper cute that makes him smile?

He loves Vegan chicken nugs. If I make him nugs with siracha mayo(vegan of course) he usually melts. That and faux "buttermilk" biscuits drizzled with agave syrup and dolloped with vegan whipped cream. Omg now I'm hungry lol. But yes normally when he's grumpy I do stuff for him but he never returns the favor. I'm sort of use to it now. 

[LoralieHaze]

May I ask what exactly is going on that's making him stressed or grumpy for the last two weeks? I think is very important to the topic because that can determine how you handle things.

 

My first instinct is to say that we can't always be little all the time. Sometimes we need to put on our big girl panties and leave our littleness on the back burner so that things can be dealt with in an adult way. This is something that is rarely ever mentioned on this forum and I feel that is needs to be said. That is true regardless of your situation but it only applies as advice if your Daddy has a legitimate reason for putting your DDlg play on pause. I don't know your situation though, only what I can interpret from what you've told us.

[hisangel]

He loves Vegan chicken nugs. If I make him nugs with siracha mayo(vegan of course) he usually melts. That and faux "buttermilk" biscuits drizzled with agave syrup and dolloped with vegan whipped cream. Omg now I'm hungry lol. But yes normally when he's grumpy I do stuff for him but he never returns the favor. I'm sort of use to it now. 

 

The bolded part of your post stood out to me. He needs to know that he is not doing his job as your Daddy. And you shouldn't settle for someone that doesn't want to fully be your Daddy unless you can try to be little on your own without him.

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

The bolded part of your post stood out to me. He needs to know that he is not doing his job as your Daddy. And you shouldn't settle for someone that doesn't want to fully be your Daddy unless you can try to be little on your own without him.

I think your right. But at the same time we have been together since HS and he is basically the only person to ever love me. So leaving him is a scary thought. I very much depend on him, I have extreme anxiety problems, and the only way I can leave my apartment is when he accompanies me.( I don't have a good relationship with my family) My daddy is all I have. ((( 

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

May I ask what exactly is going on that's making him stressed or grumpy for the last two weeks? I think is very important to the topic because that can determine how you handle things.

 

My first instinct is to say that we can't always be little all the time. Sometimes we need to put on our big girl panties and leave our littleness on the back burner so that things can be dealt with in an adult way. This is something that is rarely ever mentioned on this forum and I feel that is needs to be said. That is true regardless of your situation but it only applies as advice if your Daddy has a legitimate reason for putting your DDlg play on pause. I don't know your situation though, only what I can interpret from what you've told us.

I try really hard to put my big girl panties on but it can be so hard haha. I also have a few mental and physical issues that make it hard to act mature sometimes( for example I have bipolar disorder and can sometimes act out with my mood swings). But never the less I try really hard And it mostly money. I got laid off and now he is the sole provider. He agreed to letting me take a break from working. And he's looking for a second job, but right now rent is very pay check to pay check. I just hope everything works out  

[ziva vlad's kitten]

But yes normally when he's grumpy I do stuff for him but he never returns the favor. I'm sort of use to it now.

I try really hard to put my big girl panties on but it can be so hard haha. I also have a few mental and physical issues that make it hard to act mature sometimes( for example I have bipolar disorder and can sometimes act out with my mood swings). But never the less I try really hard And it mostly money. I got laid off and now he is the sole provider. He agreed to letting me take a break from working. And he's looking for a second job, but right now rent is very pay check to pay check. I just hope everything works out

Is it possible he DOES return the favor and you're just not recognizing it? Being the sole provider and even getting a second job is a lot. Perhaps thing like that and other ways he is there for you are his way of returning the favor?

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

Is it possible he DOES return the favor and you're just not recognizing it? Being the sole provider and even getting a second job is a lot. Perhaps thing like that and other ways he is there for you are his way of returning the favor?

He does a lot of things for me such as paying the rent and buying the food so I guess your right. In a way he is. But I still wish he were more there for me as a little. But I guess its also hard for him being so young. We are both 20. He is a good guy defiantly though. In no way is he abusive. Just stressed out.  

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

He does a lot of things for me such as paying the rent and buying the food so I guess your right. In a way he is. But I still wish he were more there for me as a little. But I guess its also hard for him being so young. We are both 20. He is a good guy defiantly though. In no way is he abusive. Just stressed out.

Hi hi :3

 

My Daddy and I have been together 4yrs and started very off-again on again in the sub/Dom world. My advice is telling him flat out you want it 24/7. I like you brought it up to Daddy to begin with, and I had to tell him I wanted it full time, too. This wasn't a conversation we had just once, but multiple times. We are finally where I wanna be.

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

Hi hi :3

 

My Daddy and I have been together 4yrs and started very off-again on again in the sub/Dom world. My advice is telling him flat out you want it 24/7. I like you brought it up to Daddy to begin with, and I had to tell him I wanted it full time, too. This wasn't a conversation we had just once, but multiple times. We are finally where I wanna be.

I will totally do that. I just hope he knows I appreciate him for what he's already doing.(I'm very polite to him and say my pleases and thank yous all the time) I don't want to be too demanding. Thank you for your advice, much appreciated <3 

[ziva vlad's kitten]

I am so glad to hear he is not abusive! I was starting to worry about that, after you said the only way you can leave your apartment is when he accompanies you, and that you don't have a good relationship with your family.

 

It's not surprising that money issues are the problem. It's the biggest problem in long term relationships. So don't worry that its you or him thats the problem and look for things to be grateful for.

Being grateful has to key benefits:

1. It helps to reduce stress and anxiety, because the more often you think about the things you're grateful for, the less you focus on the difficult or downright bad parts of life.

2. When you express your gratitude to those that are important in your life it strengthens your bond so that the difficult part of life or less likely to damage your relationships.

Edited November 20, 2016 by little ziva

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

I am so glad to hear he is not abusive! I was starting to worry about that, after you said the only way you can leave your apartment is when he accompanies you, and that you don't have a good relationship with your family.

 

It's not surprising that money issues are the problem. It's the biggest problem in long term relationships. So don't worry that its you or him thats the problem and look for things to be grateful for.

Being grateful has to key benefits:

1. It helps to reduce stress and anxiety, because the more often you think about the things you're grateful for, the less you focus on the difficult or downright bad parts of life.

2. When you express your gratitude to those that are important in your life it strengthens your bond so that the difficult part of life or less likely to damage your relationships.

I love this reply. I immediately started thinking of all the things I'm grateful for and theres a lot!  Next time we both worry about money I'll suggest we both come up with five things were grateful for! Maybe he will become less of a grump if we do that haha. Thank you so much for your help!!! <3 

[ziva vlad's kitten]

You should try playing the popcorn game! Say a quick little things that you are grateful for. Like... "I'm grateful for my cat" or "I'm thankful that you love me" you both just throw out little things like that that you're grateful for like popcorn popping as soon as it pops in your head. I love that game.

[hisangel]

It's good that he's not abusive to you, and I see that he is trying to cover basic needs. But IMHO, DDlg is a time consuming thing. Even just DD (domestic discipline) is time consuming. Me and my husband are only a year into DDlg, but have years in on DD. Both parties need to give their all if they want this to work out. Very rarely does it work out if only one of you are putting in the effort.

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

You should try playing the popcorn game! Say a quick little things that you are grateful for. Like... "I'm grateful for my cat" or "I'm thankful that you love me" you both just throw out little things like that that you're grateful for like popcorn popping as soon as it pops in your head. I love that game.

How did I not know about this game before haha! Sounds great and I will be trying it <3 

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

It's good that he's not abusive to you, and I see that he is trying to cover basic needs. But IMHO, DDlg is a time consuming thing. Even just DD (domestic discipline) is time consuming. Me and my husband are only a year into DDlg, but have years in on DD. Both parties need to give their all if they want this to work out. Very rarely does it work out if only one of you are putting in the effort.

Thanks so much for your concern I know its super time consuming, if I had it my way he would be a very stern and controlling daddy who picked out my outfits and stuff everyday. lol But like I said before I will be talking to him more about full time DD/LG play, I also have to remember that he has his own needs too and it might be hard for him to work two jobs then come home and give me a bath, brush my hair, color with me, read me a bedtime story, you know all that good stuff. I think at this point its all about us communicating and balancing his time and my little time. Also I really hope it works out, I truly love my Daddy. (fingers crossed) 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Thanks so much for your concern I know its super time consuming, if I had it my way he would be a very stern and controlling daddy who picked out my outfits and stuff everyday. lol But like I said before I will be talking to him more about full time DD/LG play, I also have to remember that he has his own needs too and it might be hard for him to work two jobs then come home and give me a bath, brush my hair, color with me, read me a bedtime story, you know all that good stuff. I think at this point its all about us communicating and balancing his time and my little time. Also I really hope it works out, I truly love my Daddy. (fingers crossed)

When you go into the conversation, make sure you're prepared. Talk about what you want from the relationship, what you're happy with now, and what you want to change.

 

Also I certainly think it's going to get more stressful when he takes on a second job. He's going to need you to be there for him more than he's going to be able to be there for you, at least in the beginning. I think all too often we forget that our Daddies need love and care, too... I know I do.

 

Most importantly start your changes slow so it isn't overwhelming all at once.

[Guest ShyShytheCryBaby]

When you go into the conversation, make sure you're prepared. Talk about what you want from the relationship, what you're happy with now, and what you want to change.

 

Also I certainly think it's going to get more stressful when he takes on a second job. He's going to need you to be there for him more than he's going to be able to be there for you, at least in the beginning. I think all too often we forget that our Daddies need love and care, too... I know I do.

 

Most importantly start your changes slow so it isn't overwhelming all at once.

All your advice is golden and I shall defiantly follow it. I want to be there for him as much as he is for me. I was kicked out of my home at 16 and he's been there for me since my junior year of High school. He deserves my support And I will wait for the right non stressful moment to bring it up. 

[pengudaddy]

When you go into the conversation, make sure you're prepared. Talk about what you want from the relationship, what you're happy with now, and what you want to change.

 

Also I certainly think it's going to get more stressful when he takes on a second job. He's going to need you to be there for him more than he's going to be able to be there for you, at least in the beginning. I think all too often we forget that our Daddies need love and care, too... I know I do.

 

Most importantly start your changes slow so it isn't overwhelming all at once.

 

This is the best post in this thread. Would you be willing to here my male p.o.v CryBaby? He's working Job A and about to go to Job B just to get by. I work full-time (40 hours a week, this is 8 hours a day) and when I get home, my brain feels like mush!! Work is stressful and working 2 jobs sounds awful! Nobody enjoys working, let's be honest! You know what helped me though? My little would greet me at the door (ok sometimes she was playing videogames because she enjoys Overwatch a bit much) but NOTHING makes me feel happier than having her greet me everyday. 

 

You need to be there for him. He needs reassurance. As Daddy or CG or Dom in general.. we are human too! We require aftercare; it may not be the same we give to you, but very much relate-able! 

You need to grind Dd/lg into his life, make it KNOWN his role is Daddy. Call him that, address him as such at all times. It really hammers the point home. And we like it (: If your relationship is serious to you, and so is Dd/lg, I think you two need to sit down and explain your feelings, while avoiding the words "you".

 

I just realized your last post was 4 hours ago, but if you are still stuck, you can always message me!