Having a hard time sticking to rules

[Pinkmilkandoreos]

One of  the things i spesifically like about DDlg relationships and asked my Daddy for is rules, however I seem to be having a rather difficult time sticking to them since the risk of punishment has gone down (various reasons id rather not state). Does anyone else have this issue? how do you work with it? any suggestion on making rules easier to follow?

[Guest PattyCake]

Hey!

I'm no expert, but I have experienced something similar to you.  I know that I like to have rules in place, but I'm terrible at keeping them.  Part of that reason is that I kind of like to break rules...especially in the beginning, to see how far I can go.  Part of the reason is I just forget sometimes though.  

 

One rule I have had before is "no texting while driving" and I often forget that rule.  Another rule I have had before is "no rolling your eyes", well I do that all the time, and even when I'm told to stop, I continue to do it, just to see how far I can push before I get in trouble lol.  It's kind of fun to me  And I find that Daddy's tend to like that too, what fun is having rules if you can't break them...they would never get to punish us if we never broke them lol.

 

But that is just my take on it, I'm sure others may feel differently

Edited November 20, 2016 by marie1987

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

You say you're having a hard time following them... is this a constant issue or just occasionally?

 

I am a brat. Point blank, brat with a capital B. I looovvvveee to break rules, but I hate to upset Daddy. I know, big contradiction huh? Well without strict punishments... I only get worse, and eventually dont listen at all.

 

My advice is, try to remember a little disobedience is playful, and cute, and fun. But pushing your limits constantly makes for a cranky Daddy.

[Antoinette]

Well, you said the risk of punishment has gone down - perhaps you should bring this up with your partner and tell him that it makes you want to break the rules because you feel like there won't be a consequence. As Babygirl said you could just be a brat and disobedience is playful. I myself am a brat but I always know that when I take it too far I'll get punished but also if it's obvious playfulness then it'll be regarded as such.

 

You should talk to him about it [: 

[ziva vlad's kitten]

Since you would rather not say why the risk of punishment has gone down, I will share a story about myself and the solution for me. Just in case our stories are at all similar. I hope it helps.

I wanted rules and asked for then, and punishments as well. When I broke rules and got punished I didn't handle it well, and it stressed Owner out immensely because my reactions would trigger his PTSD. So Owner decided that was too much stress on him and that he couldn't punish me anymore. I had to try to use self-control to follow the rules on my own, but I couldn't. I had been relying so heavily on him to keep me in line that my own ability to keep myself in line was too weak. I had to learn to be better at holding myself accountable for my own actions. We also got rid of most of the rules; they were too rigid for me and I'm more of an ebb and flow type of a person.

I slowly got better at being more responsible and knowing how much was too much to expect of myself.

I realized how much strain I had put on Owner and on our relationship by asking for rules and not then not being respectful and acting resentful, instead of being thankful for his help.

Eventually Owner became more open to the idea of rules again, but this he came up with the rules, not me. Now there are fewer rules, but they are better ones and I am better at not breaking them. The new punishments are also better. I still dislike them, but I am better at accepting them. An example would be when I didn't get ready when I was told and almost made Owner late to an appointment because I was reading a blog. When we got home I wasn't allowed to use the internet or play games for 2 hours. That might seem like a light punishment to some people but it did the trick. Owner did not feel too bad about it, I didn't freak out or even cry, but I did get ready when I was told after that!

So my advice:

1. Practice self-control.

2. See if the rules themselves need to be changed; they might be too hard.

3. See if the punishments need to be changed; they might be too harsh, either for you, or for your daddy.

4. Be respectful of both the rules and your daddy (even when you don't get punished for breaking rules).

5. Be thankful to your daddy for any help he gives you with following your rules, even when that help is a punishment.

6. Be proud of yourself when you are good.

7. Forgive yourself when you are bad

[LoralieHaze]

 And I find that Daddy's tend to like that too, what fun is having rules if you can't break them...they would never get to punish us if we never broke them lol.

 

It's so interesting to read stuff like this because it's almost the polar opposite of how I see things. I think "What is the point of having rules if you're always going to break them?" I don't believe in funishments either. For me, having rules and structure is so that my Daddy can help me be a better person and a more productive adult. I'm very rarely ever bratty and I have never broken any rules on purpose. Different strokes for different folks, right?

 

In regards to the OP, I agree with Ziva about the steps you should take. Also know that there is an adjustment period after changes are made and it's normal for you to not instantly adapt to those changes. If it's only been a few days since the punishments have decreased, then you're fine, but if it's been a few months, then another change needs to happen.

[daddysbubba]

I have this problem to... Some days I really feel like breaking the rules and the more I do the less I'm punished... I know this isn't a good idea but even when I am punished I like most of the punishments my daddy has put in place... This means my daddy gets quite upset with me and I dont like upsetting my daddy but I cant help it...

[SharkPrince]

Did you help decide on the rules or did your caregiver give them to you?

 

I find it's always easier to agree to and follow rules if I've had a part in making them. I've had issue with food in the past and "always eat" was a potential rule but with those issue sometimes it's almost physically impossible to eat and I would end up sad that I've broken a rule and things would get worse. So, the rule was made to do your best to eat or always attempt to eat so it's more catered to me as an individual and less likely to get broken