How to talk to my husband about trying DD/LG

[XxdaddysgoodgirlxX]

I just recently discovered DD/LG and i feel very draw to it and i am married i am 18. i am married t my husband of 2 years and for most of our relationship has been very vanilla .. i am scared to tell him im into this / wanting to try it with him. im scared he will think its weird or creepy but im really into it and i want to try it with him bad .. idk what to do what do you think >?

[beingthesubme]

I'm a little confused. You say that you've been married two years but you're only 18. Did your parents consent to that or?

 

First off I think it's important that you're happy in your relationship and that the relationship you're in was your choice.

 

Second you're young and sexuality is a complicated thing. I think in any marriage is to be expected that there will be growth of both people but especially when you get married so young. I think you should definitely try to find a way to talk to your husband or else you'll wonder.

 

I think you could gently introduce it to him, maybe tell him you read something about it and thought it was interesting. Also you might have a conversation with him and see if he has any hidden desires he hasn't told you about.

 

Good luck. Update everyone here and let us know how things are going.

[FLdaddy]

If you don’t ask him (or tell him), he’ll never have the chance to fulfill that need for you. For all we know, he may be feeling the same things as you (or similar). You both share certain kinks, maybe this is one of them…and perhaps one person doesn’t know how to bring it up to the other.

 

Do you trust him to keep you safe and protect you, no matter what? If yes, chances are he’ll hear you out and want to treat this as a learning experience to hear more about what you’re into. At its core, BDSM relationships require discussion of what each person’s soft and hard limits are. These discussions also commonly cover each person’s kinks, and (at least for you) it sounds like DD/lg is one of those that should be explored.

 

One of three things will happen:

 

He’ll be turned off by the idea, and not want to continue it further.

He’ll like the idea, and want to include it in scenes in the bedroom.

He’ll like the idea, and want to incorporate it into your daily lives.

In terms of how to suggest it to him, try just bringing it up casually. Such as:

 

Hey, so I’ve called you “Daddy” several times, and I’m wondering what you think about that. Can we talk about it?

 

Take the conversation from there. Another thing you can probably do is walk him down the aisles of the grocery store on a regular shopping trip, but pick out “little” things that catch your eye. Maybe jump up and down and squeal when you find something cute, or show him the sippy cup you like the most. Okay…maybe those are a little over-the-top, but you get the idea. There are ways to show him in a serious way, and ways to show him the “little” way.

 

Either way, I think he’ll get the message loud and clear. And remember; depending on how serious you both want this to be, there will be effort on both peoples’ ends to make it work. It takes two.

[Antoinette]

I'm a little confused. You say that you've been married two years but you're only 18. Did your parents consent to that or?

 

 

I'd imagine it depends on where they were born or got married. Here in the UK you can get married at sixteen with parental consent. 

 

Anyways, back to OP.

 

You could start by telling him about DD/lg from your perspective - so what you like about DD/lg and what interests you. Many people have many interpretations about DD/lg and many people have misconceptions about what DD/lg is, so it's best to tell him what you want from this. You could bring it up casually, asking him how he feels about being called 'daddy' is a good start, that's how I usually introduce generally 'vanilla' people to what DD/lg is, also being called Daddy is a popular turn on for many people so it's a good way to step away from the 'incest' misconception people have. 

 

Overall, just slowly tell him about what you want from this type of relationship - also make sure you've done the research fully and understand what you're getting into! Please tell us how this goes. :3

[Guest softheartbruisedknees]

Hello! I'm married and brought up ddlg to my husband. We also got married young at 21. 

 

My best advice would be to not overwhelm him with the idea and too much info. Introduce one idea at a time slowly. It's easy for people when they first hear about it to get the wrong idea. 

 

First talk to him about having a sub and dom relationship and let him get used to that idea, then you can move on to ddlg when the time is right. Going for instant gratification will lead to hurt feelings and mistakes. 

 

This process takes a long time with lots of reevaluation and communication in order to be done right!

 

Take it from me. I've made many mistakes in this area! Now Daddy & I enjoy a wonderful relationship, but at first I overwhelmed him and he had a hard time wrapping his head around it ^^;

Edited November 20, 2016 by softheartbruisedknees

[RavenclawPrincess]

I had the same dilemma with my husband. We've been together since I was only 21 and he's much older, so for years our relationship was very vanilla (to his disliking). Because of how young I was I didn't really get very far into discovering what I like and don't like until just recently. Turns out I'm just as kinky as he is (if not more so) but I was scared of talking to him about DDlg. I was super relieved when I did talk to him about it and he was really understanding and open to trying it out. We're still in the beginning stages of establishing that dynamic, so we're not 100% where we'd like to be at this point.

 

I really think you should talk to your husband and put it out there as something you're interested in. There's no "one right away" to go about DDlg so even if he isn't comfortable going all the way with the lifestyle I'm sure he'll go along with as much as he's comfortable with, and that's better than keeping quiet and not getting anything whatsoever related to the dynamic you want.